by Ada Porat | Jul 24, 2024 | Empowering changes, Gratitude, Healthy boundaries, Life skills, Personal growth, Resilience
Photo credit: Waldoon, Adobe Stock
Living your best life is all about making the most with what you have right now. Clearing the cobwebs from old, limiting thinking can be a great way for you to shine. Here are ten truths to challenge limiting beliefs and empower you so you can make the most of your life now:
1.Nobody knows why anybody does anything – and it doesn’t matter.
You don’t have to figure out why your neighbor ignores you or what happened to someone as a child to make her so mean. We humans are products of both our nature and our nurture – most of the time, we do things simply because we can. Trying to figure out why keeps us stuck in the past, so stop the over-analysis. Let it go, be here now and don’t take things personally!
2. Nobody owes you a thing.
Life is a precious gift, not an entitlement. You could never repay the time, love and support it took to get where you are today: loved ones, teachers and peers believed in you, challenged you and pushed you to become who you are. So, the real question is not what you can get from life, but what you are giving back in return.
3. You’ll be balanced when you’re dead…
Not a moment sooner! We chase balance like the Holy Grail, but it is the very cyclical nature of change that adds momentum to life. If you’re passionate about something, you may well want more of it in your life, so go for it. Your kids won’t turn into losers if you miss a few softball practices, so ease up on yourself. Learn to surf the waves of change with inner equilibrium instead.
4. Multi-tasking is an oxymoron.
Don’t be intimidated by people who do five things at once. Studies show that we don’t actually do more than one thing at a time – we simply switch our attention rapidly between projects, and we compromise on the quality of our output. Would you feel comfortable with a surgeon who juggles performing your surgery while texting and making phone calls? Choose to be masterfully present with one thing at a time instead of trying to be a jack of all trades, and you will ultimately be more effective.
5. You don’t deserve anything you have.
If in doubt, go back to #2. Entitlement is really unattractive. No matter how hard you’ve worked or planned, it is delusional to think that you are in complete control of the outcomes. God, circumstance, the actions of others, and timing all play big parts in your success, so skip the entitlement and practice gratitude for what life brings.
6. You’re ordinary.
Relax, it’s a compliment! Ordinary people are reliable, industrious and consistent. Superstars often lose their inner freedom to the demands of fame, especially when their egos take over. Who would you rather call at 2 AM when your car breaks down – Tony Robbins or your brother-in-law?
7. You’re not a victim; you’re a volunteer.
The old saying that nobody can take advantage of you without your permission is true. We teach people how to treat us. If you don’t want something to happen anymore, don’t set it up in the first place. You change your life by changing yourself first.
8. You’re right. Life isn’t fair.
Life is more random that we could have ever imagined! It is also interesting and instructive when you keep an open mind, for it is from the seemingly random dynamics of change, that miracles emerge and possibilities show up.
9. There is no perfect time.
There is no place where time stands still and standards are lowered to keep you in your comfort zone. At any point in time there are only three things present: you, and life, and this very moment. What you make of this present moment, is up to you. What are you doing with your life right now?
10. Gratitude is next to Godliness.
Cleanliness is way down the list! I have yet to encounter someone at the end of life regretting the dust on their furniture or the stains on their windows… but many regret the opportunities for gratitude they passed up. Eckhart Tolle puts it this way: “Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” Look for things you can be grateful for and you will be amazed at how many more blessings show up.
About The Author:
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Aug 9, 2023 | Change bad habits, Life skills, Personal growth, Self-awareness
Photo credit: Frida Lannerstrom, Unsplash
We all have one – that inner critic that spews forth endless criticism, judgment or disapproval about our efforts. It might lead with critical questions like “what were you thinking?” or self-blame like “what’s wrong with you?” or “you’re such a loser!” And since our thoughts hugely influence how we feel and behave, the inner critic’s negative self-talk can become downright destructive.
This critical inner voice was formed out of painful early life experiences where we saw or experienced hurtful attitudes toward us or others close to us. Over time, we unconsciously adopted and internalized this pattern of destructive self-criticism, allowing it to continue the internal monologue even when there is no need for it.
When we fail to separate from the inner critic, it can run rampant in our lives, creating conflict and sabotaging our success.
Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron has said, “If we want to make peace with ourselves and with the world at large, we have to look closely at the source of all of our wars.”
Both war and peace start within us. If we want peace in our lives and in the world, we need to learn how to stop this internal violence and abuse. We must learn how to proactively address our negative thoughts and develop a more productive dialog within.
Here are six steps to tame the inner critic:
1. Develop awareness of your thoughts. Awareness precedes change, and taming the inner critic is no exception. Become aware of the voice of your inner critic; recognize that it is merely an aspect of your psyche and not all that you are. We get so used to hearing our own narrations we can become oblivious as to their source. Pay attention to your inner narrative; recognize that just because the inner critic says something, doesn’t mean it’s true.
2. Allow yourself to observe the inner critic. Become aware of when your inner critic shows up, and what its negative messages are. Notice how its messages are often exaggerated, biased, and disproportionate. Its power to control you lies in its ability to operate unchallenged. Typically, the inner critic’s judgments and accusations may not be fully truth-based. Allow yourself to see this inner bully for what it is, so you can take appropriate action.
3. Examine the evidence. If you are thinking in terms of absolutes (“You’re never going to make it” or “nobody loves you”) ask yourself if that statement is true. Looking at evidence on both sides of the argument can help you look at the situation more rationally and less emotionally. The evidence of insight empowers, while the condemnation of the inner critic always tries to diminish.
4. Identify the truth. Ask yourself what advice you’d give to a friend struggling with self-criticism, failure or doubt. Now, give that same advice to yourself with kindness. If you’ve made a mistake, having a decent regret and resolving to learn from it, is usually enough – you don’t need to condemn yourself for life.
5. Replace overly critical thoughts with more accurate statements. When you find yourself thinking, “I never do anything right,” replace it with a balanced statement like, “Sometimes I do things really well and sometimes I don’t.” You are allowed to make mistakes! Each time you find yourself thinking an exaggerated negative thought, respond with a more accurate statement and move on; don’t ruminate on your mistakes.
6. Balance acceptance with self-improvement. There’s a difference between always telling yourself that you’re not good enough and reminding yourself that you can work at improving. When we resist our flaws, they persist. Instead, accept your flaws for what they are today, and commit to work on improving in these areas. Acknowledging your weaknesses for what they are today doesn’t mean you are doomed to stay that way. It simply reflects your baseline today, and you can use that information to strive toward becoming better. That way, you use the input from your inner critic to motivate you instead of to bully you.
Your inner dialogue with yourself is a critical part of your psyche. It will either fuel your success or prevent you from reaching your full potential. Taming your inner critic and silencing the excess negativity will empower you to live more effectively and to develop your full potential.
About the author
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Jul 17, 2023 | Body Mind Spirit, Emotional healing, Life skills, Mindfulness, Personal growth
Photo Credit: Naira Babayan, Unsplash
Life includes a range of emotions, some pleasant and others challenging. We often feel the urge to resist or suppress challenging emotions, but doing so intensifies them over time.
Instead, mindfulness offers us practical ways to transform challenging emotions and enjoy inner peace. By developing this valuable skill, you can navigate difficult emotions with grace and enjoy greater emotional balance. Here’s how:
Become Aware of Your Emotions
Becoming aware of our emotions is the first step in effectively managing them. Check in with yourself during the day and become aware of the emotions you are experiencing. Recognize when challenging emotions surface so you can address them promptly before they escalate.
Identify The Emotion
By naming an unpleasant emotion, you can work with it more effectively. Does it feel like anger, stress, fear, overwhelm or anxiety? When you zero in and name the emotion, it brings more clarity to the way you feel.
Observe, Accept, and Detach
Simply observe the emotion without resistance or suppression. Recognize emotion as a natural part of the range of human experience. As an impartial observer, you can watch the emotion without losing yourself in it.
Externalize the Emotion
To externalize the emotion, visualize it as a color, shape, or tangible object. When you do that, it becomes more manageable and less overwhelming. You could visualize anger as a fiery red sphere, anxiety as a swirling cloud, or sadness as a heavy weight.
Consider the Source of the Emotion
Take a moment to reflect on possible triggers or causes for the emotion’s emergence. Understanding the source of the emotion can give you insight into how to avoid it in the future. Are you angry because you are hungry? Did someone’s actions trigger memories of old trauma that needs healing? When you understand how an emotion was triggered, it empowers you to do something positive about it.
Remember the Emotion’s Transient Nature
Emotions are transient, similar to clouds passing through the sky. Through patient observation, you’ll notice the emotion gradually losing intensity and dissolving, just as clouds dissipate in sunlight. You are not your emotions; you are eternal consciousness observing these transient emotions.
Return to Balanced Breathing
After processing a difficult emotion, you can regain calmness by focusing on your breath. Take a few deep breaths, keeping count on the inhalation and exhaling for the same count. Let your breath serve as an anchor, bringing you back to the present moment and restoring your inner sense of equilibrium.
When you handle emotions this way, you’ll access your emotional intelligence and restore inner peace, no matter what arises. Even more importantly, you’ll embody the presence of higher consciousness in which all forms of life can evolve.
©Copyright Ada Porat. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached. Ada Porat is an energy kinesiologist & pastoral counselor with extensive international teaching & clinical experience. She uses body/mind/spirit techniques to help clients make optimal life choices. For more information, visit https://AdaPorat.com
by Ada Porat | Jun 15, 2023 | Conscious living, Life skills, Spirituality
Photo credit: Vitolda Klein, Unsplash
“Forgiveness is the demonstration that you are the light of the world. Through your forgiveness does the truth about your self return to your memory.” – Course in Miracles
We’ve all seen the power of forgiving someone else, yet many of us struggle with guilt, blame and the inability to forgive ourselves. Whether it’s feeling responsible for a death or something much simpler, if you can’t forgive yourself, you can’t move on.
For your own good, it is essential to start the healing process of forgiveness. You may struggle to forgive yourself for hurting others, or for being manipulative, or for mistreating yourself with negative self-talk or criticism. Whatever happened, healing can start where you’re at right now.
Choosing to not forgive is like wearing dark glasses that distort everything you see, especially your perception of others who don’t see life the same way. Unforgiveness is a dense and heavy burden that absolutely needs to be dealt with if you wish to experience the joys of life. Its circular dynamic can keep you stuck for life: when you can’t forgive yourself you’re unable to forgive others, and when you can’t forgive others, you’re unable to forgive yourself.
Choosing forgiveness changes everything. It lightens your emotional load and eases your path.
Sometimes forgiveness is withheld because we judge another as unworthy of it. However, to forgive has nothing to do with worthiness—yours or another’s. The issue is whether you wish to hold onto the heavy baggage of old grudges and perceived wrongs which will ultimately damage you. Research studies have shown the effectiveness of forgiveness to support the healing journey of patients with life-threatening illnesses.
Ultimately, practicing forgiveness is essential if you don’t want to be miserable for the rest of your life. You alone have the power to remove the roadblocks to living your best life and choosing to forgive is an important one. Here are five steps to help you master forgiveness:
- Reopen your heart and mind. When faced with terrible wrongs, betrayal or loss, it is natural for your heart and mind to slam shut in self-protection. Opening up again is essential for healing, and it can start with the simple choice: “I am willing to consider that there is another way forward.”
- Choose to love yourself, no matter what happened. Guilt is a catch-all emotion we use to cover everything negative or bad. It is a dense vortex that can pull us into the ultimate betrayal: that of abandoning ourselves. To heal, it is essential for us to love and embrace ourselves.
- Demystify your guilt. There is a common misconception that the depth of our grief, pain or guilt reflects the level of love we have for the person or situation we’ve lost. That misconception can keep us trapped in pseudo guilt, afraid to let go. It’s not a betrayal of your past love or loss to recognize the destructiveness of unprocessed guilt and to deal with it in a different way.
- Give yourself permission to heal. Part of forgiving yourself is understanding that you don’t need to be punished or to punish yourself for the past. Give yourself permission to let go of the past and its grief, loss, wrongdoing and pain. Only by healing our woundedness, can we offer pure love and blessing to others.
- Actively create new opportunities. If you’ve been unable to forgive yourself, you may have been holding yourself to unrealistic expectations or perfectionism. Healing comes when we forgive ourselves, learn from our experiences and get back into life to start again. Start with small steps and stay present to new opportunities instead of hearkening back to the past.
Because forgiveness is not an easy discipline to master, there have been many tools developed throughout history to assist in the process. Here are a few that you may find helpful:
Meditation and Reflection
Meditation and reflection bring us back to the present, from where we can let go of the past and own the present moment. This process of reflective self-awareness allows us to observe our feelings without resistance. This is the first step in the healing process. When first beginning to meditate, it can be helpful to commit for a period of, say, three months. During meditation, you can allow feelings to surface. When they do, simple breathe through the sensations, wherever they show up – and you will discover that you are not your feelings; your true nature is limitless consciousness observing the feelings.
Mantras and Affirmations
This practice helps to change habitual thought patterns. You can use a chant or mantra from a spiritual tradition, or you can create your own to repeat to yourself throughout each day. A simple example could be: “I forgive myself and everyone else.” This may feel awkward at first, but over time, it will start to shift entrenched thought patterns.
Journaling
Recording your thoughts in a journal can be a valuable way of releasing emotions. Journaling is a safe place to acknowledge different emotions, explore their causes, understand your responses and discover ways to eliminate triggers while focusing on more helpful emotions.
Making Amends
In twelve-step groups making amends is an important step in finding freedom and healing. True forgiveness comes from surrender to a Higher Power – whether you bring an offering of forgiveness, service or sacrifice for atonement. You can create your own amendment offering through philanthropy, activism, volunteerism or some other form of service that requires a gifting of your time, money or effort. You may not be able to make amends with someone who hurt you because they are no longer around, but you can pay it forward in service to others. The key is to consciously make that sacrifice in light of your desire for forgiveness.
©Copyright Ada Porat. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached. For more information, visit https://AdaPorat.com
by Ada Porat | Jan 16, 2023 | Conscious living, Cope with change, Life skills, Personal growth, Resilience
Photo Credit: Francesco, Unsplash
We all feel the enormous impact of irreversible change that has swept around the globe in recent years. None of us knows exactly how our lives will be different by the end of this decade; we simply know that it will be different in more ways we can imagine. We cannot go back to yesterday or the life we lived ten years ago. Life as we knew it, is over – there is no going back.
Yet even as we recognize that the past is irrevocably over, we feel the stirring of something new within, the inklings of a new way of life that can replace the old. This gentle shift within offers us an incredible opportunity to become positive change agents who create innovative pathways, tools and systems for a new way of life to emerge.
You and I are living on the cusp between the old and the new; we are the ones who get to choose and lean into a new way, creating a new world and a fresh start. The choices we make in each present moment are energizing the shifts to create a sustainable future for us all.
Exciting? Oh, yes! And a little scary? Of course!
These times of change and uncertainty are messy for sure. Many of us are grieving losses that have piled up in recent years: loved ones, work, friends, homes, health, life as we knew it, and more. We may even yearn for the “good old days” if ever there was such a thing.
There are no iron-clad guarantees and reassurances for this process involving the death and rebirth of our physical reality – and so everyone is learning to adapt and innovate.
And yet as Nature reminds us with each passing season, death is followed by rebirth in a continuous cycle of life.
Around us, the totality of life remains filled with untapped possibilities and probabilities. Every challenging circumstance contains the seeds of possibility for us to tap into and create more optimal outcomes from the inside out.
What do you wish to see in your world? How do you intend to participate to bring that about? It is indeed a time to dream big, to vision and be bold.
As we move forward on this bridge between the world we knew and the one we are creating, we need to travel light: we need to let go of things outside ourselves that we cannot control, so we can take charge of our inner reality, which is completely in our hands. We also need step into our individual and collective maturity to support wise choices. Let’s look at how to get from here to there.
During times of uncertainty, emotions can feel overwhelming. Daily events may trigger shock, grief, fear or anxiety. These emotions are to be expected, because we are awash in a sea change of unknown currents.
When our survival instincts are triggered, we can become defensive, reverting to basic survival tactics and protective measurements for a sense of security. However, defensiveness keeps us stuck in resistance and prevents us from moving forward.
To keep moving, it is important to remember who you really are: you’re not just an ego in a body suit, you are an eternal soul who came on this earth journey to participate in the evolving consciousness of all life at this time.
You are so much more than your physical being! There are more resources available to you at non-physical levels than you can imagine. Whenever you start to feel overwhelmed, stop for a moment and take inventory of your spiritual resources in the world of Cause, rather the limited results around you in the world of Effects.
Humans are blessed with innate creativity and innovation. Despite challenges – and perhaps even because of them – we can create effective pathways forward.
We simply need to let go of lower levels of consciousness from where the problems in our world were created. Clearly, the challenges of our time require more than the duality-based limitations of an outdated Cartesian world view. We are asked to embrace the myriad possibilities coexisting in the Field, because higher awareness and a larger scope are essential for creating optimal outcomes now.
These uncertain times invite us to return to right relationship with our innate Self. We’re learning what no longer works, what no longer nourishes us, and what we no longer tolerate. We’re recognizing what we truly want from life, so we can make better choices for ourselves and the greater good.
Humanity has outgrown the childlike stance where a few can dictate and make choices for the collective. As each one of us steps into maturity and takes full responsibility for our own decisions, it will ripple outward and create optimal collective outcomes.
No matter how bleak and uncertain things appear to you, don’t look back. Go beyond!
Reach beneath the surface defenses of reactivity and blame, to the Presence of Spirit at your core. That Presence contains all possibilities and potentialities.
Whenever you feel overwhelmed, take a moment to enter that inner space of peace and calm. Simply hold that space until clarity arises. In so doing, you open up to possibilities beyond linear thinking so you can make optimal choices.
Times of uncertainty also call for spiritual maturity. We’re asked to let go of waiting to be rescued, and to step onto the path as mature being, knowing that we are the very ones we’ve been waiting for. Spiritual maturity empowers us to leave behind the outdated, limiting roles assigned to us so we can co-create a better future.
Maturity gives us faith in unseen possibilities, so we can hold onto the intention for what can be. It asks us to look beyond the limitations of what was or is, so we can see and embrace new possibilities that show up now.
This is an invitation to become fearless! Do not allow obstacles on the surface of life to undermine your faith. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of what is not yet seen. Hold on to that and you will prevail.
We’re also need to travel light. It’s time to clear out old conditioning, to heal the memories of past wounds, and to let go of what’s no longer needed. By freeing ourselves from past hurt and limitations, we create more room for our lives to unfold.
Do not let others tell you what is appropriate for you. When you let others decide for you, you abdicate your power. Evaluate, contemplate within and choose for yourself.
Above all, embrace the process of individual growth, for it is your evolutionary lifeline. Let go of resistance and you will discover new possibilities emerging from the Truth within.
As mature beings, we learn to be at peace with not knowing. We embrace the ever-changing nature of life and take full responsibility for our individual choices along the way.
It is safe to trust in the benevolent plan of a loving Creator – and to trust yourself. Personal mastery requires you to trust yourself, trust the unseen hands that guide and uphold you, and to trust the Divine plan which may be invisible to the eye, yet is unfolding even now.
Maturity also teaches us to stay in the void of uncertainty and discomfort; to resist grabbing for some fake version of permanency or settle for some substance to numb our awareness. The security we want is within; it does not lie outside of us.
When borne of fear or resistance, compromise is not our friend. To evolve, we dare not let the familiarity of known limitations hold us back from the limitless possibilities we do not yet see. Resolve not to settle for the devil you know, but to push beyond.
Personal mastery shifts our focus away from external conditions beyond our control to our inner life over which we have ALL control. That is where we find the innate power, peace and creativity to creative a better world where everyone can thrive.
About the author
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://www.adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Jul 19, 2021 | Empowering changes, Life skills, Personal growth
Photo Credit: Rachel McDermott, Unsplash
Is there a difficult situation in your life that you’d like to turn around? Learning how to use the power of focused intention can turn things around and draw in amazing outcomes! Here is how:
The vibrational power of our words and intentions powerfully affects our experience of life. Research by the Institute of Noetic Science and others shows that all mental states are accompanied by vibration and each vibration attracts to it external conditions that resonate with its inherent frequency.
Japanese researcher Dr. Masaru Emoto took this information further by showing how water molecules respond to the emotions and intentions projected onto them. Both our positive and our negative emotions carry great power and can become enormously effective tools for change when we learn how to focus them wisely.
Every emotion, thought and word we engage with, sets into motion energy ripples that deliberately attract resonant outcomes to us from a field of infinite probabilities. In fact, everything that has been created, started with a thought: “I think I’ll plant a garden” or “I think I’ll go back to school.”
That thought acts like a blueprint; it creates an image of the intended form, which then through emotion attracts resonant energy to flow into that form until it eventually manifests on the physical plane.
When we focus on a thought with intention and visual imagery, we set into motion a laser beam of focused energy to attract the desired outcome. Top athletes often use intention, fueled by visualization and affirmation to focus their minds and improve their performance.
Some people tend to focus their attention on the outcomes they fear most in life: illness, loss of income, or the loss of security. Other focus their attention on the positive outcomes they desire in life: healthy relationships, joyful work, and so on. Both approaches work because thoughts become things. Wouldn’t it be so much better to focus on the thoughts that would bring us the intentions we desire? When we understand that thoughts become things, we become motivated to focus our intention on positive thoughts!
Does this mean that we should deny or resist the presence of the opposite outcomes we don’t want? Not at all! In this world of duality, polarity is necessary for us to exercise our freedom to choose. Denial is a Pollyanna-type process of bypassing reality.
There is no need to resist anything either; resistance actually pulls us away from our innate state of loving compassion and traps us in judgment. And as we’ve all experienced, whatever we resist, has a tendency to persist!
Instead of resisting what we don’t want, the pathway of true personal empowerment invites us to harness our intention into clear focus on the chosen outcome. In so doing, we set into motion the creative power of intention to bring about any change needed so there can be harmony between our intentions and our actual experience.
Intention is a powerful force for both healing and manifestation. The creative power of our intention ripples out around us to attract people, situations and synchronicities to actualize the desired outcome. Imagine using that powerful intention to attract clients that can benefit from your skills, friendships you are ready to enjoy, and opportunities where you can be of meaningful service. This principle can turn your life around!
Intentions need to be fine-tuned to increase the power of the process. If you don’t like the results you are getting, then refine your intentions to match exactly how you want the outcome to look. This dynamic process will ensure that the resulting experience matches your evolving thoughts, intentions and actions.
You are much more powerful than you know. Your thoughts, attitudes and beliefs have an immediate, scientifically provable, effect on your world. Because the body is electrical and each cell in the body has a positive and negative charge, you are continuously, magnetically charged with the energy vibrations of your thoughts.
Thoughts ultimately magnetize a resonant energy field around us. We can tap into this power consciously. Instead of existing in a frequency of fear, lack and limitation, you can interrupt habitual, negative thinking with, “How would I prefer things to be?” or “What would be a better way to respond?”
With practice we can strengthen the power of intention as well. By identifying and releasing blockages that keep you stuck in limited thinking, you can choose to focus your intention on more appropriate thoughts positively creative ways to attract optimal outcomes.
Intention is a powerful tool that lets you consciously focus your mind on the outcomes you choose, rather than the ones you fear. Life will respond in turn, creating the outcomes you intentionally focus on as you harness the power of your intention for positive unfoldment.
©Copyright Ada Porat. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached. Ada Porat is an energy kinesiologist & spiritual counselor with extensive international teaching & clinical experience. She uses body/mind/spirit techniques to help clients make optimal life choices. For more information, visit https://AdaPorat.com
