by Ada Porat | Aug 28, 2014 | Body Mind Spirit, Change bad habits, Conscious living, Decision-making, Healthy boundaries, Mindfulness
Ever wish that you could simplify your life by tuning down the daily stress to find more balance? If so, you’re not alone.
Stress is a destructive by-product of modern life that can wreak havoc at many levels. It can corrode your health, your work performance, your relationships and your well-being until you break down at your weakest link.
Add to that the bad habit of juggling too many commitments while being bombarded by a steady stream of social media, email, advertising and other forms of energetic spam, and it can turn downright nasty. Simply too much information!
No wonder that large numbers of people are joining the voluntary simplicity movement, recognizing how simple living can help alleviate tension-related symptoms such as insomnia, nervousness, anxiety, neck and shoulder spasms and even chronic fatigue.
Now, I’m not advocating that you quit your day job to go live on Walden Pond, but there are ways that you can simplify your life and reduce stress.
If you want to reduce stress in your life, you absolutely need to limit the amount of information you expose yourself to. Being swamped by stimuli does not improve quality of life; it simply causes more stress.
We can all use more simplicity in our lives. From decluttering our closets to weeding out the vampires and energy drains in our lives, an effective approach requires that we address these forms of clutter at all levels: body, mind and spirit.
Here are a few ideas that can help you simplify your life so you’ll have more time to smell the roses:
- Set the appropriate tone for your day. Create a morning routine that influences the rest of your day in a positive manner. Enjoy your morning cuppa outside in nature, start your day with meditation, or do some devotional reading. You will reap the results of peace and calm throughout your day.
- Decide what is most important to you. When you are clear on the important things in your life, it becomes easier to say no to the random demands that may be well-intentioned, but conflict with what’s truly important. Prioritize by acting on the most important things first each day before you assign remaining time and energy to other demands.
- Learn to say no without guilt. Over-extending yourself complicates your life. Learn to say ‘no’ when you are unable to accommodate demands with a happy heart, and you will find it easier to say ‘yes’ when you are able to. It is important to realize that saying no to some things allows you to say yes to other, more important things.
- Create white space. Instead of stuffing your schedule with activities, leave some space for the unexpected. The extra time will allow you meet your commitments without feeling rushed or overwhelmed. Likewise, resist clutter by leaving some empty space in your physical home or office – it will create a sense of simplicity and you’ll have less cleaning to do!
- Take a media break. By restricting the constant stream of negativity, opinionating and propaganda on mainstream media, you can create space for your own thoughts. Silence is a gift. Learn to embrace pockets of silence in your day and you will find it easier to stay in the present instead of worrying about the future.
- Stop multi-tasking. Have you ever felt ignored by someone who keeps interrupting your conversation to check incoming texts and answer calls? People who do this most likely operate from a place of FOMO – fear of missing out. In reality, their need to be included everywhere all the time creates excessive anxiety. It is also disrespectful of others. When you are with someone, the biggest gift that you can give them is to be fully present with them. There will be enough time afterwards to catch up with other interests.
- Do more with less. Learn how to love and appreciate what you have instead of wanting more. When you express gratitude for the things you have, you signal to the Universe to bring you more of it. Start by expressing gratitude for your eyesight, hearing, and the ability to breathe. Instead of wanting a perfect body, appreciate the beating of your heart. Learn how to turn your circumstances into blessings by looking for what is good and positive about them.
- Evict the vampires in your life! Life is truly too short and too precious to waste time on toxic relationships and frenemies. Always remember that you have the power to remove yourself from negative and abusive people – they will usually not lead the way because of the attention they get from you. You don’t need to demonize another to let go of the relationship; you simply need to recognize when it is no longer a two-way street. Give thanks for what they have taught you, hand them back to the Universe with gratitude, and open your heart to the next person who can share your journey.
- Automate What You Can. When you put some of life’s routine duties on autopilot, you relieve stress in two ways: You save time by not having to do the task and you don’t clutter your mind to remember the task. Start with automating your irrigation system, programming your home thermostat, signing up for automatic bill pay options, or scheduling maintenance services out a few months at a time.
- Do a daily review. At the end of each day, spend a few minutes to review your day. What did you do well? Celebrate your success with gratitude. Did you fail at something? Look at why it did not succeed and what you could do differently the next time, so you don’t have to repeat the mistake. Did some tasks remain undone or new ones arise? Write them down to free your mind so you can have a good night’s rest.
- Take care of your body. A healthy body is much better able to handle stress, while illness can cause great amounts of additional stress. If you want to enjoy quality of life in a stressful world, you cannot afford to neglect your body. At the very times you feel that you simply don’t have enough time to eat a healthy diet, exercise or get enough sleep, it is important to recognize that you need those things the most!
- Renew your spirit. Stressful thoughts and emotions imprint on the cells in a matter of seconds. Just as you need to cleanse your body of accumulated dirt and grime each day, it is important to cleanse your soul as well. You can do that by taking up a meditation practice, engaging in prayer, spiritual learning or personal growth work.
Remember, you are an eternal soul inhabiting a physical body in space and time. Everything that is truly meaningful in life begins and ends with Spirit. The more you shift your perspective from the mundane issues of duality-based reality, to living from the timeless perspective of the soul as observer/witness, the more peace you will experience. It will free you from the superficial urgencies of daily life and help poise you in a place of peace, which is the essence of simplifying your life.
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Jul 25, 2014 | Conscious living, Cope with change, Decision-making, Life transitions
No matter how complex the world we live in, we have the power to bring about change – starting with ourselves. At this very moment, you can take definitive action to change your life for better!
Are you stuck in a dead-end job? You can change that! Perhaps you feel trapped in a relationship dynamic where you rescue everyone in your life. You can change that, too!
Navigating change does not have to be difficult. It merely requires the willingness to let go of what no longer serves you and to embrace the possibilities that beckon.
What is the payoff?
The first step is to ask yourself what payoff you are getting from your current situation. Why are you staying in that dead-end job? Perhaps you’ve chosen to trade your creative freedom or true potential for a sense of security. If that earlier choice is no longer true for you, you can choose again. Perhaps being the rescuer in your relationships used to make you feel needed and important, but lately has been stifling. If earlier choices no longer serve you, it is time to make a change!
What is holding you back?
Next, ask yourself what is holding you back from making the change you know you need. What are you afraid of? Do you feel intimidated by the unknown territory outside your familiar environment, or are you afraid of failure?
Fear is a dream killer! If you want to live a fulfilling, juicy life, you cannot afford to let fear squat in the corners of your mind. You need to recognize fear for the measly illusion it is – False Evidence Appearing Real – and evict it from your life!
Are you willing to let go?
Recognize that in order to have something different – experiences, outcomes and benefits – you need to create space for it first. If you want to change your life, you need to let go of old, outdated dreams and expectations. You may need to let go of the fantasy that you could settle for a job that keeps you just over broke, yet deadens your creativity. Perhaps you need to let go of those draining relationships in your life that only take and never give anything back in return.
When we are stuck in our habitual biases and ways of seeing things, there’s little wiggle room to notice other possibilities. To bring about meaningful change in your life, you may also have to let go of the need to understand or map out everything before you act. The excessive need for certainty usually comes from fear. Let go of the need to control everything, trust in the Unseen Hands that lovingly guide you, and you will make space for new possibilities to emerge.
Stay the course
Finally, it is helpful to remember that changing your life is an organic process. It takes time, it can be messy and you may at times doubt that you’ll make it through to the other end. The more you release your need to control the process, the more awareness you will have the Field of potentiality surrounding you. Once you get out of the way, this Field of potentiality will be free to form and create the very outcomes you desire.
Resistance leads to crisis
Our tendency is to resist the need to change until it storms into our lives as a full-blown crisis. Crisis is not polite; it doesn’t ask for permission or schedule its arrival; it just shows up! Crisis demands change. When it shows up in your life, it demands that you leave behind the safety of the known for uncharted territory. It may completely disregard your terms and wishes.
Whether you are facing change or a full-blown crisis, why not try something new instead of resisting? Let go of the qualifiers and expectations you’ve placed on life to give you a sense of security. Your attachment intensifies your pain! Letting go of preconditions frees you up to embrace the process of change.
Crisis is merely unexpected change at an unexpected level and unexpected time. And change can be transformative, depending on whether you embrace or resist it. Give yourself permission to flow with the process of change in your life, and you will experience its transformative power.
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | May 20, 2014 | Change bad habits, Conscious living, Decision-making, Depression, Fear and anxiety, Life coaching, Mindfulness, Spirituality
Emotions are incredibly powerful. In fact, they color everything in life. But an emotion cannot exist without a thought to drive it and give it life. What’s more, emotions can’t be changed simply because you decide they ought to.
Even if you pride yourself on being highly rational, you probably suspect that your emotions are the strongest force in your existence. You may have trouble figuring out how to change the way you feel, even when you don’t like where it takes you.
Put simply, energy flows where attention goes. And it is in the mind that the battle plays out, because your thoughts and your focus of attention direct the flow of energy – and it is in the mind that they can be changed.
As you change your thoughts, you will notice that your mood, feelings and emotions will follow. In due course, your actions and behaviors will fall into line with your thoughts as well.
Understanding this principle is essential if you want to change your attitude.
Your thoughts don’t travel in one direction only. We take in thoughts; yet we also send them out and project them onto the world outside ourselves. Put differently, whatever we enact in the outside world has its origins in the inside world of our minds – and it is not always lovely!
Once we recognize this, we come close to a real understanding of what self-responsibility is. You and I are collectively responsible for the world outside ourselves. Everything in this world – the good, the bad, and everything in between – begins with thought.
The spiritual description of this process takes it a step further, reminding us that we are actually creating the world outside ourselves through the power of our thinking. War, violence and injustice, as well as goodness, kindness and mercy, are all states of mind originated and sustained by our thoughts. No wonder the Course in Miracles calls the original thought of separation the “tiny, mad idea!”
It is through our thinking and the actions that flow from there that we add to our collective well-being – or not.
The Brahma Kumaris teachers of Peace Of Mind meditation teach the same concept with their statement that “Peace is just a thought away.”
Just imagine how exquisite our world and our lives would be if we consistently let ourselves believe and experience that. We would be able to create peace, have peace and offer peace to one another!
This meaningful change starts with taking charge of our thoughts and harnessing what is known in Buddhism as the monkey mind. Here are five simple steps to change the way you feel:
1. Change your thinking – and you will also change the way you feel.
2. Challenge beliefs that hold you back or harm you – and you will change the way you feel.
3. Notice when you fall into dreary or pessimistic thinking and take positive action instead – and you will change the way you feel.
4. Limit the attention you give to what is going wrong or what is disappointing or hurtful in your life – and you will change the way you feel.
5. Increase the attention you give to what is positive, uplifting, hopeful and supportive – and you will radically change the way you feel.
This all seems so obvious! It begs the question of why we don’t automatically weed out the thoughts that hurt us and cultivate supportive thoughts instead. Why don’t we act decisively, knowing that our feelings will change as we do so?
I believe that we most often allow the monkey mind to run wild simply because we don’t realize that our thoughts drive our behaviors. Nor do we realize that we can do something about those thoughts; that we can direct them instead of being overwhelmed by them.
You and I know better now! We can change our thoughts at any time by using these five simple skills to challenge, change, notice, and limit negative thoughts so we can increase our focus on what is positive. In so doing, our emotional well-being will thrive.
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Mar 25, 2014 | Change bad habits, Conscious living, Cope with change, Decision-making, Fear and anxiety, Life transitions, Spirituality
“Crisis is the dangerous breaking of glass that opens locked windows of opportunity that require perceptiveness and courage to move through with care.”
~Tom Atlee, Co-Intelligence Institute
The winds of change are blowing all around, exposing long-held beliefs and calling for a paradigm change. Do you have the courage and awareness to navigate these challenging times?
You have a powerful tool within you that can help you turn the most perilous situation into an opportunity for growth. It all depends on changing your perspective; how you look at things.
Wayne Dyer once said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at, change.” It is by changing your perspective, that you tap into your potential.
Around us, many souls are held spell-bound by the fear and drama of a changing world. Worries about economic threats, political turmoil and uncertainties around the future have their blood pressure soaring along with their credit card debt. Fear has become a powerful tool in the struggle for polarization and can bog down efforts toward meaningful change.
No wonder that increasing numbers of people are seeking out pharmaceuticals to treat their depression and anxiety in an attempt to maintain functionality, while avoiding the deeper cause and ignoring the signal that something is wrong.
Clearly, when we look out at the world, it appears to be filled with broken systems and people that need fixing. But at the crossroads between the outside world and our inner landscape, the fixing needs to happen inside us if we ever hope to see it change out there. If we want things to change, changing our perspective needs to happen first – we need to change the way we look at things!
It has been said that evolution, like water behind a dam, knows where all the cracks are, and is working on them right now with increasing intensity.
Could it be that something new is trying to happen, seeking the transformation of the whole by requiring the healing of our individual cracks and weaknesses as individuals? Is it possible that the topsy-turvy world out there is out of balance because of an intensified spiritual energy seeking to reawaken the true values of the heart in us – compassion, generosity, forgiveness, and a desire to live in harmony with others?
I propose that the only way forward through this mine field is by changing your perspective. You need to acknowledge and even to embrace the challenges in your life as the messengers they are: harbingers of a Higher Truth that highlights the empty, loveless or meaningless places in your life that yearn for more meaning and truth.
If you continue to anxiously hold onto the way things were, resisting change and wanting no disruption in your life, you will also avoid the potential for growth and evolution, because your personal status quo is closely tied to the larger sense of malaise on the planet.
I remember being surprised years ago when I read Care of the Soul by Thomas Moore. He titled one of the chapters “The Gift of Depression.” I had to think about that.
What if you and I learned to suffer more effectively? How would things change for better if you could see problems and solutions as parts of the same coin, instead of failing to notice the opportunities offered by challenges? It requires changing your perspective.
In a world where everything is interconnected, the seeds of today’s suffering may well grow into the fruits that become tomorrow’s happiness. Think back for a moment: who would you be today if it weren’t for your suffering? Did the hardships not contribute to the deepening of your faith and the strengthening of your resilience? In fact, there is a jewel of awareness and growth offered in almost every tribulation.
It is the decisions you made at each point along the course of your life that determined the ultimate outcomes you are experiencing now. And how are they working for you?
If you want to experience different outcomes, you need to make different choices. Have you ever considered what might happen if you make different choices? Or embraced the unknown? Or if you dared to think out of the box and allowed for new possibilities to emerge? Or had the courage to go within, changing your perspective?
Ah, the sky is the limit! Your biggest obstacles are not the circumstances out there that you face; it is your inner resistance that is born of fear. And once you become aware of this, you can embrace changing your perspective, step out of fear and open your heart to the possibilities instead.
As you learn to step into the opportunity to make powerful decisions as individuals, I believe that you will also find the potential within to restore love, hope and unity to the wider world around you.
You could, as Tom Atlee suggests, “use your differences and challenges creatively, not simply as problems to avoid or solve, but as signs of new life pushing to emerge – and as invitations into a new, more whole tomorrow.”
In the coming days, it may be very useful to remember this invitation. Profound changes are ahead and your ability to move forward gracefully, rather than kicking and screaming, depends on changing your perspective.
When you choose to perceive problems as opportunities, you will find the courage to let go of the past and step into the rich possibilities of a future filled with potential to create the lives, the outcomes and the world you yearn for.
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Feb 28, 2014 | Decision-making, Physical health
Your gut is home to over 500 bacterial species. Some of these internal guests are known as friendly flora because they facilitate digestion, provide nutrients, and help form the immune system. Harmful or excessive levels of other bacteria are associated with gaining weight, bloating and immune dysfunction. Probiotics maintain balance between these good guys and bad guys.
Healthy bacteria make some important nutrients such as B vitamins, vitamin K, folate, and some short-chain fatty acids. Up to 10% of your daily energy needs can be derived from by-products of these friendly gut bacteria.
For optimal health, maintaining balance between healthy and unhealthy bacteria is important, and that is where probiotics comes in. Probiotics help maintain balance between the friendly and harmful bacteria to ensure multiple benefits for your immune system. When probiotics are abundant in your body, it’s harder for disease-causing bacteria to flourish. Some probiotics strains also make bacteriocins to suppress the growth of harmful bacteria.
When it comes to probiotics, more is not necessarily better. Instead, you may do better to handpick a few specific strains of probiotics to meet your individual health needs, rather than randomly taking a high-potency, full-spectrum formula that may aggravate symptoms.
Here is a basic overview of four strains of probiotics, including some key members of each and how they could help you address specific health issues. While not exhaustive, this will serve as a starting point for your next probiotics shopping trip:
1. Lactobacillus
Lactobacillus is a term for a family of friendly bacteria that normally live in the digestive, urinary, and genital systems without causing disease. Lactobacillus is also found in some fermented foods like yogurt and in dietary supplements. Members of this family of bacteria are used to treating and preventing diarrhea, including infectious types and diarrhea associated with using antibiotics. Here are a few specific members of the Lactobacillus family you want to look for when treating specific conditions:
• Lactobacillus acidophilus produces vitamin K, lactase, and anti-microbial substances such as acidolin, acidophilin, lactocidin, and bacteriocin. It helps reverse constipation, especially when taken with fiber and extra water. Lactobacillus acidophilus may also be helpful to reduce cholesterol levels.
• Lactobacillus acidophilus and Lactobacillus casei both convert lactose into lactic acid – helping the lactose intolerant. They boost immunity in the small intestine by producing bacteriocins.
• Lactobacillus bulgaricus can be found in many yogurts and soft cheeses. It helps to convert lactose and other sugars into lactic acid, which may be particularly helpful for the lactose intolerant. It also helps reduce cholesterol levels, breaks down complex proteins for easy assimilation, and alleviates acid reflux.
• Lactobacillus gasseri has been shown to reduce belly fat, relieve irritable bowel syndrome, restore microflora balance, reduce various types of diarrhea, optimize natural immune function; protect against the flu virus and prevent colonisation of Helicobacter pylori.
• Lactobacillus helveticus improves arterial stiffness, supports bone mineral density and increases calcium absorption in postmenopausal women.
• Lactobacillus plantarum is one of the best probiotics for IBS symptoms by reducing the frequency and intensity of abdominal pain and bloating. It has also been shown to help normalize bowel movements in IBS patients.
• Lactobacillus plantarum, Bifidobacterium infantis and Saccharomyces boulardii taken together are the strains of choice for IBS and bloating.
• Lactobaccillus rhamnosus has been shown to assist weight loss. It also prevents eczema, treats diarrhea, relieves abdominal pain associated with irritable bowel, and decreases upper respiratory tract infections.
2. Bifidobacteria
Bifidobacteria is a family of bacteria that has been studied for their ability to prevent and treat various gastrointestinal disorders, including infections, irritable bowel syndrome and constipation. In addition to making lactic acid, they also make important short-chain fatty acids to be absorbed by the body. There is even evidence that certain bifidobacteria may actually protect the host from carcinogenic activity of other intestinal flora. Here are a few of the most common strains:
• Bifidobacterium infantis is particularly helpful for diarrhea, constipation, bloating, gas, urgency and abdominal discomfort.
• Bifidobacterium lactis speeds up the frequency of bowel movements as effectively as fiber, simultaneously improving symptoms of constipation, irregular bowel movements, and flatulence.
• Bifidobacterium longum and other lactic acid producing bacteria help support immune system function and are the probiotics of choice to restore internal balance after a course of antibiotics.
3. Streptococcus
Streptococcus is the name of a genus of Gram-positive, non-sporulating, chain-forming, lactic-acid bacteria. They can be harmful such as the strains of streptococcus that cause pneumonia or strep throat, but not all streptococci are bad for you. Some of the beneficial streptococci used in probiotics are Streptococcus thermophilus and Streptococcus salivarius.
• Streptococcus salivarius colonizes in the mouth and upper respiratory system, and is excellent for combating bad breath (halitosis).
• Streptococcus thermophilus is found in yogurt and cheese, and assists Lactobacillus bulgaricus by making growth nutrients.
4. Saccharomyces
Saccharomyces is the kind of yeast you want in order to be healthy. These yeast species lack the ability to penetrate into tissues like Candida species can, so they are not invasive. They are unaffected by antibiotics and do not acquire antibiotic-resistant genes – in short, they are very different from the harmful types of yeast that cause vaginal yeast infections, athlete’s foot, jock itch, ringworm or thrush.
• Saccharomyces boulardii can help to keep disease-causing microbes and yeasts such as candida from overwhelming your body when antibiotics kill off most of the good bacteria.
Shopping for a Probiotic
When it comes to probiotics, more is not always better! Look for a product that contains the specific strains needed for your condition instead of a product that promises to contain all probiotics known to man, and which may cause you more intestinal discomfort. These little guys are living things and die off over time, so look for freshness as indicated by the expiration date. Whatever the source, always look for “live and active cultures” on the label.
Start Out Slowly
In order to reap the full benefits of taking probiotics, some experts recommend taking probiotics for a minimum of two weeks at a time. In the short-term, adding probiotics to your diet may cause gas, flatulence, belching and bloating. Start with small doses of probiotics and gradually increase the amount you take – start with one capsule of probiotic a day for the first week and add one more the following week to prevent excessive bloating and side effects. And as always, consult with your medical team on any known health condition so you won’t fly blind. Here’s to your gut health!
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Jan 30, 2014 | Change bad habits, Conscious living, Cope with change, Decision-making, Depression, Fear and anxiety, Gratitude, Life coaching
By Kane Matthews and the Xtend Life Team
Reprinted with permission
A continued state of high stress about what could go wrong is not good for our well-being. If you’ve read the works of Nostradamus, you might see the end of the world lurking around every single corner.
You probably also saw people spending time worrying that the world would come to an end along with the Mayan calendar in December of last year. Let’s not forget movies have sold millions of tickets about Martians invading. For some people this is a welcome and brief entertainment, for others this is an ongoing cause of concern.
Extreme religious sects have based their entire teachings on ‘end-of-the-world-beliefs’ – Harold Camping preached that the world would end on May 21, 2011 – a movement that controls followers through the use of fear.
Fear and worry – especially unmanageable ones such as end-of-the-world prophesies – can be big roadblocks to happiness, for a variety of different reasons.
“A mind that is afraid withers away; it cannot function properly,” wrote Jiddu Kristnamurti in his book On Fear.
Not only that, but fear can stop you in your tracks, bringing about a sense of stagnation – almost as if you’re waiting around for something. As you worry and fret, you’re putting stress on your body and mind, and as you’re on high alert for something that may never come, you’re wasting time that could be spent making life improvements and increasing your happiness.
“The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out… and do it,” said Susan J. Jeffers in Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway.
Sure, sometimes life throws boulders in our path. We fail to get the promotion we worked so hard for, the person we thought was “the one” decides to break it off or a natural disaster strikes too close to home.
Even after a boulder passes, there will likely be others to follow. Of course we could climb into bed and cocoon ourselves against the problems of the world, waiting for happiness to miraculously drive up and knock on our doors, or we could face our fears and fight them off in a true quest for happiness.
According to Dr. Timothy Sharp, author of The Happiness Handbook and founder of the Happiness Institute, as with anything, it takes work to be happy.
“Those who fail to plan, plan to fail,” said Sharp. “Just like in any other life domain, the pursuit of happiness requires planning.”
But by taking action and working at happiness, we create the opportunity to realize that we are more capable than we might have ever known, boosting our self-esteem and making us feel better about ourselves in the process.
By setting goals to be happy and doing things that make you happy – essentially putting in the work – you can rock yourself out of the waiting game and sow the seeds of real happiness with clear, concise actions.
See the good in the now.
Look around you and truly recognize what it is about your life that is good. Knowing how to focus on the good rather than the bad can change perceptions, meaning that instead of planning for the end of the world, you’ll instead be looking ahead to tomorrow with expectation and excitement.
“The only moment in which we can be truly happy is the present moment,” said Sharp. “The only moment over which we have control is the present moment. So be happy now. Because if not now, then when?”
This means that as difficult as may be, it’s important to stop waiting around for happiness to come.
You can say “I’ll be happy when I land the dream job, lose the weight or get married,” but chances are pretty good that even if you do land the dream job, reach your goal weight or find your soul mate, you’ll still find yourself putting off happiness for some other goal.
Even if your life is not exactly what you’ve always hoped for right now, recognize what is good about it and revel in it. Finding happiness in the now doesn’t have to be a measure of what you have, but rather how you see your life and the good things in it.
Celebrating the good in all its forms is vital to happiness.
Understand that we all make mistakes, and some of them can be pretty big ones. But we can learn from them, and grow because of those lessons, no matter how painful.
Because of the errors we’ve made, like a broken bone that heals even stronger, we are better than we were before because we know more. Rather than dwelling on those mistakes, see them as opportunities for growth, and appreciate the blessing.
Train yourself to find the positive side.
The song “Keep on the Sunny Side of Life” was written in 1889, but the idea remains absolutely true. No matter what comes your way, finding the light present in the darkness is key to real happiness.
The Dalai Lama said, “The central method for achieving a happier life is to train your mind in a daily practice that weakens negative attitudes and strengthens positive ones.”
While the idea of positive affirmations might seem simplistic, finding a way to replace the negatives with positives are key to ensuring that we feel amazing and capable, every day of our lives. The Power of Positive Thinking became a bestseller for Norman Vincent Peale because the idea works.
According to self-help guru Anthony Robbins, affirmations help unleash the power within, reminding us that we are able to accomplish dreams and goals by erasing the self-doubt and negativity that can erode happiness.
Negativity is like a curtain that blocks the sun. Since the sun is an essential nutrient to grow and heal, opening the curtains and letting the sunlight in through positive affirmations can ease bad feelings and create a sense of hopefulness where once was despair.
Keep the following affirmations in your arsenal to haul out when times are tough:
• Every day in every way I am getting better and better.
• The past is gone. I live only in the present.
• My good comes from everywhere and everyone. All is well in my world.
After time – because your mind flexes and responds to this new way of thinking – you will begin to turn more naturally to positive thoughts, while the negative ones are kept at bay.
By insulating yourself from negativity, you’ll also be protecting your health, according to Dr. Christopher Peterson of the University of Michigan, who found that optimistic people have a stronger immune system than their pessimistic cousins. Optimists tend to take better care of themselves, Peterson said, and therefore feel better – and happier – as well.
Have gratitude for the little things.
Whether it’s a sunny day, a kiss from a puppy or a fuzzy blanket on a cold day, take the time to appreciate the small things in life, writes author Gretchen Rubin in Good Housekeeping magazine.
“I’ve long been haunted by the words of the French writer Colette: ‘What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.’ That quote is why I’ve been working hard at finding happiness in the small, ordinary details in life and appreciating the adventure of everyday existence,” she writes.
Life has its highs and its lows. But being aware of what’s good in your life can make those lows feel easier to bear.
To reinforce those good feelings, try to do things that you enjoy every day.
Whether you find happiness in sipping a cup of tea while watching birds from your porch, spending time with your partner, taking a long bath or walking in the woods, make time as often as possible to do the things you enjoy doing.
Make a move.
Sometimes, a big jolt of change can do the trick and transform your life from bad to good and release a sense of happiness.
If you find yourself immersed in misery, fear and worry, maybe it’s time for a change of scenery. Clearly, your job, your relationship, whatever it is that’s going on in your life, isn’t working. If you’re in a situation to make changes, doing so can make a big difference.
“You have been blessed with immeasurable power to make positive changes in your life,” said Steve Maraboli in his book Life, the Truth, and Being Free.
Ultimately, our happiness rests in our own hands, and we alone have the power to make the changes we need to be happy.
Sticking around in a bad situation can leave you feeling stagnant – if you do what you’ve always done, you will get the same results, many experts have said – but making a move, taking on fear and doing something unexpected, can reveal inner strength that you never realized you had.
“We can’t be afraid of change,” said C. JoyBell C., author of The Sun is Snowing and other poetic works. “You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea.
“There is fun to be done. Make it a point every day to tell yourself that today, on this new and wonderful day, things are changing. And on this day, anything is possible.
“It may lead to the end of what was once a little world, but remember what the band R.E.M. said about that: ‘It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.’”
This article is reprinted with permission from the monthly Xtend Life newsletter. To learn more about Xtend Life, visit www.xtend-life.com.
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
