by Ada Porat | May 14, 2015 | Conscious living, Decision-making, Life coaching, Mindfulness
A lot of success coaches and motivational speakers tell you to THINK BIG. They tell you to create a big vision in order to succeed. And I agree – having a big vision is necessary to accomplish big things.
At the same time, even big things are compiled of multiple smaller components – and so I find myself coaching clients to think of small steps instead.
Whenever you are in a tight spot in life, it is important to focus on the goodness of life at the present moment. The past is over and the future is not here yet. This is the perfect time to appreciate what you do have now instead of focusing on fear or lack.
Being laid off is a case in point. If you are out of work and have been for some time, it may be difficult to think about the perfect job or the ultimate contribution you want to make in the world. At this stage of the game, you may just want a paycheck… but now is the time to think small.
This bleak season of uncertainty will pass. Make the most of it by finding small steps where you can make a difference. Spend more time with loved ones, help the children with homework, plant some flowers. You can teach yourself a new skill or take a local adult education class. Revisit your vision for your life; dream a new dream. Being unemployed may feel like a permanent condition. The fact is, it is a season that will surely pass. You are not going to be out of work forever, so take small steps in the areas where you are able to now!
Whenever a project feels huge, it’s time to think small. If the size or complexity of the project overwhelms you, focus on just the next few small steps. Locate the phone numbers you need to call… schedule the time to make the call. Outline the chapters of the book you want to write…commit to writing just one page a day. Unclutter one drawer at a time instead of thinking about uncluttering the whole house. Baby steps will get you there.
Even in business, there’s a place and time for thinking small. When thinking big, we often complicate things with too many ideas and we overwhelm ourselves.
No matter where you are in life, there is always something you can do. If you cannot tackle big things now, don’t dither in indecision – start with small steps! Here are a few pointers to help you take small steps forward with confidence:
- Pick just one or two things to focus on each day. I find that most clients are trying to do too much in too little time. As a result, few things get completed. If you commit to one or two things daily, you’ll get more done and feel less stressed.
- Revel in little things. Go out and literally smell the roses. Slow down and appreciate your surroundings. Taste your food instead of inhaling it. Have meaningful conversation instead of passing interactions. Take small steps forward with appreciation rather than big steps with fear.
- Scale down. Get rid of physical clutter as well as mental clutter. Review your obligations and decide if they still serve you. Do you need to withdraw from some? Clear your mind by doing a brain dump: put your ideas, to-dos and tolerances (those things you are tolerating) down on paper. Prioritize what you choose to do and what you choose to let go; then take small steps to simplify your life.
- Focus on being great at what you do, rather than being the best. The best is the enemy of the great, just as perfection is the enemy of the acceptable. When you choose to be great, you’ll begin to do things from a place of excellence instead of overwhelm. Small and excellent steps trump big and anxious strides in my book any day!
- Allow extra time for everything you do. If doing a task will take ten minutes, allow yourself twenty. That way, you take small steps to build buffer time into your day to cope with unexpected events. If you finish in less time than that… go watch the clouds!
About the author
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Mar 16, 2015 | Conscious living, Healthy boundaries, Life coaching, Mindfulness, Spirituality
I write about peace, joy and power not because I have mastered it, but because these qualities are the hallmarks of authentic living. As such, I am always learning how to bring more of these qualities into my own life.
Living authentically requires us to practice what we teach: to the degree that I am able to live from my core of harmony and truth, I am able to help others discover these qualities in their lives also.
Along the way, I’ve come to realize that living authentically – from one’s core – brings true peace, joy and power; it defines who we become, and is not something we simply acquire.
The profound sense of peace that comes from authentic living far exceeds the temporary high of shopping, distractions, entertainment or other forms of pleasure. While physical distractions and activities can bring a temporary sense of happiness, it can never compensate for the lack of inner bliss that pervades so much of western society.
Authentic living means something much deeper. It means living life in harmony with your inner value system; becoming still enough to listen to the Inner Voice that guides you; and if needs be, to march to a different drum than that which drives the marketplace. Authentic living also means acting from a place and in a way that nourishes and respects your body, mind and spirit continuously.
Authentic living requires you to align your life with your core values and beliefs so that your actions become congruent with your truth. It asks of you to make choices that align your external actions with your soul’s ultimate purpose at any given time, choosing to do what energizes and renews you from the inside out. It means owning your inner truth, so that your outer life becomes transformed by that inner wellspring of life.
As you start aligning your actions, choices, and behaviors with your inner truth, something magical happens: it triggers a release of authentic personal power that may have been long dormant. You’ll become ever more aware of a deep inner Presence that brings peace, joy and harmony to every area of your life.
Sharing the way to this blissful space is my passion. And yes, you can live from this space, too!
All human beings have spiritual thirst: we desire to connect with our inner truth; we want to tap deep into the inner well of sacred power and joy that we may know about but don’t quite know how to reach.
Finding this place requires you to make space for spirituality in your life. It may call for some serious spiritual and emotional housecleaning. You may have to clean out old beliefs and behaviors, getting rid of mental clutter and self-destructive habits that linger in the forgotten corners of your life.
The results of authentic living, personal transformation and inner bliss will be worthwhile in every way!
The process will gradually redefine how you see life, yourself and others. You’ll find yourself able to let go of what others may think to cultivate more authenticity. It will help you establish healthy boundaries, while opening up the way for you to live from your authentic inner power.
Over time, you’ll find your perspective shifting from self-judgment to healthy self-respect. Aligning with this power will fill your life with the bliss of living authentically from your true core – and loving it.
In you search for peace, joy and power, remember you were created to play big, not small. Playing big is your inherent birthright as a soul. Spirit is always ready to heap on you all the bliss you can stand, but you need to make space for it in your life.
Why not let go of things that don’t serve you and create space for authentic living now, so you can enjoy that inner peace and power!
About The Author
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Jan 26, 2015 | Conscious living, Cope with change, Decision-making, Fear and anxiety, Life coaching, Life transitions
You may be cruising along comfortably at work or in your relationship when – bam! – something unexpected jerks the rug out from beneath you. Setbacks happen in every life – and usually when you least expect them, right!
Research shows that setbacks and challenges occur frequently, both our personal lives and at work. In fact, it has been estimated that some major challenge shows up in the life of every person and/or organization every two to three months on average. The way you address these challenges, will ultimately determine your success or failure.
In fact, these apparent setbacks can be seen as a potential blessing in disguise. Along with the challenges they present, they also contain potential for enormous personal growth. The Greek philosopher Epictetus said that circumstances neither make nor break a person; they only reveal one to oneself.
Perhaps you find yourself backed into a corner with no solutions apparent. Or you feel as if the stream of challenges in your life never end; no sooner do you solve one problem, but you are confronted by another. What to do?
When you feel overwhelmed by challenges, it is important to remember that the ultimate purpose of life is your soul growth. Challenges will inevitably arrive within the scope of your learning and growth; the only part of the challenge you can control is your response. Your personal level of responsibility – your ability to respond – will help you rise to the challenge and continue to grow in knowledge, experience and maturity.
To stop the pain of resisting setbacks and focus instead on realizing your full potential, it is essential to learn how to effectively respond to setbacks. The better you become at solving problems, the more success you’ll experience.
One of the fundamental secrets to success is to focus single-mindedly on solutions rather than on problems. The more you think about possible solutions, the more creative you become and the more in control you’ll feel.
Success has a lot to do with your ability to solve problems. Right at this moment, you have within you everything you need to deal with every crisis you face. There’s no challenge you cannot meet, and no setback you cannot overcome by applying the appropriate strategy.
During times of setbacks and challenge, your natural response may be to withdraw or shut down. Instead, your primary responsibility is to rise to the occasion, face your challenges and strive to find a way forward.
Business coach and motivational guru Brian Tracy identified ten universal steps to manage and overcome setbacks, whether in your personal life or at work. These steps will get you out of any situation, so let’s take a look at them in more detail:
1. Stay calm. You have a wonderful mind that stores volumes of information you can access when needed. You also have access to a storehouse of emotions. Your thoughts determine the emotions you experience. When you don’t like what is happening, your first task is to control your thoughts and in so doing, to harness your feelings and emotions. Panic shuts down your neocortex, which controls your rational thinking process and pushes you into a fight, freeze or flight response instead. Don’t give in to knee-jerk reactions. See yourself as a winner and approach this problem as a test to see how you will respond. Frustrated expectations lead to negative emotions such as fear of failure and rejection. Recognize that you simply have not reached your expectations – yet – and that you do have control over how you respond to each setback. Interpret the challenge in a neutral way, and you will remain calm instead of hitting the panic button. Keep yourself calm by refusing to dramatize. This, too, shall pass! Instead of panicking, stay curious. Focus on how the challenge could be useful.
2. Be confident in your abilities. When faced with setbacks, the natural reaction is to feel stunned or to pull back. Don’t go there! Instead, remind yourself of previous times when you successfully handled challenges; recognize that you can handle this one, too. To rise above the problem, remind yourself that you can overcome it. No matter how big the setback, you can get up and start over. Yes, you can do it! When you focus on your toolbox of gifts and graces, you will become more confident.
3. Dare to move forward. Create a new vision; pluck up your courage to embrace it; then share it with supportive allies and go for it. Courage is not lack of fear, but control of fear. During setbacks, you need courage to control your fear and focus on new goals to get past the problem. Develop courage by facing your fears and doing the things you need to do. Courage follows courageous behavior. Decide what you need to do to survive and get past the challenge: reassess your options, get help to release past trauma, and then act courageously to move forward in the face of disappointment. Resolve to persist until you have solved the problem.
4. Get the facts. Accurate information will bring you calm, clarity and the ability to make optimal decisions. It will allow you to face reality, rather than the ghosts of what you’re afraid of. It is truth that sets you free, and not delusions, fantasies or stories. Avoid blaming; it is not constructive! The more factual information you have, the calmer you will feel and the more courage you’ll have for tough decisions. Focus on what you CAN do, not on what you CANNOT do; then remind yourself that whatever cannot be cured, must be endured. Never assume you have all the information or that all your information about the situation is correct; stay open to the facts. Facts don’t lie; once you have the facts, you’ll gradually find appropriate solutions and options to act on.
5. Take control. When experiencing setbacks, it is natural to respond with negativity or anger. These emotions are not constructive. Take charge of your emotions and thoughts, and then you will find the clarity to decide what to do. Taking control also requires that you take 100% responsibility for your life and responses to conditions. When you take full responsibility for your life and choices, you’ll also access your authority to make necessary changes. You will find the strength to move forward.
6. Cut your losses. To survive challenges, you need to be flexible. You must be willing to embrace change, even when it ‘s not comfortable. Don’t think in terms of win/lose; think in terms of the next step forward. About 70% of all decisions turn out not to be optimal, but they can be adapted or changed as you move forward. Knowing what you know now, what should you do differently to attract different outcomes? Get clear on that, then cut your losses and return to basics so you can start to rebuild.
7. Manage the situation. Setbacks are inconvenient, disruptive, scary and intimidating, but this is not the time to run away! Your survival is determined by how well you manage four things: you need to interrupt the dynamic, determine the scope of the damage, think in terms of solutions, and take action! To break free from fear, ask yourself what the worst possible scenario or outcome would look like; then apply your insight to the current situation.
8. Communicate constantly. A large portion of all problems are caused by lack of communication. During tough times, it becomes more important than ever for you to communicate to people around you what is happening and what needs to be done. Grab the bull by the horns and speak to others in your life about the situation you are facing. Confide in a trusted person or get professional help; the benefit of an outside perspective can be enormous during times of challenge.
9. Identify your constraints. To overcome setbacks, you need to identify constraints that are holding you back. Once your own goals and values are clear, it is easier to identify obstacles or limitations that keep you from moving forward. What is holding you back? When you identify that constraint clearly, you are able to resolve it. Research shows that a full 80% of constraints are internal (inside you) and only 20% are in circumstances outside you. By identifying constraints or excuses in your circumstances, you can eliminate them and step into your power. Relentlessly weed out these limitations and limiting beliefs, and you will become a magnet for success!
10. Tap into your Higher Power. Crisis is as good a time as any to start tapping into your Higher Power and access your limitless potential as a soul. Let this Higher Power within you burn through all obstacles and bring you to the outcomes you desire. When you’ve done all you can, your Higher Power will continue working to bring about the outcomes you desire: inner peace and optimal resolution of your situation. Take time to connect to your infinite soul, your Higher Power and your Eternal Source. Practice being still within and allow your Higher Guidance to speak to you. Sometimes your prayer may be answered as soon as you express it; other times, it takes more time. No matter how long it takes, keep believing, take action and you will see the outcomes unfolding in your life.
There’s no problem you cannot solve and no setback you cannot deal with when you focus on the resources you already have!
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Dec 17, 2014 | Change bad habits, Conscious living, Decision-making, Life coaching, Mindfulness
The coming year will shape the destiny of every human being on this planet because it will offer every person pivotal opportunities for personal and global transformation.
The question each of us should ask is, “How will the forces guiding my life affect me in the next year?” Why? Because they are already doing that right now!
Whatever you’re working on in your life, is already working on you. Over the course of time, these forces will shape your life both on the surface and from within.
Nobody’s life is the same at the end of a year – any year – as it is at the beginning. You are building your life from the inside out even as it is working on you.
What do you plan to work on in the coming year? Getting clear on the purpose and plan for your soul is essential because it will ultimately direct where you end up over the course of the next year.
Business philosopher Jim Rohn put it this way: “If you go to work on your goals, your goals will go to work on you. If you go to work on your plan, your plan will go to work on you. Whatever good things we build, will end up building us.”
These are some valuable lessons to be gleaned here.
First is that life is a process, not a destination. Every year is simply a measure of life, a slice of the big picture. Instead of falling into the trap of reductionism and reducing life to a game of basic outcomes, why not become more conscious of the process, the journey?
You are building a life, not a year. The kind of life you build is going to be determined by the kind of goals and plans you work on, because they’ll work on you as well.
And that’s the second lesson: Your choice of goals means much more than just what you accomplish. You are choosing what you become, too!
Deepak Chopra has said that the activities on the surface of our lives distract us from the deeper work of soul making. You do not need to get caught up in the distractions of life to the detriment of your soul! This year, resolve to see your life as a sacred process of soul making. Let that Higher awareness guide your life journey. You are not meant to simply ACHIEVE something; you are here to BECOME something. And that process happens along the way, not at some magical destination.
The third lesson is this: it’s not just the good things we build that matter, but everything we build. They all matter because they all work on us.
If you use shame, blame, guilt or fear as building blocks for your life, that’s what you’ll ultimately have. If you avoid the effort of introspection, personal honesty and spiritual alignment, you may think you’re not building anything, but you are – and you’re not going to like the result, so why even go there?
On the other hand, if you build toward your highest potential, you facilitate the unfolding of your best life yet.
Reaching your highest potential is your soul’s ultimate purpose. It is revealed to you within the process of seeking to fulfill your highest potential, service and creativity. When you seriously engage in the work of healing the wounded psyche with Truth, you enable your highest potential to radiate from your core.
These are the goals that ought to guide you, for they will reveal the true blueprint of your life. They will direct your path, your purpose and your potential to bring about the highest unfolding of your being.
If you’re going to build something in your life during the next twelve months, make it something that you love and respect. It’ll shape you into someone you can love and respect!
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Nov 17, 2014 | Body Mind Spirit, Change bad habits, Conscious living, Cope with change, Decision-making, Fear and anxiety, Life coaching, Life transitions, Mindfulness, Spirituality
Feeling stuck in life at this time? Frustrated? Take a moment to really feel what is going on. You are not stuck… you are simply constrained.
Yes, the old way of doing things no longer works, and you are trying to adjust to radical new ways of looking at life, doing things, and even living.
Outside yourself, the whole world is going through a spin cycle. Deep wounds in the collective psyche of mankind are surfacing, releasing both great horror and amazing opportunity. Societies hunger not for war or peace, but for Truth to cut through illusion and bring about spiritual healing at the deepest levels of being.
Never before in the history of the planet has there been such a clarion call for healing to avert global destruction. The time for dilly-dallying and empty promises is over. It is time to heal our world – starting with ourselves!
The truth is that, throughout this time of constraint and upheaval, there are unseen forces holding you steady while you learn to run this new kind of energy… the energy of oneness with Divine purpose. It is your Divine connection, hosted in a human shell. Long ago, before you ever came into this life, you chose to embody this energy at this time. It is your contribution to the shift of the ages, and now is your time to fulfill that agreement.
The energy of Divine oneness or unity is the most powerful force in the Universe. It is powerful enough to constrain you when you try to separate from Divine guidance at your core and assert your human will.
In the old way of life, we learned to accomplish goals by asserting our human, ego wills in the external reality. We were conditioned to be willful and determined, wanting whatever we chose to have when we decided to have it.
This way no longer works. When we push forward through our human ego in the new energy that surrounds us now, there are numerous obstacles constraining us.
To move past these constraints, we have to give up the drive to accomplish things by sheer force of will. Instead, we need to align with the power of All That Is. We need to surrender to trust: trust in the Divine, in Higher Guidance, in Spirit, God… whatever you choose to call the essential life force energy.
When we choose to trust, the energy of the ego yields and aligns to a bigger plan – the higher picture of Divine perfection. From that place of alignment, we are able to flow with creative energies to create a higher reality than we could have ever conceived of before.
It is no longer possible to more forward in ego and still make spiritual progress. The constraining force of Spirit will block your movement at every turn – the old ways of doing need to be surrendered to embrace higher ways of being.
Spirit will get you through this time of transition, no matter how difficult it feels. Those same unseen forces that hold you steady now, can and will lift you out of the illusion of despair. All it takes is for you to let go of the old way of using power, and to embrace the path of alignment – the pathway of trust and allowing.
We are living in a very different reality now than we were in even five years ago. The old life with its hopes and dreams, has been filed away in the archives of All That Is. To keep looking for it, merely deters our progress.
Instead, now is the time to embrace what shows up in your life moment by moment. Look for new ways to reframe things, new tools to do things with.
Go inward. Drink deep from the wellspring of life. Let the timeless wisdom and healing energy of sacred teaching wash over you to renew your soul. Develop a dialogue with Spirit and ask for guidance and clarity.
Stay present in the moment and allow the answers to flow to you through circumstances.
When action is indicated, do it. When circumstances open up for you, move forward. And when doors close, don’t try to break through them. Sometimes, we need to spend a while living in the in-between: learning to let go of the need to control, the need to logically understand.
At times like these, we need to ask ourselves what we really want and why…even as we surrender the need to know how it will come about. We need to simply align to the Eternal Presence and be present, be patient, and be still.
You don’t lack power. You are a powerful being. What you lack is remembrance. There is nothing wrong with you that complete remembrance will not heal. Like survivors who buried the unbearable agony of trauma beneath a layer of amnesia until they are ready to process it, we have chosen not to remember everything at once. As we proceed on the path we are shown, more is revealed to us. Through the integration and healing of each memory that surfaces, we reclaim our wholeness and power.
Powerful new healing modalities and tools for personal growth are emerging at this time to support our transformation. We are indeed blessed to live at this pivotal time in history – and this blessing carries with it the clarion call to learn, to grow, to heal and to transform our world. Do you hear the call?
For many centuries, mystics lived on the fringe of society. They did not mix with the masses or participate in affairs of the world. This has all changed. Today, the level of consciousness on the planet has tipped the scales to offer potential for unprecedented growth and change.
Spiritually awakened beings are called to participate in this worldwide shift by becoming mystics in the marketplace – not on the mountain or in the monastery. We are called to be the change we desire to see in the world, as Gandhi said.
To answer the call, you need to learn how to commune with your soul to access the inner guidance that is stirring there. Every change that you wish to see in society starts with you and the field of consciousness that you are holding.
You are called to be the very change you desire to see in the world, and you change the world around you through the power of your evolving consciousness. As you consciously evolve in response to the Divine nature within, you hold the higher energies of the life force field wherein everyone’s consciousness can evolve. In a world crying for healing, there is no greater service you can offer!
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Jun 27, 2014 | Body Mind Spirit, Change bad habits, Conscious living, Healthy boundaries, Life coaching
Compassion is essential to human well-being and should be practiced by all of us. To do so, we need to discern between healthy compassion and its cheap imitations: pity and blind compassion.
The cheap counterfeits to true compassion operate on avoidance. Pity seeks to avoid involvement and confrontation by placating from a distance. Blind compassion avoids tough love and defending healthy boundaries. It cuts everyone far too much slack, making excuses for others’ behavior and acting nice in situations that require a clear voice of dissent and personal boundaries.
We often turn a blind eye to the actual issues confronting us and resort instead to the wishy-washy approach of blind compassion which keeps love too meek and kind. Why do we do this?
Most of the time, we practice mealy-mouthed, blind compassion because we mistakenly think compassion should be meek. We are also afraid of upsetting anyone, and we wish to avoid confrontation. Ugh! By compromising on our truth, we turn into resonance junkies who are afraid to say “no” and try to please everyone around us instead.
There is a price to pay for this compromise. When we’re afraid to say “no” with any real authority, our “yes” also becomes anemic and powerless. And by muting our truth, this wishy-washy attitude reflects a lack of compassion and respect for ourselves.
Blind compassion also causes conflicted emotions in us: it confuses anger with aggression, forcefulness with violence, judgment with condemnation, caring with exaggerated tolerance, and moral maturity with spiritual correctness. It ultimately frames us as powerless victims because it silences our inner truth while tolerating and empowering the neurotic, boundary-bashing behavior of others.
In order for us to take our power back and live from a place of true compassion, we need to first return to being honest with ourselves. We need to acknowledge the pain, fear or threat that is triggered in us by others. By honestly allowing ourselves to feel the full emotional impact of what we have experienced, we are able to neutralize and forgive it.
Authentic forgiveness becomes possible only when we give ourselves permission to feel our hurt and meet it with true compassion. It also requires our willingness to experience some interim relationship conflict as we interrupt the dysfunction that has caused the pain.
When we act from this place of self-honesty and forgiveness, we access the power of true compassion. That true compassion empowers us to take appropriate action when necessary. It can be fierce when it needs to interrupt neurotic behavior, without any loss of caring in the process.
True compassion is a powerful form of tough love which ultimately leads to respect and clarity in relationship with ourselves and others.
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
