by Ada Porat | May 23, 2022 | Conscious living, Gratitude, Life Balance, Mindfulness, Personal growth
Photo Credit: Mike Erskine, Unsplash
Sometimes when I garden, I think of all the life lessons gardening has taught me and my heart overflows with joy. Perhaps I should write one of those books titled: “Everything I need to know about life, I learned in my garden!”
Jokes aside, gardening for me is a sacred conversation with all of life. It intimately connects me with the earth, nature, creatures of all shapes and sizes, and life beyond. It brings me back to my happy space as a co-creator and nurturer.
The act of gardening brings us fully present to ourselves, each moment, and the Presence of the Creator permeating everything around us. The rich diversity of the microcosm we call gardening, is simply a sliver of the abundant cosmos we get to live in and explore. And as we seek to establish balance and participation in a garden, we set in motion a core of harmony that ripples out to bless all sentient life with beauty, sustenance, and vitality.
Gardening gathers us home to Mother Nature and all the lessons she has to share with us. As we tend the diverse aspects of a garden, we also commune with Mother Nature, and in turn she blesses us with nutritious bounty and beauty.
As in all of life, gardens enjoy seasons of growth like spring and loss like fall; there are times of giving as the blooms of summer, and seasons of rest as the seed beneath the snow. All the seasons are ours to experience.
How we experience each changing season, is up to each of us: we alone choose our responses to life, our ability to begin again and grow even after we’ve been pruned back hard.
Gardens are not just happenings. They’re expressions of the gardener’s presence. The more wonderful the garden, the more skilled the gardener. Together, the symbiotic relationship of garden and gardener offers us clear reminders of the principles we need to tend through the seasons of life.
As seasons revolve, periods of death and loss are followed by the rebirth of new life and vitality. Each plant grows, blooms and bears fruit, and then declines as a reminder of the sacred cycle of life and death. When the season of bounty is done, spent plants are recycled by composting them, and room is created for new shoots to emerge from the bountiful earth.
Like all of creation, gardening starts with a vision. It also requires effort and persistence to translate the vision into reality. Choices need to be made: our inner garden grows best when we plant seeds of faith, hope, love, compassion, forgiveness and trust. And then, we need to faithfully tend those seeds as they grow into their full potential.
To effectively cultivate our inner garden, we must care deeply for this life that’s ours and nurture it. We need to identify and remove weeds from our lives so they will not choke out the beauty of the life we’re cultivating. Likewise, we need to differentiate between what’s good and what’s unnecessary, so we can prune back behaviors and actions that interfere with our inner growth and harmony. Pruning, though painful, creates space for what we wish to bring forth.
Gardens are protected by healthy boundaries. When boundaries are defined, the tender plants are protected from predators while beneficial insects are invited to perform their service of pollination.
Gardening is inherently responsive and proactive. It teaches us the importance of spotting pesky invaders or the start of disease right away. Ignoring a few warning signs today can quickly escalate to a disastrous outcome or total crop loss. We need to remain vigilant, eliminate negative thoughts and maintain good emotional hygiene for a balanced life.
And when harm has been done, gardening also teaches us to forgive trespassers – both the intruders who hurt and damage what’s been painstakingly cultivated, and forgiving ourselves when we make mistakes or fail to live up to our own ideals.
Finally, gardening teaches us about the value of community. Plants are drawn to companions that comprise a supportive community. Tomatoes grow well alongside basil or peppers, but don’t thrive next to cabbage or broccoli. This does not make either plant type bad; it merely indicates a harmonic symbiosis which, when honored, results in more optimal outcomes. Likewise, we need the enrichment and support of a harmonious community to reach our full potential.
There’s no garden as prolific as the one that love grew, whether in nature or in our hearts. Love is at the core of all abundance, goodness and bounty. Author Daphne Rose Kingma expressed it this way:
“For it is in loving, as well as in being loved, that we become most truly ourselves. No matter what we do, say, accomplish, or become, it is our capacity to love that ultimately defines us. In the end, nothing we do or say in this lifetime will matter as much as the way we have loved one another.”
Even though the world is full of suffering, it’s also full of empowerment and opportunity. When we stop to reflect on the inner garden we’re tending – our inner being – we see this.
And so, we tend the verdant garden of our hearts so we can transition from fear to faith; from lack to abundance, and from defensiveness to blessing. It takes courage to step away from a busy schedule and to sit, tending our heart and soul. Yet all masters knew how important that is: even Gandhi took one day a week to sit in silence, tending the garden of his heart so he could be the change he sought in the world.
It is in quietude and contemplation that we recognize the stillness of the Creator Presence and our connection to all. That awareness can foster in us compassion for the woundedness of the world, so we commit to the awakening and care of our world.
Centuries ago, the Buddha taught: “To live in joy and love even among those who hate; to live in joy and health, even among the afflicted; to live in joy and peace, even among the troubled; quiet your mind and tend the heart, and free yourself from fears and confusion and attachment, and know the sweet joy of living in the Way.”
What is your bountiful gift to the world that only you can bring? Listen closely, push beyond discomfort to cultivate your seeds of potential, and grow them with love and joy!
About The Author:
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit http://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Apr 21, 2022 | Conscious living, Cope with change, Empowering changes, Life transitions, Personal growth
Photo Credit: Aamir Suhail, Unsplash
None of us are exempt from the upheaval sweeping around the globe. This time of great shifting and change has been foretold eons ago, and it is called the Great Awakening. It is a period of both chaotic change and great opportunity.
In communities everywhere, growing awareness of injustice acts as a catalyst for people to release pent-up frustration around issues of inequality, greed, suppression, abuse and more. As this energy gathers momentum, it evokes many mixed emotions in others as well: fear, disgust and recoiling, to name a few.
What are we to do with these mixed feelings?
I believe these emotions can be very useful, because it can arouse in us the will to take action.
Evolution and awakening are not armchair hobbies! This is not a time to hide until the storm passes; it is time awakened souls to clear their own energy and hold a clear intention for the unfolding of optimal solutions.
If we truly want a better world, we need to actively tap into the power of intention for the collective outcomes we desire to see. Is that not infinitely more productive than passivity while angry mobs create a post-apocalyptic reality based on their woundedness and pain?
I believe we can do better. We must!
Recent events are exposing many fundamental problems that have festered in societies around the world for a very long time. While you and I may not express our disgust violently, we share a part of the problem, too. Have we not benefited from the very inequality that caused suffering for others? That makes us responsible for finding a solution as well.
It is time for all of us to see the bigger picture. We are called to step into our sovereignty as co-creators of reality in the world around us now, as well as the reality we wish to see moving forward. It is either this, or passively accepting the post-apocalyptic nightmare created by blind egos fueled by greed.
Humanity cannot continue functioning with the enormous disparities that currently prevail. I recently watched an Amazon documentary titled “Human Flow” that touched my heart. It showed how millions of people around the globe, displaced by war, famine and inequalities, are barely surviving in refugee camps without amenities, forgotten by the world. If we wish to survive as a species, we cannot stand idly by or build our own fortunes while others suffer, stripped of everything they had.
Ask yourself this: Are you a part of the problem or part of the solution?
You are inherently part of either the problem or the solution by your inner attitude. And you can help to heal this collective wound without ever marching for change – it starts within your heart.
It is time for all of us to harness our disgust and discomfort into compassionate action; doing our part to recycle the dense energy in the collective by sending it to the Light, and holding onto a clear vision for the emergence of a better world.
As awakened beings, you and I have a pivotal part to play in this unfolding drama. We need to BE the light called for in this world, radiating compassionate Light to others, and holding the energetic intention for unfoldment of a better way forward for all of humanity.
Like a wildfire, the waves of anger and violence will burn themselves out when we do not feed them. We are not to fight fire with fire; we are called to BE the peace we wish to see in the world. As spiritual firefighters, our tools consist of compassionate awareness, clear focus and wise action.
You and I can put out the fires of discontent by sending compassion to areas of conflict, allowing our compassion to quell the fires of the heart raging worldwide. Once these fires of injustice have been acknowledged, the flames will subside and reason will return. Only then can rebuilding begin.
Instead of judging others for the actions they take at their individual level of consciousness, let’s harness our collective emotional response and focus it on more optimal outcomes instead.
There are many different ways in which you can become part of the solution in a suffering world. The point is that when you are an awakened being, you are called on to respond.
The Course in Miracles says that there are only two calls in life: the call for love and the call to love. Which will you choose?
We can do this work in private, with others or in groups online who are holding a collective response for peace. Until we acknowledge the pain of the world and meet it with compassion, there can be no meaningful healing or rebuilding.
If you choose to join other souls in worldwide meditation, then do that. If you choose to do radical forgiveness the way Dr. Hew Len taught, then go right ahead. If you choose to participate on a local level to reach across boundaries of race and class for forgiveness, do that by all means.
We are called to lead by example – reaching across the chasm and building bridges to a new way of being. We are called to stand strong, to keep the faith and hold a clear vision of a compassionate society that leaves nobody out of its embrace.
Hold in mind your vision for a better world; then ask yourself what you can do to help bring that about.
Know that whatever attempts to suppress, diminish and deny human expression and growth, is ultimately destined to fail. Meaningful change will take time, but it is possible. It starts with you and me holding a vision of compassion in which all beings can evolve – for all sentient beings are worthy of the compassion, love and support needed to evolve.
At a soul level, we volunteered to be on the planet for this time. As the Hopi elders reminded us in preparation for this time, we are the ones that we’ve been waiting for. This is the moment to dig deep, to find the love of Who we are, and let our Light shine to point the way thru this darkness.
The light and solutions we seek in the world will only come in response to what all of us do, so please do not turn away or hide in a corner. Step up; participate with other souls who are working individually and collectively to radiate the light of Divine potential in this world.
Allow yourself to be what you were truly born to be in this life – a co-creative being of Light!
About the author:
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://www.adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Mar 27, 2022 | Conscious living, Empowering changes, Mindfulness, Peace, Personal growth, Spirituality
Photo credit: Alex Pavlou, Unsplash
“Anyone can build a house of wood and bricks, but the Buddha taught that that is not our real home. Our real home is inner peace.” – Ajahn Chah
How can we possibly experience inner peace at a time when humanity and our planet appear to be tumbling deeper into chaos? Can inner peace even co-exist with chaos?
I believe the answer is Yes!
In fact, spiritual practices such as mindfulness and the ancient wisdom teachings show us how to cultivate inner peace in any situation.
The only time we have is the present now; tomorrow is not guaranteed. This present moment, therefore, is the perfect and only time where we can find inner peace. This inner peace, which is also known as equanimity in Buddhism, cannot be found in the outside world. And yet, the potential for inner peace exists in the mind and heart of every individual, so each one of us can learn how to create the inner conditions for experiencing lasting peace within.
One of the perennial wisdom teachings encourages us to view peace as the result of letting go: letting go of clingy attachment as well as letting go of its opposite, which is aversive resistance.
The process of letting go is simple, but not necessarily easy to practice. It requires self-discipline. And so, we tend to shop around for easier ways toward peace, running the risk of getting confused by external voices promising instant bliss and freedom from the human condition.
You see, random information without context leads to overwhelm and confusion. Instead, we need to discern what is truly useful for us at any given time. We also need to distinguish between the loud presence of random information and the gentle presence of inner equanimity, because that is how we liberate the mind. In the presence of equanimity, the mind is not hijacked by attachment or aversion.
Equanimity further grows when we recognize that all things are inherently neutral; it is simply our thinking that bestows meaning on things so we can then either attach to them or resist them. It is not the facts, but the stories about the facts, that hijack our minds into value judgments and rigid positions.
In Buddhist tradition, equanimity is seen as a central quality present in beings who have developed deep inner wisdom and alignment with truth, free from hostility and ego will.
Equanimity relates to inner poise and balance because it rests in a place of non-attachment; centered between attraction and repulsion. It poises in a calm place of neither clinging to nor pushing away from things. Finding that neutral resting place within offers us a higher perspective over issues rather than getting stuck in the egoic interpretation of what’s happening. The more we develop equanimity, then, the more inner peace and spaciousness we experience in life.
Each one of us can develop more equanimity by practicing mindfulness in our lives on a daily basis and using an inner inquiry process to help us unpack emotions as they arise. Here are five steps to help with the process:
1. Set a clear intention to stay mindful
Setting a clear intention reminds us to step out of the ego identification of attachment and aversion; story-making and drama. It is the first step in cultivating true inner awareness.
2. Recognize the triggers
When a trigger arises, we may try to avoid feeling our emotions around it. Instead, we may distract ourselves with shopping or work, or we may attempt to numb our emotions with food or other substances. If we truly want to discharge the impact of the trigger, we absolutely need to become aware and look at it. Sometimes, the simple act of clearly seeing allows our reaction to the trigger to dissolve so we can replace it with equanimity.
3. Become curious
When we feel lost in reactions of anger and frustration to triggers, it is helpful to recognize that there is a desire hidden there, way beneath the frustration or anger. There may be attachment to a wishful outcome, or a craving for safety and security. It can be helpful to ask questions about where the attachment or aversion came from, what it is attempting to accomplish and what needs to be done with it to help us dissolve inner dissonance. We can also investigate the ways in which we distract ourselves to avoid feeling pain or avoid accepting reality.
4. Let go of attachment and aversion
By bringing compassionate awareness to these inner emotions and processes, we can separate out truth from our colored interpretation. Next, we need to ask ourselves if we are willing to let go:
- Am I willing to let go of control?
- Am I willing to let go of my attachment or aversion to what showed up in the past or in my present?
- Am I willing to let go of the way I think things should be?
- Am I willing to let go of resisting what is?
- Can I simply let go and allow things to be as they are
5. Embrace peace
Letting go of attachments and aversions offers us the opportunity to return to our innate state of peace. As we let go of these things, we create space for equanimity.
Equanimity is the final result of this deep inquiry process that helps us dissolve inner dissonance, become aware of areas where we are distracting ourselves, and come back into proper alignment with truth and peace within, free from attachment and aversion.
After practicing this inner inquiry, simply bask in the stillness of awareness, allowing the radiant heart and mind spaces to open. Allow life to unfold in its fullness, expanding and contract with each heartbeat of life so you can know the peace of observing all without attachment, and in so doing, find inner peace.
About The Author:
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Feb 21, 2022 | Conscious living, Cope with change, Love, Personal growth, Spirituality
Photo credit: Eddy Klaus, Unsplash
“Bless the poets, the workers for justice, the dancers of ceremony, the singers of heartache, the visionaries, all makers and carriers of fresh meaning — We will all make it through, despite politics and wars, despite failures and misunderstandings. There is only love.” ― Joy Harjo, Conflict Resolution for Holy Beings: Poems
It is by being present to the full triumph and catastrophe of the human experience that we can recalibrate it and shape the course of history instead of being shaped by it. This is the challenge and opportunity of our current times.
We’re living at a historical crossroads of monumental proportions. To choose well, we need to engage courageous thought and nurture fresh perspectives – not polarize others and fear dissent.
We need courage to forge better outcomes from the crucible of these times. And it is necessary to affirm the healing radiance of the human spirit and the unadulterated power unleashed when we remember who we really are – sourced from Divine Love through and through, yet equally human. Of this world and all others everywhere. This power cannot be diminished by tyranny or lies, by manipulation or fear. It is unassailable. Always. And it knows the truth. We know the truth.
The journey forward is long. Courage will be needed, along with a sense of humor and the wisdom to know when to speak up and when to wait for a more propitious time. In a free will Universe, no outcome is assured, so complacency is best avoided. That being said, we need to know our own limits and take care of ourselves first and foremost.
The constraints we face can be a game changer if we let them, revealing hidden truths and endowing each one of us with a deep sense of responsibility for what we choose as our truth, so our finely tuned moral compass can guide us safely past propaganda and mass psychosis. Let’s explore, question and analyze. Let’s come to our own conclusions, instead of receiving belief systems by dictate. And let’s honor the sovereignty of our minds and the right to form our own opinions from external evidence that pass our internal discernment. Only then can we decide as individuals and a collective where we all go from here.
The pressure of impending change is similar to sitting atop a roller coaster as the carriage creeps, ever so slowly, toward the tipping point before gravity intervenes and we’re hurtling down, no holds barred. Such moments are accompanied by both excitement and fear, anticipation and trepidation.
There’s no turning back and we know we’ll soon be going forward so fast there’ll be no stopping, whatever happens. Pressure is closing in from all sides. It is demanding from us courage, audacity and faith as frustration mounts and tempers flare. Only we ourselves know whether we’re motivated by a reliable inner voice or by emotions run ragged by external demands, conflicts and impositions.
We always have a choice and never has it been more vital to choose well. Amid the decay of a world that no longer is functional, we can start seeing new green shoots emerging. We’re just not quite there yet. There is much to be laid to rest first, even as we envision a future based on more equanimity and truth.
We are straddling the old and the new, the past and the future. The tired, worn-out paradigm seems so far removed from what we desire, yet we can’t quite envision what is possible, because we don’t know what we don’t know yet – and so we need to find different ways to span the chasm.
Amidst all the changes and imponderables in our world, we do have the ability to create the reality we desire. We can embark on this courageous journey by staying open to possibilities we can’t yet fathom, because we recognize we cannot create what we are not yet able to conceive. And so, it is essential to stay open to all possibilities, and to remain focused on the ultimate unfolding of the highest good. Even when we may put a partial vision out there because we are unable to imagine more, the Universe understands our intentions and can harness that to create optimal outcomes from the love in our hearts.
At this time, when we do not quite know yet what we could or should create, we can embody and radiate that creative power of love into our lives, our work and our world.
Amid a chaotic world, we can help co-create a better reality by connecting to the Source of Love within. Even when we cannot yet visualize a new world, we can connect with the Divine, all-inclusive love that offers hope and healing for all. When we embody and project that energy of Divine love into the world around us, Spirit can use it to create optimal outcomes for us and our world.
Love is the very fount of all creation. When we embody that state of being and share it with others, it supports creation to continuously unfold without limitation. This process also moves us from isolated identity-awareness to an inclusive space that embraces all of humanity and nature.
Energy that flows from a place of inherent harmony and love, continues to create more of the same. We can and must learn how to transform our own lives into ever more radiant beacons of transformation. The more we heal the shadow within ourselves and our world, the greater our capacity grows for radiating higher consciousness that creates congruent patterns benefiting all.
Everyone can participate in this process – you do not need to be a guru or a saint first to be effective. In a diverse world, not everyone is at the same level of consciousness: each one of us holds different value systems or visions for an optimal world. And yet, we all grasp the core importance of Love, even when it is diluted and tarnished in a materialistic society.
Action that comes from Love transforms because it is inclusive. Actions that emerge from the ego, divide and create conflict. When we gather our courage to engage from a place of Love, our interactions do not polarize but include. When we look for the best in others, they can awaken to that within themselves.
In a world rife with conflict, let’s take on the challenge of diffusing conflict with love. Let gather and radiate the creative power of love to create a better world with more equanimity for all.
©Copyright Ada Porat. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached. For more information, visit https://AdaPorat.com
by Ada Porat | Dec 27, 2021 | Conscious living, Empowering changes, Healthy boundaries, Personal growth
Photo Credit: Hanna Busing, Unsplash
Do you feel as if you’ve outgrown your circle of friends? Perhaps you do not feel safe or understood any longer. There may be fewer and fewer things you can share with people in your habitual circle, and it leaves you feeling lonely or isolated. If so, you are not alone. Welcome to one of the core dynamics of continuous growth!
As we continue to evolve, many of us struggle with a sense of not quite fitting in with our traditional community or tribe: we may have expanded or changed beyond the borders of tribal norms, and no longer find the same sense of belonging there. Other members may have tightened the tribal rules to foster a sense of security. As a result, we may feel a sense of disconnection or alienation.
In truth, each one of us belongs to many tribes simultaneously: there is your original tribe – the family you were born into – and then there are all the communities of choice you have joined: your work tribe, your social circles, your faith-based community, your neighborhood, and more. These communities are not static; they are in continuous flux because they consist of individuals who are in continuous states of change. When there is a lot of change happening in either the individual or the community, a sense of dissonance results.
How are we to deal with this? First, it is important to recognize that tribal allegiances were historically forged for survival. They were adapted over the course of centuries to ensure the safety and survival of the group. Survival required that individuation be sacrificed for the trade-off of security.
In modern society, the tables are flipped. Whether we enjoy it or not, change is essential for survival at every level of being. The pace of change is driven by technological advances and happens with increasing rapidity: sociologists estimate that more change has taken place in society over the course of the past 100 years, than in the totality of the previous 6,000 years. Individual adaptation now is a requirement for survival, and the pace of individual change does not always match the pace at which our various tribal communities evolve. The resulting dissonance can cause intense friction and pain.
Dissonance also results from confusion between the concepts of ‘connection’ and ‘community.’ We tend to equate one with the other, when they really relate to different qualities. Connection relates to connectivity: the objective physical technology or media that enables us to build community, but which does not represent the quality of that community. Connectivity simply offers the opportunity to connect with others through internet, texting, phone calls, or any other social networking options.
Community is the result of building relationship through meaningful interaction over time. There is no shortcut; it is a process that develops when bonds of trust and intimacy are nurtured and honored.
And here lies a caveat: When we confuse connectivity with community, we depersonalize the sacred nature of true community and start relating to people as objects. Instead of developing intimacy over time, we collect friends on social network sites or try to buy people’s allegiance. Yet friending is simply an act of connecting; it does not create intimacy.
In fact, social experiments indicate that technologically dominated connectivity results in alienation and social collapse over time. In a groundbreaking social experiment conducted by Josh Harris, one of the founders of social networking on the internet, he found that the more people’s private lives were exposed by 24/7 technology, the more their sense of intimacy and relationship deteriorated until the community collapsed in violence and self-destructive behavior.
It is time to revisit our concepts of community so we can create tribes that offer a true sense of intimacy and belonging.
In his 1987 book, The Different Drum: Community Making and Peace, psychologist M. Scott Peck described several core characteristics of true community. Beyond the obvious components of inclusivity, commitment and participatory consensus, Peck pointed out the quality of embracing diversity through realism. When each member contributes their unique viewpoint from a place of humility and goodwill, the community benefits from a broader perspective in which to better grasp the full context of a situation. In other words, mutual tolerance helps members to embrace one another’s different viewpoints as an integral part of the whole, instead of imposing a forced compliance to groupthink or cohesion.
In an environment like this, members experience and express compassion and respect for one another. They allow others to share their vulnerability, to learn and grow, and to express who they truly are. When conflict arises, they learn to resolve it with wisdom and grace. Members listen to and respect each others’ gifts, accept each others’ limitations, celebrate their differences, and commit to find solutions together rather than to fight against each other. Indeed, the true spirit of community is the spirit of peace, love, wisdom and power. The source of this spirit may be seen as an outgrowth of the collective self or as the manifestation of a Higher Will.
Does this description of community sound spiritual to you? It is indeed, because Spirit is the common denominator among all of us, regardless of how separate we feel from others.
As human beings, we often experience a socio-economic sense of separation from others because of different opinions, beliefs, expectations, language, culture, or interests, since each one of us expresses these in a way uniquely different from anyone else. And still, we continue to differentiate! In this ongoing process, we continue to evolve or devolve in response to life. A community that felt like a good fit last year may no longer work today; the places where we felt embraced, now may suffocate us. Over the course of a lifetime, we can expect to outgrow and change allegiances to many of the tribal communities we once belonged to.
And yet, when we transcend the layers of physical appearance, mental beliefs and socio-economic conditioning, we find in the presence of Spirit a common denominator in everyone around us. Perhaps it is time to expand our tribal definitions to embrace a spiritual community that includes all of mankind as children of God.
Mother Teresa admonished her nuns to see Jesus in every leper they encountered, to find His presence as they looked into the eyes of the homeless. When we can look past the issues that divide us to find omnipresent Divinity in each other, we will uncover the foundations of true community.
Spiritual community transcends all socio-economic borders, beliefs and backgrounds. It is inclusive because it operates on voluntary self-responsibility and mutual compassion, and its doors are open to everyone.
Building this type of community takes time: time to listen, to hear, to respond and to participate. Take a few moments to read the description of spiritual community again. Then, make time in your life to foster that type of connection with people who matter to you. You are one of the architects of community in your life, and you can participate in building a tribe where you belong.
©Copyright Ada Porat. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached. Ada Porat is an energy kinesiologist & pastoral counselor with extensive international teaching & clinical experience. She uses body/mind/spirit techniques to help clients make optimal life choices. For more information, visit https://AdaPorat.com
by Ada Porat | Sep 20, 2021 | Change bad habits, Conscious living, Cope with change, Empowering changes, Fear and anxiety, Personal growth, Spirituality
Photo Credit: Photo by Nadir sYzYgY on Unsplash
There are three common ways we tend to deal with difficulties in life: we may attack, or distract ourselves, or deny the reality of the situation.
Attack is especially popular in modern society. We use attack as a form of defense. We may jump to our individual assumptions and interpretations of what has been said, and then take offense at what we interpret as a personal attack on us, our values or our truths. Instead of stepping back for objectivity, we launch into an attack of what we think happened or what we imagine the other saying. This hooks us into an endless cycle of conflict, both within and without. When some truth manages to penetrate our defenses, we may even deny the existence of actual evidence that contradicts our assumptions. We may even harden our stance by seeking revenge or justification and so fueling the flames of conflict.
We humans are very good at distracting ourselves whenever we do not know how or do not wish to face the truth. In modern society, the temptations for distraction are endless: we may overindulge in binge-watching television, overeating, indulging in addictive behavior, playing games, or even exercise. We love to justify and feed these habits of distraction: we skew truth to find reasons to indulge our addictions, or to justify our behavior. And while we may be haunted by self-doubt within, we push that away by invoking the actions of others as justification for our distracted – and destructive – behavior. Often, it is not until we hit bottom in this cycle that we realize the high price of distraction ourselves from truth and accountability.
The third way we perpetuate struggle is something every addict knows well: we go into denial. We deny everything that appears dissonant to our own make-believe reality construct. We avoid people and situations that call into question the shaky reality construct to which we cling, and we avoid taking responsibility for our choices and actions. Instead of dealing with unpleasant issues, we may deny our part in it and project blame on someone else. When we do not want to come clean or confront discrepancies in our own value system, we opt to disassociate instead. We avoid, ignore, deny or pretend we did not hear or see what happened, while we try to tiptoe past the truth. By denying truth, we slip into a form of self-hypnosis that traps us in a repetitive, destructive cycle of attacking, distracting or denial.
There is a better approach to life’s challenges available to all of us. It is the pathway of awakening, which requires the willingness to practice personal honesty and accountability. True awakening asks us to surrender our ego stance to which we so desperately cling, and to open our hearts and minds instead to seek the deeper Truth that exists in all of life. It is by aligning to this deeper Truth that we find the grace to surrender our hero worship at the false feet of egoic self. In the presence of Truth, our false gods and beliefs are laid bare for the shabby fakes they are, and we surrender our false attachments to right or wrong, to judgment and blame, to justification and shame, to avoidance and projection.
Higher Truth is available to all of us at all times. The price for entry is simply this: we need to drop the ego’s cloak of duality and self-righteousness, and be willing to strip ourselves bare from all the limiting habits we’ve been hiding behind. Beyond the false identity of ego our souls await – ever pure, ever whole and ever peaceful. In that Presence, the illusion of struggle and competition dissolve to reveal the eternal Oneness of All that Is.
Our souls are not stirred by comfort and denial; it is upheaval that throws us out of our comfort zone into the uncertainty of life and awakens us. The goal of life, then, is not to avoid discomfort and the unknown; it is to lean into these times without holding back. The loss off our former safety net can become the opportunity to fly if we can stay present in the moment and stay open to the opportunities revealed by upheaval.
Are you feeling anxious because your world is coming apart? Do you feel as if you struggling on alone, without support, stuck in misery and confusion?
When upheaval comes, it is very helpful to remember that you are experiencing it because the cozy predictability of your life has just been addressed somehow. It may feel as if the rug has been pulled out from under you and you are falling through mid-air. This very sense of groundlessness invites you to stay present, and to see this is an invitation to deeper awakening and growth.
When we stop resisting fear of the unknown and stay present to our experience, we discover more and more freedom. We learn to lean into the Permanence that exists beyond the solid world of senses, and to surrender our attachment to the impermanence of the created world.
We are invited to discover the limitless freedom of Infinite Awareness manifest in us, and to recognize the timeless nature of Being. As we let go of our narrow identity as bodies, we can expand into the spaciousness of our true nature. We are expansive enough to stay present in every experience as it unfolds.
There is no need to defend false ego constructs: no need to attack, distract, or ignore what is unfolding in our lives. We can step back from drama and align with the Presence in which all possibilities exists and from where all creation emanates.
This letting go of our attachment to comfort and security, allows us to align with the Source of all that is, instead of the limited creations of ego. It restores us to ultimate freedom. From here, we can create a better world by focusing on what is truly meaningful, truthful, and inclusive.
©Copyright Ada Porat. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached. Ada Porat is an energy kinesiologist & pastoral counselor with extensive international teaching & clinical experience. She uses body/mind/spirit techniques to help clients make optimal life choices. For more information, visit https://AdaPorat.com
