by Ada Porat | Sep 16, 2024 | Conscious living, Cope with change, Decision-making, Healthy boundaries, Life skills, Spirituality
Photo Credit: Clayton Chase, Unsplash
In a world that glorifies action, achievement, and constant self-improvement, we are conditioned from a young age to solve problems and fix what’s broken. We’re taught to hustle, to push forward, and to always be on the lookout for the next thing to improve. We’re praised for quick thinking and problem-solving and rewarded for taking swift action.
There’s undeniable value in this approach. But when applied indiscriminately, it becomes exhausting and unsustainable. The endless drive to “do something” in every situation can drain us, leaving us feeling overwhelmed and inadequate.
There are moments—often the most important ones—when the best course of action is to pause, be still, and allow life to unfold without our interference.
In our personal lives, the urge to act often shows up in subtle ways—constantly trying to improve relationships and situations or relentlessly pursuing goals. While these efforts are noble, the constant push can lead to burnout, anxiety, and feeling that we’re never quite enough.
There is a fine balance between action and stillness. The real skill lies in knowing when to act and when to be still. We often gain the most profound insights during stillness, even as life moves forward without our intervention. It’s in these pauses that clarity can emerge, giving us a deeper understanding of what really matters.
The Wisdom of Stillness
Across spiritual traditions—whether Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism or Taoism—there is a shared recognition of the power of being present and allowing things to unfold naturally. This doesn’t mean disengaging from life or becoming passive. Instead, it’s about discerning when a situation calls for action and when it’s better to remain still and trust the unfolding process.
Being still, then, is not inaction; it’s a conscious choice, a form of active surrender. It’s the willingness to stop forcing solutions and allow the wisdom of life’s natural rhythms to take over. Appropriately choosing stillness offers many benefits.
Stepping back can bring clarity and perspective. When we take a step back from chaos, we create space for reflection. In this stillness, we can see things from a broader perspective, often revealing solutions and insights that would have remained hidden in the heat of the moment. It’s the pause before the action that allows us to make better choices.
Not every problem requires immediate intervention. In fact, some issues resolve themselves if given enough time. Relationships, for example, can often heal better during periods of quiet rather than immediate confrontation. By giving ourselves—and others—the space to process emotions, conflicts can dissolve naturally, without our constant effort to fix things.
Constantly trying to fix everything is exhausting, too! When we learn to discern when to act and when to remain still, we conserve our energy for what truly matters. We become more focused and intentional, directing our efforts toward what will have the greatest impact.
Practical Ways to Embrace Stillness
In a world that urges frenetic activity, how do we make room for stillness? It begins with recognizing that sometimes the best action is no action at all. Here are some simple practices to help you embrace stillness:
- Cultivate A Spiritual Practice
When we cultivate a relationship with Source, we also develop and fine-tune our inner radar system over time. This allows us to discern how best to respond to any given situation.
- Practice Mindfulness
Even just a few minutes of mindfulness meditation each day can help cultivate inner calm, allowing you to observe your thoughts without immediately reacting to them. This practice builds resilience and presence, helping you stay grounded in moments of uncertainty.
- Set Boundaries
Not every issue requires your attention, and not every problem is yours to solve. Setting clear boundaries around your time and energy allows you to prioritize what truly matters, including your own well-being. Give yourself permission to let go of the urge to control or fix everything.
- Accept What Is
Acceptance is not resignation; it’s a conscious decision to acknowledge things as they are, without the constant urge to resist or change them. In acceptance, we find peace. By allowing situations and people to simply be as they are, we open the door to natural resolution and growth.
- Reflect and Journal
Taking time to reflect on your life through journaling can reinforce the experience of inner peace and stillness. Writing allows you to process emotions, track your growth, and observe how many situations resolve themselves without your intervention. It’s a powerful reminder that not everything requires immediate action.
Moving Forward with Discernment
Learning the art of stillness is an act of self-care and wisdom in a world obsessed with constant activity. It can be very freeing to notice that not every problem needs our attention and that sometimes, the best action we can take is to pause and let things be.
Choosing stillness doesn’t mean abandoning action altogether. The key is balance. Some situations call for decisive action, while others require patience and stillness. The skill lies in discerning between the two and trusting that in stillness, life often resolves itself in ways we could never have planned.
By embracing stillness, we find a deeper sense of peace, clarity, and freedom. We learn that we don’t need to be everything to everyone, all the time. And in that space of letting go, we discover the profound beauty of simply being.
©Copyright Ada Porat. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached. For more information, visit https://AdaPorat.com
by Ada Porat | Feb 19, 2024 | Cope with change, Decision-making, Empowering changes, Joy, Self-awareness, Spirituality
Photo Credit: Karsten Winegeart, Unsplash
Personal freedom is essential for optimal living. And yet, as we look around us in the world these days, freedom is a lonely goddess.
The more we speak of the need and desire for freedom, the more it seems to dissipate all round. Freedom of speech, freedom of choice, freedom over our health and bodies… more and more, these freedoms are curtailed by a small minority “for your own good.”
Really?
When did we mysteriously lose the ability to research, learn, discern and choose according to the innate Wisdom that guides each one of us? How could the agenda of a few possibly serve the needs of a multitude of individual human beings?
I believe it’s time to take back our Divinely given right to choose.
It’s time to restore our freedom. By reclaiming our freedom as individuals, we can help restore sanity to our world. We shall find freedom in our world to the extent that we restore freedom inside ourselves and in our lives.
Where in your life do you need freedom? Is it freedom from debt that you crave? Or freedom from a job that keeps you just above being broke? Or freedom from dysfunctional relationships that poison your emotional well-being?
Freedom is a beautiful thing, and it is available to each one of us. However, the path to freedom runs counter to our survival impulses. We do not find freedom by capitulating or by escaping reality – we find it by facing the ways in which each of us has given our precious personal power away.
To the extent that you’re willing to face the external promise of external power, security, and support enough to abandon your personal power, choice and autonomy, you’ll reclaim your Divinely endowed freedom as a soul. The more you’re willing to intentionally face the ways in which you settled for empty promises of externally granted freedom, the more you’re able to reclaim your personal power, choice and freedom.
True freedom starts with each one of us as individuals. What is weighing down your consciousness and disempowering you? Go there and do what you need to clean it out. Start taking back your freedom!
You are the one who gave away your power to choose, and so you are the one who can set yourself free.
Imagine what your life could look like if you took your power back! Who would you become? What would you create as your living legacy? How would you feel about the future if you could intentionally create space for something new to show up?
The journey to personal freedom is a heroic one that each one of us needs to undertake if we choose to live meaningfully.
It is a magical journey that offers a sense of wonder and sheer joy, of falling in love with life. Magic happens when we let our guard down and start to live from the inside out, instead of trying to appease external dictates.
The path of freedom invites us to open to new experiences, living with a vulnerability that is free from fear. No matter what else is happening in our lives, we have an open invitation to fall in love with life.
Where many are discouraged by the divisiveness and polarized perspectives in the world around us, I see opportunities for humanity to rise to the challenges of this time.
It is time to adapt to uncertainty and subjective realities by improving our ability to listen deeply to our inner guidance as well as the voices of others. Freedom requires us to respect the subjective experiences and viewpoints of others instead of trying to make them wrong. Above all, we need to fully accept the sovereignty of ourselves and others to choose our individual paths.
I believe that humanity can release the childish egoic desire to win at all costs, and that we can adapt to living in harmony with the uncertainty and entanglement that undergirds the quantum paradigm.
We have great opportunities to reclaim our freedom and empowerment as individuals, and to help restore the collective. We’re invited to honor just how connected we are with one another and with all life. We are free to relax into the diversity of an abundant universe, and to experience a state of continuous flow and quantum coherence.
When we no longer give away our freedoms for a false sense of certainty, we’ll enjoy an ever-deepening trust in the perfect unfoldment of Nature, the Cosmos, and unconditional Divine love.
Freedom of choice allows us to tap into the abundance of a Universe that far exceeds anything we’ve known so far. It all starts by taking back our freedom as individuals, and letting the energy ripple out from there to transform our world!
©Copyright Ada Porat. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached. For more information, visit https://AdaPorat.com
by Ada Porat | Jun 14, 2018 | Decision-making, Empowering changes, Life skills
Decisions feature hugely in our lives – and optimal decisions are invaluable. At this very moment, your life is the product of every decision you’ve made along the way – both big ones and small ones.
Since you navigate life by the choices you make, you can substantially improve your outcomes by making more optimal decisions. Here are twenty proven ways to enhance your decision making.
- Take appropriate ownership. Recognize that some decisions that are not yours to make. Life flows more smoothly when you accept responsibility for your own decisions and give others the freedom to accept responsibility for theirs.
- Avoid oversimplicity. Making an optimal decision is a process of selecting from among various alternatives; it is not just choosing between right and wrong. Avoid over-simplistic black and white thinking, and you will find many additional options in between.
- Use the OAR approach in your decision-making. Consider the Objectives you desire; the Alternatives that are available and the Risks of every alternative you are considering.
- Do your research. Learn how others have addressed similar issues, expand your awareness of options and open your mind to possibilities you may not have not considered.
- Take time to be thorough. Consider all the alternatives and write down the pros and cons of every line of action. It clarifies your thinking and makes for a better decision.
- Avoid snap decisions. Move fast on reversible choices and slowly on irreversible decisions.
- Respect the value of timing. Choosing the right alternative at the wrong time is no better than the wrong alternative at the right time, so an optimal decision will ideally happen while you still have time to refine it.
- Never let decisions accumulate. Make step-by-step decisions as you go along – a backlog of many little decisions can bog you down mentally and lead to overwhelm.
- Take time to ponder. Review all the facts as soon as you are aware of a decision to be made, then set it aside. Let the options incubate in your subconscious until it is time to make the actual decision.
- Avoid decisions based on fear. Base your decisions on positive values and goals that are important to you, not on people or circumstances you want to avoid.
- Consider others. Your decisions may have a huge impact on other people, even though you are ultimately responsible for those decisions. Whenever feasible, ask for input from people who may be affected before you make your decision.
- Don’t wait for guarantees. Often, it is impossible to have 100% certainty that your decision is correct because the implementation and outcomes are still in the future. It is enough to do due diligence and make a choice now; you can fine-tune your decision later.
- Avoid analysis paralysis. Remember that not making a decision is actually a decision not to take action!
- Keep an open mind. Every decision is a learning opportunity: you have the right to make poor decisions as well as excellent ones, and you have an opportunity to learn from them all.
- Keep perspective. Don’t waste your time making decisions that do not have to be made – focus on essential decisions instead, and the others will fall into place.
- Consider practical factors. As part of your decision-making process, always consider how you would implement your choice.
- Assess the risk. Before implementing what appears to be the best choice, assess the risk by asking “What can I think of that might go wrong with this alternative?”
- Don’t waffle. Once you’ve made an optimal decision, don’t look back! Accept that you made the most appropriate choice given the information and options you had to work with and focus instead on your next move.
- Commit to your decision. Once you’ve made a decision, banish doubt from your mind; instead, commit yourself to making your choice an optimal decision.
- Celebrate optimal decisions. Commend yourself for the optimal decisions you have made, and you have more confidence the next time you are faced with a choice.
About the author
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Oct 23, 2017 | Cope with change, Decision-making, Fear and anxiety, Gratitude, Life transitions
In today’s world, change confronts us with major, life-defining crossroads more frequently than ever. For one person it may mean leaving a job that no longer works. For others, that life-defining moment is on a personal level: finding the courage to break free from addiction, leave a relationship or reclaim their health.
Facing life-defining crossroads as the captain of your own life can feel scary or intimating, but it need to be so. Crossroads represent more than disruption of the status quo: they are opportunities for our choices to determine long-term outcomes. The way we navigate them are critical: we can choose a path from a place of fear and survival, or we can choose from a place of faith and trust.
Whenever you encounter crossroads in your life, something deeper in you is being called forth and, once you answer that call, you know that life will never be the same. You can step to become a co-creator with the Divine, choosing a path that ultimately enriches your life.
When you first encounter a life-defining crossroads, you may be unsure about how to proceed. Inspired guidance has not yet come forth and you may feel as if you are lost between the past and the future. This stage offers you the opportunity to embrace the unknown rather than feeling afraid or stuck. How can you do this without going into fear?
It is helpful to remember that the experience of nothingness – the void of the unknown – is really the experience of pure potential. The place of non-material nothingness embodies pure, undifferentiated potential for a new reality to emerge in response to your intention, focus and faith. Instead of emptiness, this space contains the fullness of all possibilities. It offers you the opportunity create a new level of being for your soul to experience.
Facing the unfamiliar and unknown is actually a gift: it offers you a profound opportunity for conscious creation! Recognize that you are not at the whim of outside circumstances and random events here. This is an opportunity for you to attract optimal outcomes by using the timeless tools of co-creation: intention, alignment, trust and gratitude.
You can consciously guide and create events through your focused intention, which forms the core of any creative process. When you set your intention clearly and specifically, you signal to the energies out there to create a reality that resonates with what you hold in mind.
Next, you need to take responsibility for your feelings so that you are in emotional alignment with your intention, banishing any sense of fear, worry or doubt. Wherever your focus goes, energy flows. It is therefore essential to recognize any thoughts, feelings and emotions of fear, and to release these with compassion so your mind can be at peace – the true resting place of faith.
Finally, you have to let go of trying to control outcomes. Instead, present your desire or need to the Divine and then detach from it. Simply let go of all attachments and aversions related to the situation: both your attachment to the desired outcome and your fears of the alternative. Trust the Life Force to respond to your situation at the appropriate time and in the appropriate way.
Then, allow gratitude to fill your being: give thanks for Divine guidance, provision and support to flow into you with each breath you take. Let the Divine Presence which sustains your very being, surround and fill you with a deep sense of gratitude. This attitude of gratitude expands your perspective to recognize guidance, synchronicities and confirmation on your journey.
When you operate from this place of gratitude and trust, you will take inspired action rather than pushing to make things happen from a place of fear or control. You are indeed part of a dynamic feedback loop with Divinity; a co-creative relationship where you are holding space for answers to emerge through your intention, alignment, trust and gratitude.
Once you grasp the enormous potential inherent in this process, you will approach life’s crossroads as an opportunity to create optimal outcomes from the raw materials of faith. Co-creating with Divine inspiration, your mind can begin to grasp what it means to have all of time and space at your disposal.
Here are a few principles to keep in mind as you learn to become fearless in the field of all possibilities:
- Remain detached from both expectations and fears. Recognize that attachment breeds expectation and fear. Instead, focus on the Eternal Source of your supply and keep your focus on that Divine Source rather than on circumstances.
- Keep your perspective on the present moment. When we focus on the future, we feed fear and anxiety; when we focus on the past, we feed guilt, blame and regret. In the present moment, there is always enough grace to meet your need, no matter how overwhelming the circumstances. By staying focused on the present, you stay open to all the possibilities.
- Adapt quickly to mistakes. Rather than turning a setback into some judgment about yourself, the situation or somebody else, simply acknowledge your feelings of disappointment and take note of what you have learned from it. Then renew the process of detachment, surrender and trust so you can return to your ultimate resting place of peace.
- Be alert to tiny signals – major turning points of life often arrive as small signals at first. Learn to see and interpret the metaphors through which life speaks to you.
- Cultivate a healthy, balanced connection between your soul and body. You will be most effective at decision-making when you remain aware of your spiritual core guiding you through the physical challenges of life, rather than trying to disassociate from either aspect.
- Stay flexible in your understanding and embrace ambiguity. Transformation is sometimes a messy process. Flexibility makes it easier to release unrealistic expectations when they prove untenable.
- Be patient. You are a spiritual being that exists in eternity; don’t let human expectations and timelines rob you of peace. Surrender every fear, doubt, anxiety or worry as it surfaces, so you can hold a space of clear intention and trust the perfect unfolding of Divine order.
- Take excellent care of yourself. Nurture yourself with healthy food, exercise and rest so you can have the physical resilience and stamina to realize optimal outcomes.
- Allow your core values to guide your decisions. When your choices, actions and behaviors are aligned with your values, you won’t need to second-guess yourself.
- Honor healthy boundaries. Learn that “no” can be a complete sentence. It’s a healthy and necessary way to address external demands at a time when you need time and space to figure out major life decisions.
- Be discerning about the company you keep. During times of change, it is important to receive validation from people whose view of reality matches your own. Such encouragement supports your process of learning to trust your own inner guidance, whereas negative people deplete your energy.
- Take time for meditation or contemplation. This practice will help you stay centered and at peace. It is also a powerful way to re-connect to Divine inspiration and fuel for your soul.
Together, these principles can help you fearlessly face the unknown and embrace new possibilities. The cross-roads of your life can become a life-changing opportunity!
About the Author
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Feb 3, 2017 | Conscious living, Decision-making, Self-awareness
Cognitive dissonance is the discomfort of self-image colliding with reality. Such collisions are inevitable, as self-image tends to be based on values – what is most important to you – while reality tends to be created around behavioral choices, expectations and commitments in the world around us.
Psychologist Leon Festinger coined the term ‘cognitive dissonance’ to describe the uncomfortable tension we feel when we experience conflicting thoughts or beliefs (cognitions) within ourselves, or when we encounter behavior that is opposed to our beliefs.
For example, if someone believes that they are not racist, but then discriminates against another based on race, this confronts the discriminator with the discomfort of facing that their behavior is in fact racist. To escape this discomfort, the discriminator may rationalize their behavior on some other grounds, no matter how obtuse, but which allows them to hold on to their otherwise discredited belief.
Not everyone feels cognitive dissonance to the same degree. People with a higher need for consistency and certainty in their lives usually feel the effects of cognitive dissonance more than those who have a lesser need for such consistency.
To release the tension between two opposing cognitions, we can take one of three actions:
- Justify our behavior by changing the conflicting cognition;
- Ignore the dissonance by diverting our attention to new issues; or
- Minimize the dissonance by changing our behavior.
While cognitive dissonance happens to all of us, it is HOW we respond, that determines whether we evolve through expanded understanding or whether we devolve into a reactionary, limiting stance.
Unconscious strategies can serve as temporary coping mechanisms, but will not result in optimal long-term solutions. To optimally resolve cognitive dissonance, we need to take conscious action.
Unconscious Coping Strategies
Some unconscious strategies often used to cope with cognitive dissonance, include:
- Avoidance– avoiding information that leads to dissonance by avoiding discussion of emotionally charged topics.
- Distortion– deleting or distorting facts and beliefs to reduce dissonance.
- Distraction – distract oneself from uncomfortable issues by focusing on other issues.
- Confirmation– exercising selective bias by embracing information that confirms or bolsters one’s own cognitions while ignoring other, verifiable facts.
- Reassurance– looking for reassurance from others that one’s cognitions are correct and OK.
- Re-valuation– changing the importance of existing or new cognitions to reduce inner dissonance.
Cognitive dissonance is a formidable adversary that can destroy good judgment. But this is something we must overcome as individuals if we wish to grow and mature.
A huge part of combating cognitive dissonance is learning how to navigate from outdated worldviews and limiting belief systems to updated ones where we expand our understanding and grow in maturity. That transition takes effort, but the alternative is worse – delusion and stagnation.
Healthy Coping Strategies
Here are seven healthy strategies for overcoming cognitive dissonance in ways that empower and lead to personal growth:
The first step in overcoming cognitive dissonance is to go deeper; questioning our own values, motives, desires and expectations. We may not have answers to the dissonant issues yet, but cognitive dissonance offers us a chance to review our own principles. When we do so honestly, we can release those that no longer serve us, update our outdated frames of reference, and recommit to our core values. This willingness to question ourselves as well as the dissonance outside of us, forms the foundation for personal growth.
- Comfort vs. Accomplishment
Human beings are absurdly insecure. We tend to cling to comfort and avoid discomfort to feel safe and secure. Ironically, comfort is the enemy of accomplishment. It’s at the edge of our comfort zone where true growth is achieved: the place where we question our cultural conditioning, beliefs and ideas. When we muster the courage question our own tightly-held beliefs, we stretch our comfort zone until we become more adaptable and fluid in our living.
In a world of rampant anti-intellectualism and mindless trolls hell-bent on attacking the Other, we can find personal freedom by recognizing that we need not change another’s belief systems in order to feel safe. In fact, it takes all kinds to make a world, and the sum of diversity is richer than the individual aspects that comprise it. When we recognize that we do not gain stature by chopping off another’s legs, we become more tolerant of the endless variety of belief systems that make up society.
Personal freedom lies in recognizing that we are limitless souls experiencing life in a dualistic Universe. When we recognize the uniqueness of each soul sharing this human experience, we find the equanimity to celebrate the uniqueness of each life, no matter how different, without the need to judge or change them. It also frees us to celebrate and develop our unique gifts and talents as a gift to ourselves, the world and our Creator.
- Harness Dissonance for Growth
We can learn to harness our cognitive dissonance as a tool for growth instead of seeing it as a threat to comfort. Indeed, a rough road often leads to greatness. One of the ways to turn perceived threats into opportunities, is to ask ourselves about a challenge, “How can this be useful?” Rather than resist the challenge, we can look for ways to use it as a stepping stone for growth.
Humor and joy are powerful tools to help us escape the intensity of cognitive dissonance. Anthropologist Joseph Campbell said, “Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.” When we learn to poke fun at our own fears and failings, it sets us free to find joy. Comedians use this principle well by ridiculing the very things which others take too seriously. Robert Frost quipped, “Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I’ll forgive Thy great big joke on me.”
- Get Off The Hamster Wheel
There’s an awful dread that comes with knowing that we are fallible, prone-to-mistakes, and imperfect mortal beings; but there is also a kind of awe-inspiring beauty to it. The idea that we can learn from our mistakes; that we can transform pain into knowledge, anger into courage, and loss into love, is at the heart of the soul’s journey.
To fully participate in this journey, we need to actively participate in shedding the habits and limiting beliefs that have kept us running on the hamster wheel of life without any point of arrival. The change that needs to happen is not outside of us; it starts within. As Gandhi said, we need to BE the change we wish to see in the world. The more we use the discomfort of cognitive dissonance as a sharpening stone to hone our core values, beliefs and truths, the more we will experience inner peace, regardless of the outer challenges we face.
Conclusion
The choice to courageously deal with obstacles is at the heart of personal growth work. Cognitive dissonance can actually help us mature.
As dissonance arises, we can face it head-on. We can work at getting a clear sense of what has changed in our environment and how best to respond. We can recommit to our truth and values despite the dissonance it evokes, and determine to hold our space as unique souls until the tide turns.
About the author
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Aug 11, 2016 | Change bad habits, Conscious living, Decision-making, Fear and anxiety
Worry happens to all of us, but there’s a kind of worry that not threatens your success; it is downright dangerous to your health. This is chronic worry, and it makes you ruminate endlessly about anything that might go wrong.
Chronic worry about life’s events won’t change them; it will impair you. It is a tragic misuse of your imagination to worry about awful things that might happen in your future. This insidious form of chronic worry is like a virus of the mind that breeds negativity and powerlessness.
Spiritual teachers label worry a sign of ego, and for good cause: when we worry, we erroneously take responsibility for all the things we worry about. Worriers falsely think they are responsible for it all.
How futile! None of us can worry ourselves well, or worry our way to fat bank accounts, or worry away the problems of the world.
The beloved humorist Erma Bombeck used to say: “Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.”
You and I grew up despite the worries of our parents; we explored, failed, experimented and learned how to navigate life by doing, not by worrying. And the same holds true for our loved ones. When you worry about what will become of your child, your parent or your job, you are not helping anybody – least of all yourself. In fact, you are assuming a false sense of responsibility for the choices of another. You may even think that by worrying, you can change events.
The bottom line is this: you are not responsible for the choices of others. Worrying about these things is not an act of faith; it is an act of fear. Author Leo Buscaglia put it this way: “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”
Wouldn’t it be a whole lot more practical to focus on the things you CAN do today, instead of worrying about what tomorrow may bring?
The vast majority of things we worry about in life, never happen. Worry is simply the ego’s way of conjuring up worst case scenarios in a futile attempt to prepare for whatever might happen… or not!
Chronic worry will drain your energy, sap your strength and rob you of sleep. Over time, the impact of continuous worry presents as anxiety and a host of physical problems ranging from headaches and sleep disturbances to high blood pressure and mood disorders.
Indeed! If a problem can be solved, there is no need to worry about it. If the problem cannot be solved or it is not your task to solve it, what is the use of worrying about it?
Worrying is a learned response that leads to negativity. Self-responsibility, on the other hand, is a learned response that leads to positivity. And you can to meet life’s challenges with self-responsibility instead of chronic worry.
When facing an actual challenge, you’d do better by following a few clear guidelines before automatically starting to worry about it:
- Is this situation your personal responsibility? If not, let it go!
- If the situation is indeed your responsibility, what’s the worst thing that can happen? Accept the worst-case scenario as your baseline, and then start building a creative solution from there.
- Pay attention to what is needed now. Ask yourself how your wise Higher self would deal with the situation. What can you do about the situation right now? Take responsibility for your life and actions, and make a list of possible things you can do, including getting more facts or information.
- And now, take action in day-tight compartments, as motivational guru Dale Carnegie described present-moment awareness. Do what you can with what you know right now, even if it is only a small step, and let go of worry! Tomorrow may bring additional options and insights to act on, but worrying about it today will not change outcomes.
- Avoid rumination. When you ruminate on a problem, you are not creating solutions; you are feeding the problem instead. To break this negative cycle, you need to disrupt the rumination and reconnect to the present moment every time it happens.
- Remember that you can adapt, create, change and evolve as part of the problem-solving process. If your plan A doesn’t work, keep in mind that the alphabet has 25 more letters!
- And, finally, count your blessings, not your troubles. Remember that whatever you focus on, tends to expand. So focus on the blessings of your life; cultivate an attitude of gratitude for little things that brighten your day, and you will find yourself uplifted.
By consciously choosing how you respond to life’s challenges, you can unlearn the nasty habit of worry and act from your happy place instead.
About the author
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
