by Ada Porat | Jul 17, 2023 | Body Mind Spirit, Emotional healing, Life skills, Mindfulness, Personal growth
Photo Credit: Naira Babayan, Unsplash
Life includes a range of emotions, some pleasant and others challenging. We often feel the urge to resist or suppress challenging emotions, but doing so intensifies them over time.
Instead, mindfulness offers us practical ways to transform challenging emotions and enjoy inner peace. By developing this valuable skill, you can navigate difficult emotions with grace and enjoy greater emotional balance. Here’s how:
Become Aware of Your Emotions
Becoming aware of our emotions is the first step in effectively managing them. Check in with yourself during the day and become aware of the emotions you are experiencing. Recognize when challenging emotions surface so you can address them promptly before they escalate.
Identify The Emotion
By naming an unpleasant emotion, you can work with it more effectively. Does it feel like anger, stress, fear, overwhelm or anxiety? When you zero in and name the emotion, it brings more clarity to the way you feel.
Observe, Accept, and Detach
Simply observe the emotion without resistance or suppression. Recognize emotion as a natural part of the range of human experience. As an impartial observer, you can watch the emotion without losing yourself in it.
Externalize the Emotion
To externalize the emotion, visualize it as a color, shape, or tangible object. When you do that, it becomes more manageable and less overwhelming. You could visualize anger as a fiery red sphere, anxiety as a swirling cloud, or sadness as a heavy weight.
Consider the Source of the Emotion
Take a moment to reflect on possible triggers or causes for the emotion’s emergence. Understanding the source of the emotion can give you insight into how to avoid it in the future. Are you angry because you are hungry? Did someone’s actions trigger memories of old trauma that needs healing? When you understand how an emotion was triggered, it empowers you to do something positive about it.
Remember the Emotion’s Transient Nature
Emotions are transient, similar to clouds passing through the sky. Through patient observation, you’ll notice the emotion gradually losing intensity and dissolving, just as clouds dissipate in sunlight. You are not your emotions; you are eternal consciousness observing these transient emotions.
Return to Balanced Breathing
After processing a difficult emotion, you can regain calmness by focusing on your breath. Take a few deep breaths, keeping count on the inhalation and exhaling for the same count. Let your breath serve as an anchor, bringing you back to the present moment and restoring your inner sense of equilibrium.
When you handle emotions this way, you’ll access your emotional intelligence and restore inner peace, no matter what arises. Even more importantly, you’ll embody the presence of higher consciousness in which all forms of life can evolve.
©Copyright Ada Porat. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached. Ada Porat is an energy kinesiologist & pastoral counselor with extensive international teaching & clinical experience. She uses body/mind/spirit techniques to help clients make optimal life choices. For more information, visit https://AdaPorat.com
by Ada Porat | Dec 20, 2022 | Conscious living, Mindfulness, Peace, Spirituality
Photo credit: Sabine Schulte, Unsplash
Some people possess a very special quality: they embody the presence of now in their hearts. When we have a chance to sit close to such a person, we feel calm. They radiate an energy of peace that penetrates us deeply. It stills our wandering thoughts and quiets our worry.
Whenever we have a chance to walk alongside those souls who live in the eternal now, we can feel this subtle source of peace and joy. Through their presence, we are able to connect to that source as well. Their quiet consistency brings peace to the turbulence in the world around them, and they lead us by example to live in peace.
You too can live like this. You can shed your learned hurry and move through life as if there is no deadline to meet, no need to be somewhere else in this moment. You can move through life as if you are already where you need to be — as if you are arriving with every step. Each step can bring you closer to that perennial peace within —embodied in the presence of now.
When we choose to move through life like this, we lose our sense of isolation in the world. We are no longer separate individuals rushing about to avoid the bad and reach for good. Instead, we start feeling again our connection to the whole, like droplets remembering that they belong to the ocean. The drop of water does not need to do anything – it feels the embrace of the ocean and let itself be carried along by the current in each present moment.
That current is our spiritual core; the inner voice that whispers to us when we tune out the brassy loudness of the material world. To feel truly alive and at peace, it is essential to learn how to do that.
Perhaps you feel as if the opportunity for peace has passed you by; you said or did things that caused pain or separation between you and others. Perhaps you were not able to see truth clearly and judged from a place of fear or anger. It may feel as if it is too late to make amends; too much water has passed under the bridge.
Yet even the work of healing the past lies in the present moment. From this place of mindfulness, you can choose forgiveness and reconciliation to clear away misunderstandings, anger and sadness from the past. It is exactly in this moment, now, that the work of healing must be done to set your soul free.
No matter how difficult the challenges of the past have been, you are here now, reading these words. You are alive! Treasure the reality that you are alive in this moment, and embrace the opportunity for healing it offers. Sit down quietly and go within: meditate to look deep and sweep away the woundedness, prejudice and mistakes of the past. Accept the opportunity offered by the presence of now.
The present moment offers us a gift. It allows us to forgive, heal and return to peace. Life is present for you in this moment, waiting for you to choose what you will do with it, and in so doing, what quality of peace you will experience.
About the author
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Oct 26, 2022 | Conscious living, Mindfulness, Peace, Personal growth, Spirituality
Photo Credit: Elijah Hiett, Unsplash
I once had a client tell me: “Everything I’ve ever let go of had my claw marks all over it, and it hurt!” Sound familiar?
Many of us struggle with surrender or letting go because we see it as defeat or giving up. It scares us. We may equate surrender with quitting or failure, yet true surrender ultimately sets us free and empowers us.
True surrender asks us to open our hearts and look beyond our limited attachments. It invites us to let go of things that ultimately cause us pain, so we can embrace higher blessings. It is a transformative practice that we can nurture daily by bringing present moment awareness to our lives: How we think and act, what we choose, and where we place our focus.
Surrender happens in very practical ways of daily life. It’s not some abstract spiritual ideal for holy people, but rather the process of allowing Life Force to move through us and clear out what is no longer beneficial. It is an opportunity to open our hearts and to look beyond our fears, expectations, woundedness and disappointments to the freedom and peace that awaits when we let go of those lesser energies. Letting go is an invitation to reach beyond our limitations toward higher levels of being.
Surrender is neither defeat nor resignation. It activates our natural ability to let go of what now longer serves us. The process of surrender invites us to stop clinging and to view all our experiences with self-compassion. It calls us into a deeper relationship with the Creative Presence beyond our individual experiences.
The passing parade of everyday encounters offer us multiple opportunities for surrender. Do you feel put out by a last-minute change in schedule? Letting go of that can open your heart to receive an unexpected blessing you would have otherwise missed. Stuck in traffic? Letting go of impatience frees up your mind to give thanks for many other things that have worked out for you.
Surrender requires a change of focus. Instead of resorting to habitual knee-jerk reactions, we choose to become fully conscious of the bigger picture and choose a more appropriate response. We can let go of old beliefs and engage a broader perspective with more trust, deeper compassion for ourselves and others, and acceptance of what is.
Surrender also requires us to trust in the larger process. We are asked to stop clinging to our preconceived ideas about life, to let go and to let Higher consciousness guide us past our limiting attachments to something better. When we open to the process of surrender, we recognize that it is our desperate clinging to the known, that most often cause us pain. When we open our hearts to let go of that to which we cling, we find the grace to also embrace that which we resist. By letting go, we find personal growth and peace.
When struggling with letting go, it helps to remember that we’re simply letting go of old programs, limitations or feelings that have victimized and enslaved us for a long time. These old programs and coping mechanisms have simply blinded us to the higher truth of our real identity. We are letting go of what no longer serves us, to make room for what is more aligned with our path now!
The process of surrender is not complicated, but it does require self-discipline. It involves becoming aware of a reactive feeling as it arises within and staying with it; letting that feeling run its course without resisting, changing or trying to do anything else about it.
It’s helpful to remember that you are not your feelings; you exist beyond your feelings because you are able to observe them, so you are more than your feelings and cannot be swept away by them. From that perspective, you then simply observe what you are feeling – without resisting it, venting it, fearing it, condemning it, or moralizing about it. You are not judging the feeling because you recognize that it is just a feeling. You simply stay with the feeling and surrender all effort or desire to modify it in any way. You even let go of wanting to resist the feeling. It simply is what it is!
It is resistance that keeps our unwanted feelings going. A feeling that is not resisted will dissolve as the energy behind it dissipates. As soon as you find yourself no longer resisting or trying to avoid or modify the feeling, it will dissipate and shift to another feeling with a lighter sensation such as calm.
When you first start the process of surrender, you may notice how fear or guilt arise around the feelings you have, adding layers to the feeling. For example, you may notice some reaction that comes up in response to a feeling of fear you’re experiencing. You may be afraid of feeling fear, or you may judge your fear of feeling the fear. When this happens, just let go of the surrounding fear or judgment first, and then you’ll be able to let the core fear itself drain away.
To effectively surrender emotions you’d previously clung to or resisted unconsciously, it is helpful to stay fully present with your feelings. Ignore any thoughts, stories, or rationalizations that may arise in your mind. Renown psychiatrist Dr. David R. Hawkins used to say that thoughts are endless and self-reinforcing, so they only breed more thoughts. When you surrender all thoughts around a feeling, you will notice that old, entrenched feelings dissolve faster and with more ease.
You will also notice that all negative feelings are ultimately associated with the basic survival instinct. Feelings are merely survival programs that the mind believes are necessary for survival. By surrendering to the process and letting the feelings run their course, you are progressively winding down these outdated programs and you will experience more peace.
We are asked to surrender many times daily: in our work, love, relationships, and bodies. It takes great courage to let go and surrender to what is. It takes a firm commitment to open our hearts and hands, releasing what we’ve clung to. And yet, when we do this work, our hearts open to more peace, equanimity, and trust to enrich our lives.
When we stay present in each moment, we learn to recognize opportunities for surrender as calls for growth everywhere in life. It becomes a practical way of handling relationships, limitations and challenges. It also becomes a deeply personal journey of inner transformation. Instead of bemoaning our lot, we start to welcome every experience as a hand-picked opportunity for our ultimate learning and growth.
Living and letting go are intertwined. The more we surrender our resistance to unwanted difficulties, the more space we open up for all that’s beautiful, profound, and abundant. We attune to the sacred beauty of whatever is right in front of us at any given time.
About The Author:
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | May 23, 2022 | Conscious living, Gratitude, Life Balance, Mindfulness, Personal growth
Photo Credit: Mike Erskine, Unsplash
Sometimes when I garden, I think of all the life lessons gardening has taught me and my heart overflows with joy. Perhaps I should write one of those books titled: “Everything I need to know about life, I learned in my garden!”
Jokes aside, gardening for me is a sacred conversation with all of life. It intimately connects me with the earth, nature, creatures of all shapes and sizes, and life beyond. It brings me back to my happy space as a co-creator and nurturer.
The act of gardening brings us fully present to ourselves, each moment, and the Presence of the Creator permeating everything around us. The rich diversity of the microcosm we call gardening, is simply a sliver of the abundant cosmos we get to live in and explore. And as we seek to establish balance and participation in a garden, we set in motion a core of harmony that ripples out to bless all sentient life with beauty, sustenance, and vitality.
Gardening gathers us home to Mother Nature and all the lessons she has to share with us. As we tend the diverse aspects of a garden, we also commune with Mother Nature, and in turn she blesses us with nutritious bounty and beauty.
As in all of life, gardens enjoy seasons of growth like spring and loss like fall; there are times of giving as the blooms of summer, and seasons of rest as the seed beneath the snow. All the seasons are ours to experience.
How we experience each changing season, is up to each of us: we alone choose our responses to life, our ability to begin again and grow even after we’ve been pruned back hard.
Gardens are not just happenings. They’re expressions of the gardener’s presence. The more wonderful the garden, the more skilled the gardener. Together, the symbiotic relationship of garden and gardener offers us clear reminders of the principles we need to tend through the seasons of life.
As seasons revolve, periods of death and loss are followed by the rebirth of new life and vitality. Each plant grows, blooms and bears fruit, and then declines as a reminder of the sacred cycle of life and death. When the season of bounty is done, spent plants are recycled by composting them, and room is created for new shoots to emerge from the bountiful earth.
Like all of creation, gardening starts with a vision. It also requires effort and persistence to translate the vision into reality. Choices need to be made: our inner garden grows best when we plant seeds of faith, hope, love, compassion, forgiveness and trust. And then, we need to faithfully tend those seeds as they grow into their full potential.
To effectively cultivate our inner garden, we must care deeply for this life that’s ours and nurture it. We need to identify and remove weeds from our lives so they will not choke out the beauty of the life we’re cultivating. Likewise, we need to differentiate between what’s good and what’s unnecessary, so we can prune back behaviors and actions that interfere with our inner growth and harmony. Pruning, though painful, creates space for what we wish to bring forth.
Gardens are protected by healthy boundaries. When boundaries are defined, the tender plants are protected from predators while beneficial insects are invited to perform their service of pollination.
Gardening is inherently responsive and proactive. It teaches us the importance of spotting pesky invaders or the start of disease right away. Ignoring a few warning signs today can quickly escalate to a disastrous outcome or total crop loss. We need to remain vigilant, eliminate negative thoughts and maintain good emotional hygiene for a balanced life.
And when harm has been done, gardening also teaches us to forgive trespassers – both the intruders who hurt and damage what’s been painstakingly cultivated, and forgiving ourselves when we make mistakes or fail to live up to our own ideals.
Finally, gardening teaches us about the value of community. Plants are drawn to companions that comprise a supportive community. Tomatoes grow well alongside basil or peppers, but don’t thrive next to cabbage or broccoli. This does not make either plant type bad; it merely indicates a harmonic symbiosis which, when honored, results in more optimal outcomes. Likewise, we need the enrichment and support of a harmonious community to reach our full potential.
There’s no garden as prolific as the one that love grew, whether in nature or in our hearts. Love is at the core of all abundance, goodness and bounty. Author Daphne Rose Kingma expressed it this way:
“For it is in loving, as well as in being loved, that we become most truly ourselves. No matter what we do, say, accomplish, or become, it is our capacity to love that ultimately defines us. In the end, nothing we do or say in this lifetime will matter as much as the way we have loved one another.”
Even though the world is full of suffering, it’s also full of empowerment and opportunity. When we stop to reflect on the inner garden we’re tending – our inner being – we see this.
And so, we tend the verdant garden of our hearts so we can transition from fear to faith; from lack to abundance, and from defensiveness to blessing. It takes courage to step away from a busy schedule and to sit, tending our heart and soul. Yet all masters knew how important that is: even Gandhi took one day a week to sit in silence, tending the garden of his heart so he could be the change he sought in the world.
It is in quietude and contemplation that we recognize the stillness of the Creator Presence and our connection to all. That awareness can foster in us compassion for the woundedness of the world, so we commit to the awakening and care of our world.
Centuries ago, the Buddha taught: “To live in joy and love even among those who hate; to live in joy and health, even among the afflicted; to live in joy and peace, even among the troubled; quiet your mind and tend the heart, and free yourself from fears and confusion and attachment, and know the sweet joy of living in the Way.”
What is your bountiful gift to the world that only you can bring? Listen closely, push beyond discomfort to cultivate your seeds of potential, and grow them with love and joy!
About The Author:
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit http://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Mar 27, 2022 | Conscious living, Empowering changes, Mindfulness, Peace, Personal growth, Spirituality
Photo credit: Alex Pavlou, Unsplash
“Anyone can build a house of wood and bricks, but the Buddha taught that that is not our real home. Our real home is inner peace.” – Ajahn Chah
How can we possibly experience inner peace at a time when humanity and our planet appear to be tumbling deeper into chaos? Can inner peace even co-exist with chaos?
I believe the answer is Yes!
In fact, spiritual practices such as mindfulness and the ancient wisdom teachings show us how to cultivate inner peace in any situation.
The only time we have is the present now; tomorrow is not guaranteed. This present moment, therefore, is the perfect and only time where we can find inner peace. This inner peace, which is also known as equanimity in Buddhism, cannot be found in the outside world. And yet, the potential for inner peace exists in the mind and heart of every individual, so each one of us can learn how to create the inner conditions for experiencing lasting peace within.
One of the perennial wisdom teachings encourages us to view peace as the result of letting go: letting go of clingy attachment as well as letting go of its opposite, which is aversive resistance.
The process of letting go is simple, but not necessarily easy to practice. It requires self-discipline. And so, we tend to shop around for easier ways toward peace, running the risk of getting confused by external voices promising instant bliss and freedom from the human condition.
You see, random information without context leads to overwhelm and confusion. Instead, we need to discern what is truly useful for us at any given time. We also need to distinguish between the loud presence of random information and the gentle presence of inner equanimity, because that is how we liberate the mind. In the presence of equanimity, the mind is not hijacked by attachment or aversion.
Equanimity further grows when we recognize that all things are inherently neutral; it is simply our thinking that bestows meaning on things so we can then either attach to them or resist them. It is not the facts, but the stories about the facts, that hijack our minds into value judgments and rigid positions.
In Buddhist tradition, equanimity is seen as a central quality present in beings who have developed deep inner wisdom and alignment with truth, free from hostility and ego will.
Equanimity relates to inner poise and balance because it rests in a place of non-attachment; centered between attraction and repulsion. It poises in a calm place of neither clinging to nor pushing away from things. Finding that neutral resting place within offers us a higher perspective over issues rather than getting stuck in the egoic interpretation of what’s happening. The more we develop equanimity, then, the more inner peace and spaciousness we experience in life.
Each one of us can develop more equanimity by practicing mindfulness in our lives on a daily basis and using an inner inquiry process to help us unpack emotions as they arise. Here are five steps to help with the process:
1. Set a clear intention to stay mindful
Setting a clear intention reminds us to step out of the ego identification of attachment and aversion; story-making and drama. It is the first step in cultivating true inner awareness.
2. Recognize the triggers
When a trigger arises, we may try to avoid feeling our emotions around it. Instead, we may distract ourselves with shopping or work, or we may attempt to numb our emotions with food or other substances. If we truly want to discharge the impact of the trigger, we absolutely need to become aware and look at it. Sometimes, the simple act of clearly seeing allows our reaction to the trigger to dissolve so we can replace it with equanimity.
3. Become curious
When we feel lost in reactions of anger and frustration to triggers, it is helpful to recognize that there is a desire hidden there, way beneath the frustration or anger. There may be attachment to a wishful outcome, or a craving for safety and security. It can be helpful to ask questions about where the attachment or aversion came from, what it is attempting to accomplish and what needs to be done with it to help us dissolve inner dissonance. We can also investigate the ways in which we distract ourselves to avoid feeling pain or avoid accepting reality.
4. Let go of attachment and aversion
By bringing compassionate awareness to these inner emotions and processes, we can separate out truth from our colored interpretation. Next, we need to ask ourselves if we are willing to let go:
- Am I willing to let go of control?
- Am I willing to let go of my attachment or aversion to what showed up in the past or in my present?
- Am I willing to let go of the way I think things should be?
- Am I willing to let go of resisting what is?
- Can I simply let go and allow things to be as they are
5. Embrace peace
Letting go of attachments and aversions offers us the opportunity to return to our innate state of peace. As we let go of these things, we create space for equanimity.
Equanimity is the final result of this deep inquiry process that helps us dissolve inner dissonance, become aware of areas where we are distracting ourselves, and come back into proper alignment with truth and peace within, free from attachment and aversion.
After practicing this inner inquiry, simply bask in the stillness of awareness, allowing the radiant heart and mind spaces to open. Allow life to unfold in its fullness, expanding and contract with each heartbeat of life so you can know the peace of observing all without attachment, and in so doing, find inner peace.
About The Author:
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Jun 21, 2021 | Conscious living, Environment, Gratitude, Mindfulness
Photo Credit: David Clode, Unsplash
Sometimes life calls us to slow down a bit and step aside, to quiet the endless chatter of our minds and the demands of our outer world, and to become still.
We are invited to notice the Divine nature of everything around us. In that stillness, we come to acknowledge the beauty of song and the vulnerability of our wounds, the magic of the seeming insignificant and the terror of the unknown. We find grace to tend our needs and return to our center.
And once we have been renewed, we bring the message back to others who, in turn, can shake themselves awake and look at life in new ways – as if for the very first time.
It does not matter what brought you here, or which path stripped away your protective layers to leave you trembling before the awe of life. You are here now, and so I would like to share with you a vision of things that touch our hearts.
I want to gift you a glimpse of the intricate and miraculous web of life and watch the recognition light up your eyes. I want to share with you the grace of a few small things and stir the deep memory of endless opportunities to love despite the vastness of an incomprehensible universe.
Today, I awoke to the symphony of birds whose names I’ll never know and marveled at the incredible complexity of their harmonies as they exuberantly welcomed the arrival of a bright new day. It spoke to me of joy.
In the street, parents walked their children to the park, small hands swallowed up by theirs, smiling as they inclined their heads to hear stories bubbling from those rosy lips and downy cheeks, excited at the possibilities of a new day, and it spoke to me of hope.
I remembered the way the red hen hunched down and spread her wings so her baby chicks could find shelter from the rain as they huddled beneath her breast, and I felt love.
After the rain, the fern at the base of the stairs finally succeeded in breaking through the stony cracks to unfurl its tiny fronds to warm sunlight, and it reminds me of courage.
The way young people lean eagerly, expectantly into their future even when they don’t know what it holds, and it speaks of confidence.
And the way the old dog stretches out to let the morning sun warm its stiff joints, surrendering to each present moment.
And the way the car hesitates for a moment before the gear engages, reminding me of my own doubts.
And the way the grackles peck at the oranges in the trees, carefully grooming themselves with the oils and then announcing their gleaming handiwork with loud caws before flying off to what they do next. And I am reminded that self-nurture precedes all service.
And the way a sentence can leap right off the page to pierce your heart with its honesty and truth, so you need to stop for a minute to experience the awe and beauty of it.
And the way you sometimes glimpse someone in a vulnerable moment and see right inside them to the soul that’s there, and your heart wells with compassion and love for its innocence.
Yes, I know there is a lot of pain and suffering in our world. Good things end and bad things linger on, we fail and struggle and get hurt, hammered by loss and accident and tragedy until, someday, we are freed to slip away into the darkness beyond it all.
But I also know we carry awesome potential, and our experiences can make us kinder and more loving if we let them. I know we can choose how we respond to life: either dismissing dissonance as nonsense and huddling behind walls or embracing things that touch our hearts, even when we do not understand their full meaning.
Life speaks to us in a myriad of ways that cannot be measured or understood unless we listen carefully, and then are able to accept the messages of love, courage and hope. When we honor the grace of small things, life can be a beautiful dialogue with our souls.
About the Author
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
