by Ada Porat | Jun 15, 2023 | Conscious living, Life skills, Spirituality
Photo credit: Vitolda Klein, Unsplash
“Forgiveness is the demonstration that you are the light of the world. Through your forgiveness does the truth about your self return to your memory.” – Course in Miracles
We’ve all seen the power of forgiving someone else, yet many of us struggle with guilt, blame and the inability to forgive ourselves. Whether it’s feeling responsible for a death or something much simpler, if you can’t forgive yourself, you can’t move on.
For your own good, it is essential to start the healing process of forgiveness. You may struggle to forgive yourself for hurting others, or for being manipulative, or for mistreating yourself with negative self-talk or criticism. Whatever happened, healing can start where you’re at right now.
Choosing to not forgive is like wearing dark glasses that distort everything you see, especially your perception of others who don’t see life the same way. Unforgiveness is a dense and heavy burden that absolutely needs to be dealt with if you wish to experience the joys of life. Its circular dynamic can keep you stuck for life: when you can’t forgive yourself you’re unable to forgive others, and when you can’t forgive others, you’re unable to forgive yourself.
Choosing forgiveness changes everything. It lightens your emotional load and eases your path.
Sometimes forgiveness is withheld because we judge another as unworthy of it. However, to forgive has nothing to do with worthiness—yours or another’s. The issue is whether you wish to hold onto the heavy baggage of old grudges and perceived wrongs which will ultimately damage you. Research studies have shown the effectiveness of forgiveness to support the healing journey of patients with life-threatening illnesses.
Ultimately, practicing forgiveness is essential if you don’t want to be miserable for the rest of your life. You alone have the power to remove the roadblocks to living your best life and choosing to forgive is an important one. Here are five steps to help you master forgiveness:
- Reopen your heart and mind. When faced with terrible wrongs, betrayal or loss, it is natural for your heart and mind to slam shut in self-protection. Opening up again is essential for healing, and it can start with the simple choice: “I am willing to consider that there is another way forward.”
- Choose to love yourself, no matter what happened. Guilt is a catch-all emotion we use to cover everything negative or bad. It is a dense vortex that can pull us into the ultimate betrayal: that of abandoning ourselves. To heal, it is essential for us to love and embrace ourselves.
- Demystify your guilt. There is a common misconception that the depth of our grief, pain or guilt reflects the level of love we have for the person or situation we’ve lost. That misconception can keep us trapped in pseudo guilt, afraid to let go. It’s not a betrayal of your past love or loss to recognize the destructiveness of unprocessed guilt and to deal with it in a different way.
- Give yourself permission to heal. Part of forgiving yourself is understanding that you don’t need to be punished or to punish yourself for the past. Give yourself permission to let go of the past and its grief, loss, wrongdoing and pain. Only by healing our woundedness, can we offer pure love and blessing to others.
- Actively create new opportunities. If you’ve been unable to forgive yourself, you may have been holding yourself to unrealistic expectations or perfectionism. Healing comes when we forgive ourselves, learn from our experiences and get back into life to start again. Start with small steps and stay present to new opportunities instead of hearkening back to the past.
Because forgiveness is not an easy discipline to master, there have been many tools developed throughout history to assist in the process. Here are a few that you may find helpful:
Meditation and Reflection
Meditation and reflection bring us back to the present, from where we can let go of the past and own the present moment. This process of reflective self-awareness allows us to observe our feelings without resistance. This is the first step in the healing process. When first beginning to meditate, it can be helpful to commit for a period of, say, three months. During meditation, you can allow feelings to surface. When they do, simple breathe through the sensations, wherever they show up – and you will discover that you are not your feelings; your true nature is limitless consciousness observing the feelings.
Mantras and Affirmations
This practice helps to change habitual thought patterns. You can use a chant or mantra from a spiritual tradition, or you can create your own to repeat to yourself throughout each day. A simple example could be: “I forgive myself and everyone else.” This may feel awkward at first, but over time, it will start to shift entrenched thought patterns.
Journaling
Recording your thoughts in a journal can be a valuable way of releasing emotions. Journaling is a safe place to acknowledge different emotions, explore their causes, understand your responses and discover ways to eliminate triggers while focusing on more helpful emotions.
Making Amends
In twelve-step groups making amends is an important step in finding freedom and healing. True forgiveness comes from surrender to a Higher Power – whether you bring an offering of forgiveness, service or sacrifice for atonement. You can create your own amendment offering through philanthropy, activism, volunteerism or some other form of service that requires a gifting of your time, money or effort. You may not be able to make amends with someone who hurt you because they are no longer around, but you can pay it forward in service to others. The key is to consciously make that sacrifice in light of your desire for forgiveness.
©Copyright Ada Porat. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached. For more information, visit https://AdaPorat.com
by Ada Porat | May 29, 2023 | Conscious living, Life Balance
Photo Credit: Katrina Berban, Unsplash
“Play is the only way the highest intelligence of humankind can unfold.” – Joseph Chilton Pearce
Recently, I attended a conference where the speaker asked participants: “Are you fun to live with?” She then explained that if you don’t value the importance of play and having fun in your life, you will most likely not be fun to live with. That sure got my attention!
Western society tends to dismiss play for adults. Play is perceived as unproductive, a waste of time or even a guilty indulgence. As adults, we’re supposed to be serious. And with responsibilities piling on endlessly, we may think there’s simply no time to play.
Yet, play is just as pivotal for adults as it is for kids.
In English, the word “play” represents the opposite of “work.” But this definition is misleading. As psychiatrist Brian Sutton-Smith puts it: “The opposite of play is not work, it’s depression.” Dr. Smith began studying the role of play in brain development after discovering the impact of no play on the brain development of homicidal young men. He found that play of any kind is essential to brain development.
Play is not just essential for kids; it is an important source of relaxation and stimulation for adults as well. Playing with your partner, friends, co-workers, children and pets fuels your imagination, creativity, problem-solving abilities, and emotional well-being.
Simply put, play brings joy.
Adult play is a time to forget about responsibilities and get social in an unstructured, creative way. When you play, you focus on an experience, not on accomplishing a goal. There need be no purpose to the activity beyond having fun and enjoying yourself. Play could be goofing off with friends, sharing jokes with a coworker, throwing a Frisbee with your kids, playing fetch with a dog or going for a bike ride.
By giving yourself permission to play with the joyful abandon of childhood, you can reap oodles of health benefits. Here are just a few:
Play refreshes you. When you take a break from mentally challenging tasks to play for a few minutes, you release built-up tension and allow your brain circuitry to rebalance. These brief diversions refresh your mind and body, renew your focus and prevent burnout. It can also help you to view problems in new ways, so you can find optimal solutions.
Play relieves stress. Play is fun and triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even relieve pain.
Play improves brain function. Playing chess, completing puzzles, or pursuing other fun activities that challenge the brain can improve brain function and help prevent memory problems. The social interaction of playing with family and friends can also release stress and ward off depression.
It keeps you feeling young and energetic. In the words of George Bernard Shaw, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” Playing boosts your energy and vitality and can even improve your resistance to disease.
Play is good for your heart. Physical play is a great way to trick yourself into becoming more active—a habit that benefits your heart. Just walking the dog burns 230 calories per hour, and a leisurely bike ride burns over 420.
Play stimulates your mind and boosts creativity. You learn a new task better when it’s fun and you are in a relaxed and playful mood. Play also stimulates your imagination, helping you adapt and problem solve better.
It helps heal emotional wounds. Studies have shown that when an emotionally upset individual plays with a partner who feels more stable, it can help replace negative beliefs and behaviors with positive awareness and action.
Play improves relationships and connection to others. Sharing laughter and fun fosters empathy, compassion, trust and intimacy with others. Play doesn’t have to be a specific activity; it can also be a state of mind. Developing a playful nature can help you loosen up in stressful situations, break the ice with strangers, make new friends, and form new business relationships.
It develops and improves social skills. During childhood play, kids learn about verbal communication, body language, boundaries, cooperation, and teamwork. As adults, we continue to refine these skills through play and playful communication.
Play improves interpersonal cooperation. Play is a powerful catalyst for positive socialization. Through play, we learn how to work together, follow mutually agreed upon rules, and socialize in groups. We can also use play to break down barriers and improve relationships with others.
Still thinking that you are too busy to play? Given all these benefits, perhaps it is time to decide that you are too busy NOT to play! Your body, mind and emotions need the benefits of play.
Schedule your play activities like any other commitment. It is that important. Perhaps now would be a good time to schedule that much needed vacation. You’ll be better off for having played more!
About the author
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Apr 26, 2023 | Faith, Love, Peace, Self-awareness, Spirituality
Photo credit: Unsplash
Dear one, there is something you need to know. This love letter comes to remind you of what really matters. And it is this: You are not a mistake. You are eternally, irrevocably loved.
Yes, you are dearly, utterly loved. You are deeply loved by good people in this world. Most of all, you are loved by the infinite Creator whose love is without beginning and without end.
You are worthy of being loved because of who you are. There is nobody else just like you, and every outrageous detail of your existence is a treasure that is yours to savor and to share.
You come from Love, you are love and therefore you can choose love.
On the days when you want to hide from the world and bury yourself in misery and self-pity, remember this: you are not broken. You may be discouraged, wounded, overwhelmed or afraid, but you are not broken.
Within you, your eternal soul burns bright as ever, and as you peel away the surrounding layers that you built for protection, that inner flame will light your path once more. It will burn through every obstacle on your way, for that is your purpose and your destiny in this life: to let your light shine!
You were not created to play small or to argue for your limitations. You were not born to be broken. Your life offers so much more!
Yes, you are not a mistake. You were given life by Divine decree, and you embarked on this journey with courage that left the angels in awe. You freely chose this wild, tumultuous journey to experience, and learn, and grow. You came here to embody the Presence of the Divine Source in a world shrouded in spiritual slumber.
And these things you can do at any time: you do not need a million dollars in the bank before you learn to lean into the stillness within; you do not have to attain any social status before learning to discern the voice of Spirit within; you do not need to strive for popularity to validate your soul’s worth. Your worth is intrinsic, eternal and unchangeable.
Perhaps you feel a bit dull and tarnished right now, like a diamond that had been dropped in mud. And yet, when the external dirt is washed away, your intrinsic beauty continues to radiate.
Your light is shining through all the layers that obscure it, so open your heart and hands. Let the light within you expand in ever bigger circles to hold this entire world in its embrace. Let your love reach out to embrace all the forms of life around you: two-leggeds and four-leggeds, feathered and scaled ones; all of nature. It is by embracing the beauty of what already is, that your love will call forth the highest good in yourself and others.
You are magnificent and powerful; a co-creator endowed with the privilege of being the Creator’s hands and feet and voice in this world. This is your purpose and your calling.
Life is fleeting and fragile and sometimes utterly awful. At times such as these, the light within you is needed more than ever.
Never let the shadows around you discourage you. Instead, let your light shine so brightly that it dispels the shadows and illumines your path.
You came into this life to realize the Presence of the Creator in you and anchor that in physicality. As you do that, the Creator Presence radiates into the world around you to heal, transform and renew. That power is in you right now, right here!
You alone must discover the full potential of what is possible in this life. You already have the power of becoming within you, for you have the power of choice.
And as you nestle into the Presence of Spirit’s peace at the end of each day, may you feel the pleasure of the Creator resting on you, and the loving embrace of your heavenly support team.
You are never alone. You are Divinely loved and supported, now and always!
About The Author:
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Mar 24, 2023 | Conscious living, Cope with change, Personal growth
Photo credit: Marek Piwnicki, Unsplash
For many centuries, mystics lived at the fringes of society on mountaintops and in monasteries. They did not mix with the masses or participate in worldly affairs. Today, all that has changed!
The evolving consciousness on the planet offers unprecedented growth potential for all. And around the globe, spiritually awakened beings are initiating positive transformation by becoming mystics in the marketplace. They usher in the Presence of Spirit and practice Higher Law wherever they go.
Mystics in the marketplace have learned to tap into Higher guidance. They live and lead from a place of inner direction instead of conforming to external conditions. They are powerful agents for positive transformation because they don’t operate by the lowest common denominator; instead, they embody a rising tide of consciousness that lifts all boats. These souls understand that the change we wish to see in our world, starts with each one of us and our individual field of consciousness. They know that all transformative change flows from the energy of that quantum field.
These mystics have answered the call to be the change they wish to see in the world. Perhaps you are already one of them, or you feel a tug to join the growing ranks of mystics who operate as change agents for positive transformation in the world.
You and I can help transform our world by serving as conscious emissaries of the Life Force within us. No longer do we need to separate ourselves from the world to survive; instead, we are called to consciously embody the presence of Spirit wherever we are, so consciousness can evolve.
To do so effectively, we need to understand that our ultimate purpose in life calls for growth in consciousness. We need to commit to the task by clearing, purifying and strengthening the presence of Spirit in our beings; and we need to become lighthouses that radiate the energy of love to foster positive change in the world. We can bring about transformation and healing through our becoming that. In a world crying for healing, there is no greater service we can offer.
Each one of us can contribute to the process, regardless of our individual level of maturity. Broadly speaking, there are three core stages of learning along the journey of personal growth and development: the initial stage of conscious awareness, the intermediate stage of informed action, and the advanced stage of transformative wisdom.
It is not uncommon to find yourself at an advanced stage of integration on one area of life, whereas you may be just starting to develop in another area. The key to personal growth lies in knowing where your personal process needs to be fine-tuned and then to support that growth with appropriate correction, learning and feedback.
Initial Stage – Conscious Awareness
The beginning stage of growth in consciousness requires new ways of thought, ideas and insight. You may encounter ideas that spark your desire to learn more – exploring other realities and belief systems, or delving into diverse fields of knowledge, teaching and materials. You may also spend a lot of time processing new concepts, working out in your mind what resonates for you and why.
Mistakes are common at this stage and that is okay. It may be difficult to filter irrelevant information appropriately because discernment is a skill that gets refined with time and practice. You may get overwhelmed when there are too many things happening in your life at once or if you put pressure on yourself. During this phase, personal growth tends to be sporadic, uncoordinated and often somewhat lopsided – not unlike what happens when you start playing a new sport for the first time.
Some of the most valuable tools during this phase include receiving constructive feedback and encouragement from others, giving yourself room and grace to fail, practicing forgiveness and staying committed to your journey. Repeated effort and practice will help you become more comfortable with the process.
Intermediate Stage – Informed Action
In the intermediate stage of growth, practical application becomes important. You start drawing on what you’ve learned to implement meaningful change in your life. It is no longer sufficient to simply know about things; you need to apply what you know in practical ways to learn how these concepts might play out. Experimenting with new tools, strategies and practices are important as you develop practical ways to integrate and live from higher levels of being.
During this phase, you start connecting dots in your learning; with the experience gained from practical application, you start shifting your perspective to higher levels of thinking, processing and acting. You also shift your internal processes out of the purely intellectual realm and into the heart, from where you can replace dynamics that are revealed by higher awareness as no longer beneficial.
During this phase of informed action, you may try many different approaches before experiencing a sense of accomplishment. Since practical application brings about real-world outcomes, you will likely become more aware of the external environment in which you operate, the constraints it imposes and your own impact on your environment. There can be a strong need for external feedback to validate choices, build confidence and offer assurance. Constructive feedback can help you maintain balance, align with core truths and recontextualize individual differences.
At this stage, individual limitations and beliefs need to be continually challenged and cleared to support continued development. Maintaining a balanced sense of personal power is also important to prevent compromise of your values.
Advanced Stage – Transformative Wisdom
The advanced power of transformative wisdom comes from integration of all previous stages of learning. When you apply knowledge and discern ways to fine-tune optimal processes, you develop wisdom. At this stage, you take full responsibility for your actions and become self-regulating. You’ve moved from the stage of knowing about things, to intentional doing specific things, and now you are becoming transformed by the process. You no longer look outside yourself for affirmation, guidance and support, but find it within through your ever-present connection to Source. Communion with the Divine Presence becomes your natural operating mode, whether on your meditation mat or in the board room; and it facilitates on-going input, discernment and fine-tuning as needed.
Functioning at this level brings deep awareness of the holographic universe and your intrinsic part in it, so you become an effective change agent for positive transformation. You are able to shift the energy field around you by the presence of what you’ve become. Personal growth or development may appear incremental or smaller on the surface, yet the process continues as you fine-tune your process and do deep inner work that may be invisible to others.
Clearly, each stage along the continuum of growth offers opportunities to make a positive contribution to the restoration of our world. Your presence is needed to help support the collective awakening and healing on the planet, wherever you are. By owning your process and believing in yourself, you can join the growing number of mystics in the marketplace who lead with conscious awareness, informed action and transformative wisdom.
©Copyright Ada Porat. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached. For more information, visit https://AdaPorat.com.
by Ada Porat | Feb 28, 2023 | Change bad habits, Cope with change, Empowering changes, Resilience, Spirituality
Photo Credit: Alexander Schimmeck, Unsplash
Everyone desires to improve their life in some way: to heal something, change limiting habits, find a romantic partner, lose weight, reach their highest potential, develop intuition, find their soul purpose, and more.
As long as we are alive, this process continues. Norman Mailer put it this way: “Every moment of one’s existence one is growing into more or retreating into less. One is always living a little more or dying a little bit.” There’s always a next step waiting to be taken, yet everyone – absolutely everyone – has trouble accomplishing these laudable goals. In fact, we spend an inordinate time making up reasons and excuses for not moving forward.
Not moving forward is extremely painful. It creates a sense of frustration with yourself because the desire to grow and expand comes from your soul. Resistance to following your path blocks the very expression of your soul. Imagine the impact of such dense emotions that accumulate in the body over years of wrestling with the same dysfunctional patterns!
Here are three practical steps to help you get unstuck and move forward more effectively:
- Ditch fear of humiliation
Most people are controlled by fear of being humiliated or judged by others – and that fear prevents them from moving forward in their lives.
You can overcome this paralyzing fear by recognizing that your true locus of control is inside of you; it does not come from anyone outside you. When you acknowledge the Divine Presence in you and start to follow its gentle prompting, you’ll find the courage and validation you seek within yourself.
Looking outside ourselves for approval or acceptance is an ego trap. It breeds fear of being humiliated whenever external feedback conflicts with our ego needs and is actually a form of pride.
True commitment to our soul path brings about a sense of authentic humility. When we no longer seek approval from outside ourselves, we’re better able to align with Higher truth within. Our relationship with Spirit cultivates deep inner honesty and humility within us. We no longer need to impress or win the fleeting approval of others; instead, we embrace with our true identity as souls and learn to operate by Higher law, resulting in inner peace.
Fantasy or reality?
Do you find yourself bargaining that you’ll do what you need to as soon as the children are grown, or after you’re out of debt, or once you get a new job? Are you dreaming of the life you desire if only you had the money, time or resources? Empty dreams are fantasy – they keep us in a state of scarcity unless we take appropriate action!
Here’s another way to look at life: Everything that shows up in your life and mine, is perfect for the purpose of our growth… not our comfort! On this planet, results are built by matching vision with action, step by step. Nothing falls from the sky ready-made, and circumstances never pause to create the perfect show-stopping moment for us to step into. If we wait for the perfect opportunity before taking action, we may even miss the steppingstones along the way. To break free from wishful thinking, the question to ask yourself instead is, “What I am I doing in the meantime?”
A colleague of mine used to tell her clients, “It’s only too late if you don’t start now!” You cannot satisfy your soul’s yearning with empty dreams and promises – you’re made of better stuff and your soul knows that! Start taking action now with the guidance you already have, and the next step will show up. When guidance is given but you don’t act on it, you may end up with information overload – overwhelmed, stuck or frustrated – whereas steady action will clear the way forward.
Information overload
Information overload can come from asking for input from too many people but never acting on the information stuffed into your energy field. It is normal to gather information before moving forward. The trap lies in over-analyzing each piece of information or waiting for more guidance to appear before acting. This can move you into analysis paralysis or information overload with too much data floating around in your mind, triggering your fears, anxieties, limitations, or past trauma, so you end up too confused to start. Information overload also happens when giving your power away to others instead of taking full responsibility for your own life.
To break free from the bog of information overload, go back to the beginning and look at the very first step that needs to be taken. If internal chatter of fear, bargaining or limitation arises in response, deal with it! Your power lies in choosing your truth in the face of your fears. Drill down to the source of fear and recognize it for what it is – the ego’s stalling tactic to keep you from changing. Let go of it and take the first step forward despite the fear, and it will diminish. Once you’ve taken the first step, you can ask for more guidance, listening within for it. The next breadcrumb will show up!
Collectively, these three steps can help you get unstuck from the sticky bogs of stagnation, and help you live more effectively.
©Copyright Ada Porat. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached. For more information, visit https://AdaPorat.com
