by Ada Porat | Aug 19, 2024 | Conscious living, Cope with change, Empowering changes, Fear and anxiety, Life transitions, Mindfulness, Peace, Spirituality
Photo by Vyacheslav Shatskiy on Unsplash
Are you feeling strained, bombarded by paradox and mixed messages everywhere you turn? You’re not alone!
More than ever, the boundaries between light and shadow have become blurred. What is true and what is not? What should we choose and what decline? Welcome to the challenge of finding balance between paradoxical paradigms!
We have the capacity to navigate through this time, but we must learn how to do so effectively. Our future depends on it!
To thrive in a world awash with paradox, we need discernment to determine what is appropriate for us, because the solutions for loved ones or friends may not be optimal for us. We need to master how to cherry-pick optimal choices for each of us individually, even when the majority leans in a different direction.
Truth can be fluid, twisted, and modified. It looks different from different levels of consciousness, and so the truth for each of us is about what is appropriate for you or me at our individual place in consciousness; what is harmonious with our individual levels of learning and understanding right now.
There is no need to fear the confusing paradoxes and anomalies around us. Each one of us is continuously connected to our souls and beyond that, to the Creator energy that sustains and protects us. Whenever we consciously take in information, that Creator energy within empowers us to transmute what is not helpful, and to embrace what is.
Thriving in the paradoxical paradigm requires us to evolve into higher levels of being by leaning into our spiritual identity. It requires us to step out of the limiting box of group-think and tribal alliances. We make optimal choices when we bypass the ego noise and choose from our hearts. And so, we need to become inner-directed, self-regulating beings who receive our guidance and discernment from within to lead and keep us safe. We must funnel information through the true filter of our hearts to determine what is appropriate for each of us individually, and to select what resonates with our unique energy field.
The potential for spiritual evolution for everyone on the planet is enormous at this time. As cosmic radiation and photon light penetrate planet Earth traveling through the photon belt, everything is speeding up and evolving faster. We can tap into that energy by strengthening our heart connection with Spirit, evolving our consciousness and staying present with each moment. The path of spiritual evolution requires good spiritual hygiene – the ability to steer clear of traps and to nourish ourselves appropriately. Here are some thoughts on how to apply it in different areas of life.
Filter exposure
It is important to pay attention to the external environments we expose ourselves to. When we take back our power from externalized loci of control, we become self-regulating, empowered beings who navigate without fear. Technology is not our boss; it is merely a tool that can be used in service to our truth and level of consciousness.
Navigate from the heart
Navigation from the heart is the way forward. It will draw to us not only what is necessary for our individual journeys, but it will also guide us to higher levels of awareness and empowerment. This connection asks us to step away from outer chaos and to connect to the Source of truth within. It transforms us into inner-directed, self-regulating beings.Our heart connection is a powerful, sacred tool. Each one of us has the ability to focus inward and to access the wisdom within to guide us on our sacred journey of individuation. We’ve been given the freedom to choose; so let’s choose wisely. This inner wisdom is not to be squandered on defending our ego stance or judging others; it is a sacred tool to help us transform our choices, outlook and being.
Support your physical vehicle
Likewise, our physical bodies need optimal support to thrive. We may need to take our power back from substances or limiting habits that do not serve us. True power is not found in external substances, but in the limitless consciousness that we are, manifest in human form. Our bodies are uniquely resilient and calibrated to keep us safe. To function best, our bodies need to be guided by higher consciousness, aligned to our inner life Source and nourished with respect. When aligned this way, the body will find optimal ways to create the reality we focus on.
Mind your mind
Our thoughts become things, so let’s choose wisely. To let our light shine more brightly, we must maintain our balance within an ever-expanding universe, and replace judgment with curiosity. We can become curious about possibilities instead, and embrace that which brings peace, harmony and joy. This is a time to avoid the temptation to vilify, judge or criticize ourselves or others, for it serves no positive purpose. Instead, we need to catch ourselves when defaulting into old habits and bring back our focus to this present moment, where all possibilities exist. Over time, we will become what we focus on. That is why it is so important to discipline our minds and focus on things that are congruent with our level of consciousness and understanding – our survival and thriving absolutely depend on that.
Grow into maturity
Navigating these times calls for discipline and maturity as well. It takes commitment, repetition and discipline to bring our minds into alignment and keep focusing on our inner truth. Distractions are everywhere! Learning to manage our individual consciousness with maturity and self-discipline, is essential if we wish to effectively navigate the brave new world emerging around us. This is a core truth that needs to be practiced by everyone who wants to thrive in the coming years.
Choose where to focus
We also need to wield the power of focus effectively. We are on the cusp between two very different paradigms, the old and the new. Even as the old paradigm is being laid bare and seen for its limitations, new options are emerging. There is no need to continue entangling with the old, whether through judgment or resistance. It is helpful to remember that whenever we resist or fight something, we’re actually entangling our own energy with that field. And what we resist, persists! We need not obsess with destroying the old; the power of our aligned intention will simply continue to expand what we focus on, allowing old, abandoned constructs to shrivel up and die. Whatever we focus on, grows; whatever we withdraw our Life Force from, will drop away. Disciplined focus also banishes all fear. When our inner truth filter guides us, we become fearless. We can embrace the future, the new and the unknown without anxiety. We stand strong and navigate with confidence, because we filter, choose and navigate from the heart.
Align with true Power
The more we tap into the power of our alignment with the Life Force, the more effectively we’re able to focus that creative force in us on what we desire, align with and are harmonious with. As each of us, at our unique levels of consciousness, embrace this practice of alignment and discipline our focus to embrace what is desired now, the rich tapestry of our emergent world will thrive. The more aligned we are, the more access we have to channel our Higher wisdom and discernment. Over time, it brings mastery. Collectively and individually, this is how we create new habits, new structures and a new world.
Answer the call
We are called to become lighthouses for consciousness. The more light – representing higher levels of consciousness – we hold in our intentions, the quicker the old will drop away so the new can emerge. During times of external conflict and confusion, let’s choose to marinate our hearts in loving kindness and truth. Let’s sterilize all negativity as we breathe in peace, and breathe out all conflict, dissonance and pain. Let’s release what no longer serves, so we can remain perfectly aligned with our unfolding potential. We are the co-creators of our emerging new reality, so let’s stand in truth and trust the wisdom that guides us!
About the Author
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | May 14, 2024 | Conscious living, Empowering changes, Joy, Life transitions, Spirituality
Photo Credit: Maria Cappelli, Unsplash
At any time, you are free to leave this experience called suffering. You already have a Get Out Of Jail pass.
The key that unlocks the door to freedom is found by learning how to surrender to Source. And true surrender means you let go: you release all your limiting beliefs, judgments and ideas about who you think you are. And then, you release your attachment to those limitations so you can move beyond them.
Surrender is often misinterpreted as weakness, capitulation or quitting – but it comes from inner strength, knowing you are more than the limitations you face. You can move through any stuck, painful or limiting feeling by dropping into a state of pure surrender.
At any given moment in time, you are either choosing the path of ego or the path of surrender. When you choose surrender, you open the doorway to a deep connective experience within your being. You are finding alignment to Source. This is the way of flow, a profound state of being that is always available, yet requires the release of resistance and attachment.
When you surrender, you’re set free to enter a profound state of inner peace where you can fully experience the essence of Divinity at your core. You’re able to align with and act from this Source of wisdom within.
Yes! Surrender allows you to relax about everything. It allows you to remember that everything you seek, is somehow already, always deep within you. Truth is within, peace is within, and so are the solutions you seek.
Maintaining this state of true alignment takes vigilance. Whenever you notice the mind latching on to some thought, just let it go. Thinking is simply what the mind does, and it has no power over your inner peace unless you allow yourself to engage with it. Instead, visualize your consciousness as the expansive sky, and let the temporary clouds of thought and worry simply move through your field, dissipating as they go. You are not your thoughts; you are that which is aware of them. As you learn to make this important distinction, it becomes easier to flow with the Source of all possibilities instead of getting stuck in ego thoughts.
Surrendering attachment to the relentless mental chatter offers incredible inner freedom. Imagine not having to worry endlessly about what might happen, what could unfold, or how things could go wrong. Think how free you would be if you did not feel the need to control everything in your life! Imagine even letting go of the endless craving thoughts of “If only…” or “If I could just…” These mindless thought loops serve no purpose other than serving the ego.
Instead of feeding the ego’s need for self-importance, you can choose to simply surrender everything to Source. Let the Creator energy handle the details for you. Accept that this very moment of life, no matter how good or how bad, is exactly as it is meant to be.
When you drop your attachments, resistance and beliefs about how things “should” be, and simply accept what is, you find inner peace. Instead of spending your energy in futile mental chatter to fight what shows up in your life, you can ask more helpful questions: “How could this be helpful to my journey as a soul,” or “What do I need to learn from this?”
That will turbocharge your journey of personal growth! And it is a simple process everyone can master.
Have you been conditioned to think it takes years of struggle, emotional pain and personal suffering to break free? That, too, is a limiting belief. It will be as difficult and take as long as you believe it to! What if your life is meant to be much easier and simpler than you’ve made it out to be? You can change any negative or limiting attitude around completely in a few minutes by deeply surrendering.
As the Sedona Method teaches: Embrace that which you resist, and surrender that to which you cling. It really is that simple, and yet it requires a heart-based desire for freedom, not simply wishful thinking. Surrender to Source that to which you cling: all limitation, victim consciousness, resentment, judgment, ego justification, and doubt; then simply ask for Higher truth to be revealed so you can align with that.
When your heart’s desire is to be aligned with Source, you will be guided from within by the highest intelligence, love and power. The more you become aware of and align to this benevolent Source, the more it will reveal to you the divine Presence inherent in all of life and guide you to greater inner freedom. What joy! What peace! Regardless of outer circumstances!
Every time you surrender to Source a little more, you create space for more Presence in your life. That Presence is joyful, peaceful, abundant and harmonious. You can breathe it in and relax. As twelve-step groups put it: “Let go and let God.” You can relax into the assurance that whatever it is you are seeking, is already, always within you. The Presence of Source is always here, and letting go of old conditioning allows you to experience that loving Presence more fully.
Fighting and warring are limiting concepts of duality consciousness. You never have to fight your way through life. The opportunity is always here for you to surrender to Source and flow with unfolding potentialities around you. You can give up the inner battle of resistance and surrender your problems or hardened positions to Source. Remember, these situations are really opportunities in disguise, inviting you to let your ego dissolve into the Presence of Source.
There’s no rule that says you must continue suffering, holding onto the same old issues another day. Right now, there’s a new awareness arising inside you. It is the awareness of a higher Presence, and it becomes even more powerful when you surrender to its loving embrace!
You can explore a different kind of life beyond the endless conditions of “have to,” “need to,” and “should” that you’ve been drowning in. Truth is, you are an infinite ocean of consciousness, an immortal soul who knows no boundary or limitation. Surrender to that higher understanding so you can enjoy the journey home to Oneness.
How will you know when you’re truly free from the tyranny of your ego-controlled mind? Everything you take on will feel as light as a feather. Every challenging situation or person will offer you an exciting opportunity to become a more loving, compassionate and enlightened being. You will no longer nurse your grudges or seek ego justification from outside sources. Each time you are challenged, you’ll further open the doorway of your heart to love, inner peace, abundance and freedom.
The moment you surrender to the benevolent Source of all life, you’ll experience a lighter state of consciousness. The invitation is open right now, in this and each present moment. You can be liberated from the painful dramas of the mind to experience joy and healing. You can choose freedom!
Your life is a sacred gift, offering you the opportunity to awaken, grow and transform into an ever-truer reflection of Source. The potential already exists within you: choose freedom through surrender and you will find the answers to all life’s gnarly problems. The power is within you, so you can choose inner freedom now!
©Copyright Ada Porat. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached. For more information, visit https://AdaPorat.com
by Ada Porat | Mar 20, 2024 | Conscious living, Cope with change, Empowering changes, Life transitions, Personal growth, Spirituality
Photo credit: Max LaRochelle, Unsplash
These are tumultuous times, and the winds of change sweeping across the planet continue to bring more volatility. Everything—yes, every area of life— is being ramped up so at times it can be difficult to manage it all: the energies, the events, the people. And yet, there is also a fecundity to it, offering multiple opportunities and support for creativity and personal transformation. It all depends on where we focus our attention as individuals.
The outer turbulence has also dredged up and exposed our collective shadow for all the world to see: all the deeply held fears, prejudices, judgments, resentments, and limiting beliefs that have led to corruption and abuse, sabotage and subjugation of humanity for millennia. These shadow aspects, when faced and healed, bring renewal. When denied and resisted, they perpetuate suffering. We can and must choose our response as part of a massive, multi-decade transformation of humanity.
Both as individuals and as a collective, it is time to ask ourselves, “How’s that working out for you? Are you living up to your highest potential?” We have big choices to make about who we are and want to be.
For those who do not yet understand the bigger picture, the tumult can result in existential terror as they fear the loss of old forms of security. When the shadow is exposed, former heroes are seen as having clay feet. We’re learning that our leaders and heroes can’t or won’t fix things, so bringing about meaningful change is up to each one of us.
This does not need to be a time of despair. Despite the external challenges we face, there are plenty of actions you can take to stay focused, balanced and at peace on your path.
Unplug and Let Go
Immersing oneself in media coverage as all the drama and distraction play out, is not helpful – it simply perpetuates the emotional roller coaster. Instead, we can exercise our autonomy by detaching and letting go of the collective brainwashing.
It is helpful to remember that all media outlets have their own agenda and bias. They know that sensationalism, catastrophizing and fearmongering pull in viewers and boost ratings. Their use of subliminal seduction creates media addicts who become hooked on the adrenaline rush. Anything that creates fear, pessimism, or despair is best turned off!
Replace these dense energies with better support so you can keep your mind at peace and stay centered in your heart. Creativity, connection with others, dancing, singing, laughing and finding joy in simple things serve us much better. Continually choose love and inner harmony over fear; lean into compassion and kindness rather than judgment.
Cultivate Self-Awareness and Inner Peace
When the outer world is in chaos, the most important place to go is within. Find the calm center in the storm and return there often. Invest less emotional energy in external events outside your control and pay more attention to things you can help change for the better. Where can you offer forgiveness or support to others? Take actions that have an impact. Helping others feeds the soul and lifts our vibration.
We heal our world one person at a time, starting with ourselves. It requires emotional detachment and self-awareness to release our expectations and the illusion of control. As we do this work, we are letting go of what no longer serves so we can consciously work with the Universe and each other. Now is the time to release our inner resistance so we can embrace the gifts that change offers us.
Master Discernment
Discernment is an essential skill that each of us needs to master so we can align with truth and understand the deeper meaning of life.
When we lack discernment, we are vulnerable to false promises from fake messiahs. We may get lured into false promises of security, fanaticism or forms of self-destructive behavior.
Cultivating discernment enables us to recognize truth and to access optimal guidance. During this transitional time, artificial intelligence and sophisticated deep fakes make it more difficult to discern what is real. Likewise, dense emotions of fear, anger and anxiety can function as a type of psychic interference that makes it more difficult to access our inner truth.
It is also important to discern the true nature of people we interact with by paying attention to their actions, rather than their rhetoric. Give it the heart check: Is the person spreading kindness and unity or polarizing others by spreading anger and fear? Always choose love as your baseline and watch what others choose. This way, you will know how to respond without giving your power away.
Regardless of outer circumstance, there is profound support for every effort we make to go within and find answers and truth. We can use this support to do our own work of transformation so we can be empowered to support larger waves of transformation around the planet.
Live in Integrity
The energetic environment around us at this time asks us to return to integrity: living in a way that is whole and integrated, cohesive, and internally and externally consistent. It calls for us to purify our thoughts and actions, and to bring our lives into alignment with truth so that we can become resilient. Anything that is out of integrity—people, relationships, groups or organizations—will continue to break down to make space for higher levels of being to emerge.
Internal consistency is crucial during this process. It is very helpful to check and establish consistency within yourself: between your thoughts and emotions; your inner principles and your outer actions. If we claim to be spiritual and loving while hating those who don’t believe as we do, we are not in integrity. We cannot claim peace while bullying, criticizing or raging against others. These discrepancies in our values are not sustainable if we wish to evolve. The great growing-up of humanity at this time requires us to become more self-responsible, authentic and integrated in all aspects of our lives.
Life is What You Make It – Make it Full of Love
Remember that the past, the present and the future — all of life — is not about what happens to you, but what you make of it. Everything we need, and all the solutions we seek already lie within us.
You can make your life flow easier by always focusing on what you choose to happen, rather than what you fear might happen or don’t want. Your attention is a powerful laser of Creator energy, so be careful where you point it! Whatever you focus attention on, will grow.
Always remember that worry and guilt are useless energy drains. They don’t help create anything beneficial, because they add fuel to what you don’t want.
During this time, it is helpful to remember the admonition of the Hopi elders who told us to let go of expectations and the illusion of control. Surrender the old forms of security to which you still cling and embrace the unknown journey you’ve been resisting. Simply accept what is, and know that all is well in the Master plan. We’re all on this journey together, and it could turn out to be the most magnificent one ever!
©Copyright Ada Porat. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached. For more information, visit https://AdaPorat.com
by Ada Porat | Sep 20, 2023 | Conscious living, Cope with change, Empowering changes, Spirituality
Photo by Satyabratasm on Unsplash
Have you noticed how casual conversation has turned into a minefield of potential conflict? Our world has become so polarized in recent years that if often feels as if society is unraveling at the seams. What is contributing to this phenomenon and what can we do about it?
When we exclude, we lose
Lack of inclusivity fosters division, exclusion and, ultimately, persecution. This applies to family systems as well as to larger groups. We see this happening all over, from individual social settings to larger government policies.
Exclusion stems from a misguided survival mechanism – the egoic need to obliterate other viewpoints so we can feel secure. It operates on limited information and often rejects truth in favor of the deeper ego need to control. Over time, such limitations fuel victimizing and fragmentation, both at an individual level and beyond. It divides us instead of bringing us together around our common human values.
Exclusion creates social unraveling on steroids! We do not need more separation, but Higher intelligence to unite humanity around our common goals and needs.
The healing power of Higher intelligence
Higher intelligence does not seek to divide and conquer through fragmentation or transhumanism. Rather, it seeks to fully inhabit and transform human nature from within by serving a transcendent Power greater than our rigid, limited ego. Higher intelligence honors the wisdom of our common Divine Source and the eternal nature of our souls.
Healing for our world starts by remembering this common Source. When given its rightful place in the circle of life, this transcendent Power can gather humans from across the spectrum of diversity to unite around our common needs and values. Returning to Source is our first step toward mutual forgiveness and unification. It allows us to return to our inner compass.
Evolve or devolve: it’s our choice
Humanity has evolved this far not by compromising to meet the demands of every loud voice, but by honoring Higher principles. When we abandon our inner compass and water down Higher Truth, we surrender to the insatiable needs of egos gone amuck… and we devolve. Evolution requires us to stay aligned to Higher Truth and live by the Golden Rule: doing unto others as we would have them do to us. No-one is exempt.
We ignore the Golden Rule at our own peril. When we insist on being treated as special or more deserving than others, we reject the inherent wholeness that underlies all. The ego need for specialness blinds our perception to other views and leads to further fragmentation. When we dismiss facts and blindly cling to our limiting beliefs, we soon drift toward partial truths, twisted thinking and evil. There is a steep price to pay for this selective perception: By settling for lesser evil, everyone loses because choosing lesser evil ultimately further empowers evil.
Transcending our differences
How do we break free from this collective trance? We cannot free ourselves or wake others up by attacking other views – such a dualistic approach simply reinforces the desire to dig in and cling more to entrenched beliefs. We need to transcend opposing views to find workable solutions that benefit the whole.
Transcending our differences starts by finding the common ground that unites us. When we acknowledge our mutual need for solutions, we can build bridges of harmonious cooperation between ourselves and others. Working from our common core, we can find solutions that transcend duality-based viewpoints. This is known as the third way – a path that supersedes the entrenched viewpoints of self and other.
Living by the third way
Einstein understood this principle when he said that problems cannot be solved with from same level of thinking from where we created them. This third way is the path of higher consciousness which transcends the limited duality of ego. When we recognize one another as diverse expressions of the One Creator, we can overcome differences and work toward unifying goals that benefit the common good.
Ignoring Higher Law is not an option if we wish to survive and evolve. When we turn away from Truth, we lose our connection to Higher intelligence and get mired in the dualistic battle between egos. We feed our own egos on junk by judging others as bad or less than us – and by doing so, we ultimately turn into the very things we judge or despise.
Two sides of the same coin
Judgment and hatred of others tie us to the problem and make it impossible to find win-win solutions.
We see this dynamic playing out around us every day. Liberals call for freedoms by stressing the differences between groups, genders or color – and it ultimately becomes oppressive of anyone who does not fit into one of these limiting boxes. Likewise, conservatives reject liberal labels and fixate on the ‘liberal evil,’ oblivious of the evil in their own hatred of the other. In the end, opposing groups of all kinds are united in their common judgment and hatred which further fragments, divides and imprisons them duality. There is no unity to be found.
Even activism derived from ego does not have the capacity to bridge the divide among groups because ego always seeks primacy of the self. Dualistic activism is blinded to Higher Truth: it merely fuels further polarization no matter how well-intended. Instead of rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, we may find ourselves weaponizing and throwing them at others.
Where is the Golden Rule in that? It gets trampled by egos on steroids! What is needed to bridge the chasm, is greater commitment to find the common threads that unite us as humanity and then to take appropriate collective action that benefits the whole.
The battle for our minds
The true battle we are engaged in now is not waged on the battlefields of the world, but in the inner terrain of our minds. When we fail to discern the source behind messages we are bombarded with, we easily capitulate to propaganda. Likewise, we lock ourselves into the limitations of duality-consciousness whenever we blindly oppose other viewpoints. Every time we are too lazy to do our own independent research and instead capitulate to a steady stream of misinformation and propaganda, we get more brainwashed ourselves. Gradually, we lose our connection to Higher Truth and to our common humanity; we become fragmented by superficial divisions designed to splinter the fabric of our society. And we become part of the problem.
Finding solutions within
And yet, there are solutions to every problem. We find optimal solutions whenever we no longer blame, shame and marginalize others. The solutions needed in our world cannot be found in ego structures such as politics, institutional education or religion. They need to be rediscovered within, starting with the common ground shared by all humanity. We need to individually and collectively bow to the Higher Truth that resides in each of us. Only then can we grow into our full potential.
The spirituality of the future
Our human vessels contain the sacred potential of each soul that yearns for healing to begin. Instead of dividing and hating our fellow humans, our souls gently nudge us to come together and heal: forgiving ourselves for our individual blindness to Truth, and then extending that same compassionate forgiveness to others. We need to walk with eyes wide open to see beyond the façade and find potential for good in every situation. We must relentlessly search out and eliminate every virus of fear that hovers in our minds, seeking to hijack our thinking. As we stabilize our being in Eternal Truth, it will expose all lies masquerading as information. When we return to our sacred center and transcend the ego-made, politically inflamed divisions in society, we can gather around the sacred fire of the heart to heal and unite.
Each one of us is on this planet to learn and grow. We came here for this time of crisis, which also holds the potential for evolutionary growth. If we choose to navigate by marginalizing and destroying others and other life forms, we will devolve and potentially self-destruct. Evolution and survival require us to grow up as a species and as individuals: taking responsibility for our actions and making space for diversity in the circle of life.
You and I can start right here, right now by choosing not to feed the hateful path of separation but to embrace the path that nurtures, forgives and unites. The spirituality of our future requires that we release the grip of ego so we can walk our talk, living by the principles of Higher Law. That is true freedom and joy!
About the author
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Jun 15, 2023 | Conscious living, Life skills, Spirituality
Photo credit: Vitolda Klein, Unsplash
“Forgiveness is the demonstration that you are the light of the world. Through your forgiveness does the truth about your self return to your memory.” – Course in Miracles
We’ve all seen the power of forgiving someone else, yet many of us struggle with guilt, blame and the inability to forgive ourselves. Whether it’s feeling responsible for a death or something much simpler, if you can’t forgive yourself, you can’t move on.
For your own good, it is essential to start the healing process of forgiveness. You may struggle to forgive yourself for hurting others, or for being manipulative, or for mistreating yourself with negative self-talk or criticism. Whatever happened, healing can start where you’re at right now.
Choosing to not forgive is like wearing dark glasses that distort everything you see, especially your perception of others who don’t see life the same way. Unforgiveness is a dense and heavy burden that absolutely needs to be dealt with if you wish to experience the joys of life. Its circular dynamic can keep you stuck for life: when you can’t forgive yourself you’re unable to forgive others, and when you can’t forgive others, you’re unable to forgive yourself.
Choosing forgiveness changes everything. It lightens your emotional load and eases your path.
Sometimes forgiveness is withheld because we judge another as unworthy of it. However, to forgive has nothing to do with worthiness—yours or another’s. The issue is whether you wish to hold onto the heavy baggage of old grudges and perceived wrongs which will ultimately damage you. Research studies have shown the effectiveness of forgiveness to support the healing journey of patients with life-threatening illnesses.
Ultimately, practicing forgiveness is essential if you don’t want to be miserable for the rest of your life. You alone have the power to remove the roadblocks to living your best life and choosing to forgive is an important one. Here are five steps to help you master forgiveness:
- Reopen your heart and mind. When faced with terrible wrongs, betrayal or loss, it is natural for your heart and mind to slam shut in self-protection. Opening up again is essential for healing, and it can start with the simple choice: “I am willing to consider that there is another way forward.”
- Choose to love yourself, no matter what happened. Guilt is a catch-all emotion we use to cover everything negative or bad. It is a dense vortex that can pull us into the ultimate betrayal: that of abandoning ourselves. To heal, it is essential for us to love and embrace ourselves.
- Demystify your guilt. There is a common misconception that the depth of our grief, pain or guilt reflects the level of love we have for the person or situation we’ve lost. That misconception can keep us trapped in pseudo guilt, afraid to let go. It’s not a betrayal of your past love or loss to recognize the destructiveness of unprocessed guilt and to deal with it in a different way.
- Give yourself permission to heal. Part of forgiving yourself is understanding that you don’t need to be punished or to punish yourself for the past. Give yourself permission to let go of the past and its grief, loss, wrongdoing and pain. Only by healing our woundedness, can we offer pure love and blessing to others.
- Actively create new opportunities. If you’ve been unable to forgive yourself, you may have been holding yourself to unrealistic expectations or perfectionism. Healing comes when we forgive ourselves, learn from our experiences and get back into life to start again. Start with small steps and stay present to new opportunities instead of hearkening back to the past.
Because forgiveness is not an easy discipline to master, there have been many tools developed throughout history to assist in the process. Here are a few that you may find helpful:
Meditation and Reflection
Meditation and reflection bring us back to the present, from where we can let go of the past and own the present moment. This process of reflective self-awareness allows us to observe our feelings without resistance. This is the first step in the healing process. When first beginning to meditate, it can be helpful to commit for a period of, say, three months. During meditation, you can allow feelings to surface. When they do, simple breathe through the sensations, wherever they show up – and you will discover that you are not your feelings; your true nature is limitless consciousness observing the feelings.
Mantras and Affirmations
This practice helps to change habitual thought patterns. You can use a chant or mantra from a spiritual tradition, or you can create your own to repeat to yourself throughout each day. A simple example could be: “I forgive myself and everyone else.” This may feel awkward at first, but over time, it will start to shift entrenched thought patterns.
Journaling
Recording your thoughts in a journal can be a valuable way of releasing emotions. Journaling is a safe place to acknowledge different emotions, explore their causes, understand your responses and discover ways to eliminate triggers while focusing on more helpful emotions.
Making Amends
In twelve-step groups making amends is an important step in finding freedom and healing. True forgiveness comes from surrender to a Higher Power – whether you bring an offering of forgiveness, service or sacrifice for atonement. You can create your own amendment offering through philanthropy, activism, volunteerism or some other form of service that requires a gifting of your time, money or effort. You may not be able to make amends with someone who hurt you because they are no longer around, but you can pay it forward in service to others. The key is to consciously make that sacrifice in light of your desire for forgiveness.
©Copyright Ada Porat. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached. For more information, visit https://AdaPorat.com
by Ada Porat | May 29, 2023 | Conscious living, Life Balance
Photo Credit: Katrina Berban, Unsplash
“Play is the only way the highest intelligence of humankind can unfold.” – Joseph Chilton Pearce
Recently, I attended a conference where the speaker asked participants: “Are you fun to live with?” She then explained that if you don’t value the importance of play and having fun in your life, you will most likely not be fun to live with. That sure got my attention!
Western society tends to dismiss play for adults. Play is perceived as unproductive, a waste of time or even a guilty indulgence. As adults, we’re supposed to be serious. And with responsibilities piling on endlessly, we may think there’s simply no time to play.
Yet, play is just as pivotal for adults as it is for kids.
In English, the word “play” represents the opposite of “work.” But this definition is misleading. As psychiatrist Brian Sutton-Smith puts it: “The opposite of play is not work, it’s depression.” Dr. Smith began studying the role of play in brain development after discovering the impact of no play on the brain development of homicidal young men. He found that play of any kind is essential to brain development.
Play is not just essential for kids; it is an important source of relaxation and stimulation for adults as well. Playing with your partner, friends, co-workers, children and pets fuels your imagination, creativity, problem-solving abilities, and emotional well-being.
Simply put, play brings joy.
Adult play is a time to forget about responsibilities and get social in an unstructured, creative way. When you play, you focus on an experience, not on accomplishing a goal. There need be no purpose to the activity beyond having fun and enjoying yourself. Play could be goofing off with friends, sharing jokes with a coworker, throwing a Frisbee with your kids, playing fetch with a dog or going for a bike ride.
By giving yourself permission to play with the joyful abandon of childhood, you can reap oodles of health benefits. Here are just a few:
Play refreshes you. When you take a break from mentally challenging tasks to play for a few minutes, you release built-up tension and allow your brain circuitry to rebalance. These brief diversions refresh your mind and body, renew your focus and prevent burnout. It can also help you to view problems in new ways, so you can find optimal solutions.
Play relieves stress. Play is fun and triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even relieve pain.
Play improves brain function. Playing chess, completing puzzles, or pursuing other fun activities that challenge the brain can improve brain function and help prevent memory problems. The social interaction of playing with family and friends can also release stress and ward off depression.
It keeps you feeling young and energetic. In the words of George Bernard Shaw, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” Playing boosts your energy and vitality and can even improve your resistance to disease.
Play is good for your heart. Physical play is a great way to trick yourself into becoming more active—a habit that benefits your heart. Just walking the dog burns 230 calories per hour, and a leisurely bike ride burns over 420.
Play stimulates your mind and boosts creativity. You learn a new task better when it’s fun and you are in a relaxed and playful mood. Play also stimulates your imagination, helping you adapt and problem solve better.
It helps heal emotional wounds. Studies have shown that when an emotionally upset individual plays with a partner who feels more stable, it can help replace negative beliefs and behaviors with positive awareness and action.
Play improves relationships and connection to others. Sharing laughter and fun fosters empathy, compassion, trust and intimacy with others. Play doesn’t have to be a specific activity; it can also be a state of mind. Developing a playful nature can help you loosen up in stressful situations, break the ice with strangers, make new friends, and form new business relationships.
It develops and improves social skills. During childhood play, kids learn about verbal communication, body language, boundaries, cooperation, and teamwork. As adults, we continue to refine these skills through play and playful communication.
Play improves interpersonal cooperation. Play is a powerful catalyst for positive socialization. Through play, we learn how to work together, follow mutually agreed upon rules, and socialize in groups. We can also use play to break down barriers and improve relationships with others.
Still thinking that you are too busy to play? Given all these benefits, perhaps it is time to decide that you are too busy NOT to play! Your body, mind and emotions need the benefits of play.
Schedule your play activities like any other commitment. It is that important. Perhaps now would be a good time to schedule that much needed vacation. You’ll be better off for having played more!
About the author
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
