by Ada Porat | Nov 14, 2013 | Change bad habits, Conscious living, Cope with change, Decision-making, Life coaching, Life transitions
How resilient are you? Resilience is defined as the ability to return to your original form after being bent, stretched or compressed. It’s the ability to readily recover from illness or adversity. And success depends on your skill at cultivating resilience!
Life’s setbacks and disasters often arrive without prior warning. And while we may not have a choice as to what happens in our lives, we do have a choice in how we respond.
A healthy response requires cultivating inner resilience to recover from setbacks, broken hearts and dreams, financial crisis, loss of a loved one, or health setbacks.
The good news is that you and I can succeed at cultivating resilience. We can exercise it like a muscle, and in the process we can turn the challenging circumstances of our lives into opportunities that deepen our faith and strengthen our very fiber.
Cultivating resilience requires the ability to ask tough questions of yourself and be honest with your answers. If you had something to do with your loss or setback, it is important to accept responsibility for your share of it.
It also requires a sense of responsibility: the understanding that we are all connected and that your actions – for better or for worse – affect others. While you may not have control over the actions of others, accepting full responsibility for your own actions sets you free to respond in a manner that contributes to the greater good.
Cultivating resilience calls for humor to help reframe daunting obstacles and setbacks. When all else fails, learn to laugh at yourself and at the absurdity of your situation. When doctors handed journalist Norman Cousins a grave medical prognosis, he resolved to take charge of the things he could do: he checked himself out of the hospital, embarked on his own healing regimen, watched comedies… and literally laughed himself back to health!
Above all, cultivating resilience calls for faith: faith in your guidance, purpose and potential; faith to commit to life daily; and faith to get back up when circumstances knock you down. Once, when life had knocked me completely off my feet, a friend sent me a card that simply read,
”Fall down
seven times,
stand up eight.”
This Buddhist saying reaffirmed my faith and gave me the courage to keep going.
Every time you get up after a setback, every time you overcome a challenge in life, you develop more resilience.
May you grow, prosper and succeed despite your current challenges. May you grow stronger and more abundant despite the setbacks you’ve suffered in life, and may you cultivate resilience to see you through every challenge!
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Oct 30, 2013 | Conscious living, Cope with change, Fear and anxiety, Life transitions
Humanity has reached the most critical watershed period in its history. To survive this crucial era, we must deal with the consequences of our collective irresponsibility: unresolved global relations, monetary exploitation, misguided technological development, excessive human consumption, hyper-militarization, and exhaustion of environmental resources, to name a few. We are approaching absolute limits in nearly all vital areas, threatening the very survival of mankind. To survive, we need to tap into the transformative power of crisis.
This is the perfect storm of a defining era. It is not some futuristic horror scenario; it is happening in our lives now and we need to face facts. This is the moment to set aside complacency, analyze the evidence, and connect those critical dots. This is not a time for voicing opinions and platitudes; it is a time to tap into the transformative power of crisis by making drastic changes in our behaviors.
Futurist Hardy Schloer calls these times we live in the Consequence Era – a time that spans from 2010 to around 2050 and during which the consequences of past actions are coming due. It is payday and the very survival of our species will be determined by the actions we take now.
In a 2012 article published in the Club of Amsterdam Journal, Schloer outlines ten stages that all societies cycle through: from the first stage of irresponsible exuberance that fosters reckless behavior, to the collapse of unsustainable systems and rebirth of society in stage ten.
Schloer is not alone in his observations. Futurists and visionaries have been calling for urgent action since the 1980s. Recently, the BBC charted a list of changes anticipated in the next 150 years, along with the likelihood of each event occurring. It tracked developments in computing, politics, business, science nature, society and technology. The chart shows a clear shift towards increasing dystopia as we approach 2020, indicating a buildup of social pressure for obsolete systems to give way.
We are well into this Consequence Era and crises seem to everywhere. It is important to note that in our global community, these crises affect each one of us on this planet: rich and poor, North and South, East and West.
We know that the transformative power of crisis can be seen in individual transformations that tend to occur when people are pressed to make changes, often during crisis. Fewer transformations occur when things are going well and there is no apparent need to evolve, because we inherently resist change.
Nothing motivates like fear. Sometimes vision alone is insufficient. At such times, the juxtaposition of a frightening possibility and a sustainable alternative can team up to accelerate our shift to new states of consciousness and behavior.
It is time to look at the bigger milieu that forms the backdrop of our daily lives. We are connected to everything that happens in the world out there, for better and for worse. By connecting the dots of what is happening globally, we can tap into the transformative power of crisis to take effective action locally.
This process requires willingness: willingness to re-examine old assumptions, beliefs and attitudes; willingness to abandon old behaviors; and willingness to incorporate more beneficial practices. And this time, it is not just for the fun of personal growth; our survival depends on it. Are you willing to use the pain and discomfort in your life as fuel to grow?
I believe that we can tap into the transformative power of crisis globally to transform our minds, heal our lives and rebuild our world. It is time to muster the courage for meaningful change. We need to examine the bigger picture, educate ourselves about emerging potentials, and take appropriate action at the individual level. When we can do this, we will find creative ways to ultimately thrive during the Consequence Era.
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Sep 18, 2013 | Body Mind Spirit, Conscious living, Cope with change, Decision-making, Fear and anxiety, Life coaching, Life transitions
Every option seems to have a downside. How do I know what’s best? I’m so confused,” a friend recently complained.
My friend was caught in a quandary familiar to many of us. After losing a well-paying job and pounding the pavement for months to find another, an excellent opportunity had just come up – but it required moving out of state. Now a decision had to be made: stay on unemployment and hope for something to turn up locally, uproot the family to accept the offer out of state… or consider something different altogether?
Every option offered potential benefits as well as the potential for failure. The conversation reminded me of six principles of effective decision-making that the school of life taught me.
1. Decision-making is easy when there are no discrepancies in your value system
Fact is, there are decisions to be made every moment of life. Over time, these choices tend to unfold as failure or success, fulfillment or disappointment, or any of the myriad choices in between. So how can we optimize decision-making and minimize the downside?
A clear understanding of your core values will help you choose well at the decision-making junctions of life. These inner values and your emotions around them form an integral part of the decision-making process. Awareness of your core values makes it easier for you to choose options that are in harmony with those values. In the example above, a bit of probing help my friend recognize her core values, which includes being able to provide for her family. Once she recognized this core value, it was easier for her to embrace the idea of working out of town for a while instead of clinging to the security of the known.
2. Effective decision-making deals decisively with fear
I’ve found that most folk who cling to the comfort and security of their known environment, are doing so from fear: fear of the unknown, fear of failing, fear of making mistakes. If you want to make great decisions, you absolutely need to evict fear from your life. It is a dream killer and a useless waste of energy!
3. Effective decision-making looks at content as well as context
Your inner values and desires constitute the immediate content of your decisions. Beyond that inner world of content, effective decision-making also requires you to consider relevant factors in your external environment. When external factors are ignored, even great decisions can lead to failure. In the example above, some of the external factors my friend needed to consider included the timing of the job offer, overall economic conditions, the availability of other opportunities, and how each decision might impact the family.
4. Effective decision-making requires you to be truthful
Decisions based on inner truth lead to empowerment. Choices that compromise your truth, lead to conflict and confusion.
Socrates observed that each of us chooses what we believe to be optimal, given our level of awareness and insight at the time. Our choices create a resonant frequency field which attracts resonant energies and repels dissonant frequencies. Over time, particles of probability in this attractor field evolve into possibilities that manifest as reality. Our thoughts and choices ultimately manifest as things, so it behooves us to focus on truth!
You cannot live an authentic life while dishonoring your inner truth. There comes a time for each of us when we must choose to honor our truth and let the chips fall where they may. As Marianne Williamson has said, our playing small does not serve the world.
The Course in Miracles teaches that Truth is not frail. Truth can withstand the demands of the ego. It can surmount envy, misconceptions and judgment, because it needs no defense.
True power lies in choosing from within, from the strength of having owned your fears, from the gentleness that you carry with grace. Each time you choose to honor your truth, you are creating more resonance to empower your journey.
5. Effective decision-making needs focused intention
Do you know what is really motivating you? A great way of drilling down to your true intention is by asking yourself effective questions. Answering these questions will help you uncover patterns of self-sabotage, fear or compromise so you can make clear decisions. Author Debbie Ford outlines great questions in her book, The Right Questions. Here are a few:
- Will this choice propel me toward an inspiring future or keep me stuck in the past?
- Will this choice bring me long-term fulfillment or short-term gratification?
- Am I standing in my power or am I trying to please another?
- Am I looking for what is right or for what is wrong?
- Will this choice add to my life force or rob me of energy?
- Will I use this situation as a catalyst to grow or as an excuse to beat myself up?
- Does this choice empower or disempower me?
- Is this an act of self-love or is it an act of self-sabotage?
- Is this an act of faith or is it an act of fear?
6. Effective decision-making requires involvement of body, mind and soul
Finally, sound decision-making requires that you listen to the subtle messages within you at all levels: body, mind and soul. You can learn to tap into your innate wisdom by cultivating healthy connections among your body, mind and soul. Each of these levels communicates in different ways. Take time for meditation or contemplation. It will help you stay centered and at peace. Remain aware of your spiritual core guiding you through the physical challenges of life, and you will become effective at decision-making.
Once you’ve made a decision, stay flexible and embrace ambiguity. As additional information surfaces, you may want to adapt to it. Remember, change is usually a messy process! Flexibility makes it easier to navigate through change so you can optimize outcomes.
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Aug 28, 2013 | Conscious living, Cope with change
If you have been concerned about smart meter radiation, you’re in good company. Since electric utilities installed smart meters on consumers’ homes, many people are reporting symptoms of deteriorating health. And it’s not surprising: one smart meter emits hazardous radiation at levels between 60 and 150 times those of a cell phone, and up to 190,000 times per day!
These meters were marketed to consumers as a tool to monitor electricity use, which would result in savings to consumers. The facts indicate otherwise: while smart meters transmit electric usage information directly to the power utility and save the utility the cost of sending out meter readers, many consumers are finding that their electricity bill spikes after installation of the smart meter. One of the reasons for this is that the smart meter uses electricity to transmit information to the utility every few seconds. These wireless signals penetrate walls and buildings and are re-radiated throughout homes and businesses by electrical wiring, metal plumbing, gas lines, metal fences, and more.
According to some scientists, smart meters radiation pushes the levels of electrosmog over the tolerable limit for many individuals. Other forms of electrosmog include dirty electricity, Wi-Fi and radiation from computers and cordless devices such as cell phones and laptops. At going rates of exposure, researchers expect to see an explosion in cancer rates over the next five years in the US – a rather dubious distinction in a country that already leads the western world in cancer rates.
Exposure to radiation from smart meters and other sources emitting electromagnetic frequencies, causes cumulative damage in the human body, including breakdown of the immune system, neurological system and more.
In a recent video interview, Dr. Dietrich Klinghardt from the Klinghardt Acadamy in Seattle, WA, who has pioneered research and treatment protocols for heavy metal toxicity, Lyme’s Disease and autism, calls electromagnetic pollution the silent health epidemic of our time.
General Symptoms of Electromagnetic Hypersensitivity (EHS)
Increasing numbers of individuals are experiencing electromagnetic hypersensitivity (EHS), a medical condition that develops in response to accumulation of smart meter radiation and EMFs in the body.
According to the World Health Organization and the American Academy of Environmental Medicine (AAEM), the cumulative damage caused by exposure to these sources of electrosmog tends to affect patients in the areas where they are most vulnerable. Symptoms include:
Neurological: headaches, dizziness, nausea, difficulty concentrating, memory loss, irritability, depression, anxiety, insomnia, fatigue, weakness, tremors, muscle spasms, numbness, tingling, altered reflexes, muscle/joint pain, leg/foot pain, flu-like symptoms, fever. More severe reactions can include seizures, paralysis, psychosis and stroke.
Cardiac: palpitations, arrhythmias, pain or pressure in chest, low or high blood pressure, slow or fast heart rate, shortness of breath.
Respiratory: sinusitis, bronchitis, pneumonia, asthma.
Dermatological: skin rash, itching, burning, facial flushing.
Ophthalmologic: pain or burning in eyes, pressure in/behind eyes, deteriorating vision, floaters, cataracts.
Others: digestive problems; abdominal pain; enlarged thyroid, testicular/ovarian pain; dryness of lips, tongue, mouth, eyes; great thirst; dehydration; nosebleeds; internal bleeding; altered sugar metabolism; immune abnormalities; redistribution of metals within the body; hair loss; pain in the teeth; deteriorating fillings; impaired sense of smell; ringing in the ears, inflamed or swollen lymph nodes.
Electromagnetic Hypersensitivity Facts:
• Most suffers tend to be women, often 40+
• Symptoms tend to worsen over time and with continued exposure
• Many EHS sufferers also suffer from Multiple Chemical Sensitivity
• Children are significantly affected as they are still developing
• Many improve quickly when returned to an electrically clean environment
With continued exposure to smart meter radiation and other forms of electrosmog, people get progressively worse. According to expert Dr. Olle Johansson, Department of Neuroscience, Karolinska Institute, Stockholm, Sweden who led a study on the issue, the best strategy for recovery is to eliminate and avoid exposure to EMFs:
“70% of respondents suffered from chronic fatigue, headache, concentration problems and other psychosomatic ailments. Somatic problems included impaired vision, smell and hearing as well as skin problems and pains in joints and muscles … we conclude from their information that the only effective protective strategy is avoiding the disturbing EMFs.”
Of all the sources of EMFs in homes, smart meter radiation is the leading pollutant. A great deal of research has been done on the kind of radiation smart meters emit—and much of it is scary.
Radiation Linked To Numerous Health Issues
One comprehensive report is the BioInitiative Report 2012. Written by 29 independent scientists, researchers, and health policy professionals from 10 different countries, this 650-page report cites more than 1,800 recent studies with clear evidence that numerous health issues, including DNA breakage and cancer, are created by exposure to radiation from cell phones, cell towers, power lines and Wi-Fi. This report presents chilling evidence to the unseen dangers of electrosmog.
Smart Meters Often Violate FCC Standards
Sage Associates, an independent research team, published a report entitled “Assessment of Radiofrequency Microwave Radiation Emissions from Smart Meters.” They concluded that smart meter radiation often does not comply with Federal Communications Commission (FCC) safety standards — standards which are inherently insufficient for measuring radiation levels in smart meters.
Set back in 1996, FCC standards were based on studies with healthy 6’2”, 220 lb men exposed for short periods of time — very different from the situation with smart meter radiation, in which women, children and people in fragile health are continuously exposed to radiation, and often from more than one smart meter.
Furthermore, the regulations only tested for thermal damage — and the true health risks researchers are finding are from non-thermal effects. Also, other sources of radiation (such as Wi-Fi, cell phones, and other wireless devices present in today’s homes) were not present in the testing. For all these reasons, the Sage Associates report strongly cautions that smart meters are not safe.
Smart Meters Are NOT Smart!
There’s a growing body of research showing smart meters to emit between 60 and 150 times the frequencies of a single cell phone. Wireless smart meter radiation produces atypical, potent and very short pulsed radio frequencies and microwaves whose biological effects have never been fully tested. They emit these millisecond-long frequency bursts on average 9,600 times a day with a maximum of 190,000 daily transmissions and a peak level emission two and a half times higher than the stated safety signal, as acknowledged by the California utility Pacific Gas and Electric before that State’s Public Utilities Commission. Thus, people in proximity to a smart meter are at risk of significantly greater aggregate exposure than with a cell phone, not to mention the cumulative levels of radio and microwave frequencies affecting people living nearby.
International Organizations Warn About Radiation Health Risks
A number of international organizations have issued strong cautions about all technologies that emit radiation similar to smart meter radiation, including the Council of Europe, the European Environment Agency, UK Trades Union Congress, the International Commission for Electromagnetic Safety, and the Russian Commission for Electromagnetic Safety. The UK Report is calling for withdrawal of all wi-fi in schools because of numerous health risks to the developing brains and nervous systems of children.
The World Health Organization (WHO) and the National Toxicology Program have also studied the effects of non-thermal radiation on human health. Their updated findings indicate that, among other things, radiation can significantly increase the risk of cancer, fetal abnormalities, neuro-degenerative disease and glioma, a deadly brain tumor. They have classified radio frequencies as a possible carcinogen in the same category as lead and DDT. You can access the complete WHO report here.
Most recently, citing the substantial scientific literature on the subject, the American Academy of Environmental Medicine (AAEM) has called for an immediate moratorium on installing smart meters due to smart meter radiation health risks.
What Can You Do About Electrosmog?
Step 1: Educate yourself
The first step is to educate yourself on the facts. If you care about your health and the health of your family, you cannot afford to blithely accept the public relations platitudes put out by utilities. What you don’t know, could kill you.
Dr. Dietrich Klinghardt how smart meter radiation and other forms of electrosmog cause autism and permanent, irreversible cellular damage. Then dig into the archives at www.ElectromagneticHealth.org to discover the findings of leading scientists on the dangers of smart meter radiation. Finally, go to Youtube to learn how Dr. David Gatoff, a naturopathic physician, found ways to help his patients protect themselves from smart meter radiation. The link will take you to the first of three videos by Dr. Gatoff.
The Center for Electrosmog Prevention, a non-profit organization, has a web site with current public health alerts for smart meter radiation and cell phone safety. You can also read more about the dark side of smart meters at www.smartmeterdangers.org.
Since many media outlets have refrained from reporting on the problem, crowd-funding made it possible for an independent documentary on the issue to be produced in 2013. Take Back your Power investigates the benefits and risks of the ubiquitous smart grid program being implemented internationally, with insight from expert researchers, politicians, insiders, physicians and concerned communities.
Step 2: Have your smart meter removed
Contact your power company and tell them how smart meter radiation has impacted your health. Get a letter from your doctor if you need to and insist they replace it with a non wi-fi or analog meter.
If your utility is not willing to work with you, you can take action by downloading legal documentation to give your power utility notice that the smart meter radiation violates your consumer rights, and give the utility a limited time to stop violating the law and your rights by replacing your smart meter with a safe analog unit.
This company, Freedom Taker, also sells analog meters for consumers to self-install, but more importantly, they provide the legal documentation for you as a consumer to send to your non-compliant utility company.
After receiving this notice, if the utility continues to violate the law and fail to provide a safe and lawful analog meter within a reasonable time, you then have the right to defend yourself against their violations of the law and replace the meter yourself.
If your utility is not willing to work with you, you can also join a citizens’ coalition near you to sign petitions to have smart meters removed. You can find grass roots support coalitions on EMF Safety Network here or at Take Back Your Power‘s worldwide directory here.
US citizens are encouraged file a complaint with the US Consumer Products Safety Commission (CPSC). If you have or had smart meter health problems call (800) 638-2772 Monday thru Friday from 8 AM-5:30 PM ET, or submit your complaint at http://SaferProducts.gov. They will record your complaint and pass along the information to the FCC and the FDA as well. Every complaint adds to the body of evidence needed at the government level to take action!
Step 3: Clean up dirty electricity input
Next, take action to clean up the global energy input to your home. Hire an electrician or buy an EF/RF/EMF meter and measure the levels of noise and static from dirty electricity in your home. The Cornet ED75 or ED78 are good multi-function units.
Install a Satic wired-in electricity capacitor on your breaker panel at the main electric inlet for the home to modulate all electric inputs and to clean up dirty electricity. You can also opt for one or more global plug-in units from the same company, Satic USA. Such units offer global surge protection, while they also condition your power lines, reduce electro-magnetic frequencies, regulate voltage, reduce negative harmonics and reduce electric consumption up to 30%. Learn more about Satic technology here or order a Satic capacitor for your home.
Step 4: Clean up radiation seepage from your outlets
Your home’s electrical wiring and copper water pipes can serve as an antenna to amplify electrical noise to dangerously high EMF levels. Use a Graham-Stetzer meter to determine remaining radiation levels from cables and electric outlets, and install plug-in Stetzer EMF filters at all areas where radiation still measures above 30 units on the G-S meter. You can order these items from Bio-Electric Shield.
Step 5: Eliminate Wi-Fi in your home
If you can pick up the Wi-Fi signals of six other neighbors, those emissions are also radiating into your space, adding to the cumulative radiation in your environment. It is important to eliminate unnecessary exposure to Wi-Fi in your home and opt for Ethernet cable connections instead. To learn how to protect yourself from Wi-Fi, computer and laptop emissions in your home, visit BioElectricShield.com.
Step 6: Get rid of cordless phones at home
As far as EMF pollution, the most important culprit at home and at the office, is the use of DECT cordless phones. These devices represent the third leading source of EMF pollution after smart meters and Wi-Fi. They continuously emit microwave signals between 1880 MHz and 1930 MHz around the clock, whereas you can turn your cell phone off or put it on airplane mode! If you want to sleep at night, you really need to eliminate these devices at home. If you really can’t live without your cordless phone, get a low EMF or eco-DECT cordless model such as the Siemens Gigaset S795 cordless phone. These phones still emit radiation, but have two advantages: the nearer the handset to the base when on eco mode, the less radiation is emitted and the less you are exposed; and the base does not emit radiation when the phone is on standby.
Step 7: Protect your personal energy field
So now you may have cleaned up your personal space at home. How can you protect yourself when you are in public spaces, near transmission towers, power lines or surrounded by Wi-Fi? It is essential to protect your body’s electro-magnetic field from these intrusions so they don’t scramble your innate frequencies, resulting in the symptoms or disease conditions discussed earlier.
You may need a personal bio-electric shield to protect your body’s energy field from the harmful interference patterns of electrosmog, both at home and elsewhere. Bio-electric shields are finely tuned modulating units that were developed using Bragg’s Law technology. A personal bioshield attunes to your body’s unique biomagnetic field, and then operates like a personalized Satic capacitor to modulate dissonant frequencies in your immediate environment. By doing that, your personal electromagnetic biofield is protected and strengthened – watch this video to learn how it works.
I have spent a lot of time researching and talking to various manufacturers and scientists about electrosmog in the past few months. I knew that whatever protection I had used in the past, was no longer sufficient and I needed something that can cope with the heightened electrosmog in my environment. In the past, I had taken to wearing not one, but two pendants and a bracelet from a well-known company that promised complete protection, to no avail. It was like a whisper in a storm! I don’t think that the company lied about their products; but rather that their basic copper wire technology is simply not able to cope with the EMF onslaught we are faced with today.
Step 8: Get grounded
One of the factors of modern life is that we seldom experience the ground offered by being barefoot on the earth. Research indicates that symptoms of inflammation, sleep disturbances and electrosmog hypersensitivity can be alleviated by sleeping in a grounded environment. You can get some of the beneficial effects of being in nature by sleeping grounded. The Earthing Starter Kit comes with a grounding sheet and pad which will allow you to be grounded as you sleep or work on a computer and you can purchase it here.
Conclusion
Escalating levels of electrosmog in our environment are affecting all of us – it is an invisible epidemic that can rob us of health, vitality and life force. The good news is that with the proper information, we can protect ourselves. I’m sharing what I learned in the process of reclaiming my health so you can have an easier learning curve than I did!
I had my smart meter removed as soon as I discovered its impact on my health. After a lot of research, I also purchased a Satic capacitor, personal bioshields, room protectors, and other EMF protection products for my home from Dr. Charles Brown and his wife Virginia at Bio Electric Shield. I was so impressed with the ethics and knowledge of Bio Electric Shield, Inc. that I offered to share their brochures with colleagues and clients. In turn, they will offer a 10% discount to everyone that tells them they were referred by Stillpoint Holistic Services.
To order EMF shielding products and/or a personal bioshield from Bio Electric Shield with the 10% discount, use this link www.bioelectricshield.com/Stillpoint and enter your discount code, STILLPOINT (all caps), at checkout or give it to Virginia when ordering by phone at tel. (541) 201-8878 PST.
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Jul 29, 2013 | Body Mind Spirit, Change bad habits, Conscious living, Fear and anxiety, Healthy boundaries, Life coaching
Stress is an inevitable byproduct of modern life, and it is compounded by the fact that most of us have too much to do and too little free time. Your very survival depends on how well you learn to cope with stress.
Are you getting seven hours of free time a day? According to new research from Direct Line Insurance, seven hours – or six hours 59 minutes to be precise – is the minimum we need for perfect work/life balance. The reality, of course, is a different matter. On average, we tend to only get around four free hours daily due to time pressures at work and home.
Work and free time used to coexist in a state of relative equilibrium up until 1995 – around the time that personal computer use really took off. Since then, the optimal balance between work and play has steadily been deteriorating because of longer work hours, increased accessibility of wireless phone and networks, and the resulting stream of 24/7 demands.
Quite frankly, stress is a killer. It is responsible for 40% of work-related illnesses. A large international study recently found that stress can increase the likelihood of a heart attack by almost 50%. Stress has also been implicated in a host of health problems including back pain, heart disease, high blood pressure, migraine, asthma, digestive problems, infertility and allergies.
Moreover, scientists found that an individual is affected as much by their perception of stress as by the actual levels of stress they experience. In other words, stress triggers the body’s physiological fight or flight response, whether the stress is an actual reality or simply something you think about as bad.
In fact, most of our mental or emotional stress is caused by our resistance to what’s happening or to the situation we’re in. Our bodies interpret resistance as stress.
Since it is a fact of modern life, is it essential to your health and well-being that you learn how to cope with stress effectively. And the first strategy is to adjust your attitude.
Adjust Your Attitude
If you expect life to show up in the way that you want, your day can be filled with frustration and stress.
If, on the other hand, you recognize that you do not have absolute control over what shows up in your day, you can let go of resisting it and focus on a more effective response: you can control your attitude and the way you respond to life.
By shifting your attitude to do what you can with what shows up instead of resisting it, you are letting go of the dissonance that causes stress.
Just think about it: today is the very future you’ve been worried and anxious about. Your future has shown up and you are still here, still breathing! Stressing about it did not change the course of time – it merely added to your levels of annoyance, frustration, worry and fear. Stressing does not change the course of life; it simply makes you unhappy and causes disease.
The way I see it, tomorrow will show up anyway. You can choose to stress and worry about it, or you can choose to trust in a benevolent universe doing what it knows to do. And since stress only hurts you, you might as well choose to trust. When you accept that there is an Intelligence far greater than your own that created life and is still at the center of all that unfolds, you will experience peace of mind instead… and you will cope with stress more effectively.
At times, it may appear as if your life is adrift on the stormy seas of life, and there is no land in sight. These are the times when you need to remember that the Universe knows your name. Wherever you may find yourself, you are intimately known – and supported – by your Creator.
The answers may not always show up in the way or at the time you expected – just let go of resisting what shows up and let it guide you to a healthier response. The outcomes may surpass anything you’d imagined!
Once you’ve made this all-important attitude adjustment, there are numerous practical steps you can take to cope with stress. I lump most of them together in two groups: proper self-care and healthy boundaries.
Practice Proper Self-Care
The most common way people cope with stress is by consuming sugar or alcohol. Having an energy drink doesn’t help either – these products are stimulants that ultimately backfire because a stressed body is already hyper-stimulated. Over time, they contribute to adrenal exhaustion or burnout.
Instead, take a break away from your desk when you feel stressed. Move your body – go for a brief walk. Refocus your mind and focus on your breathing. Slow down your breathing; breathe deep into the belly and exhale slowly.
Take care of your body by preparing and enjoying healthy, nutritious meals. Take extra B-vitamins. Have an early night to catch up on sleep.
Call a friend, love your pet or find ways to make you to make you laugh – it is physically impossible for the body to be relaxed and stressed at the same time. A colleague recently told me how he collapsed on the couch after work one night, exhausted from the day’s stress, and started watching Disney cartoons until he’d laughed so much, all the stress drained from his body. His favorite was Donald Duck in Early to Bed – you can watch it on YouTube here.
When you interrupt the body’s physiological response to stress in this way, you prevent it from escalating. Beyond that, you can learn specific relaxation strategies and techniques. You can even take up yoga or go for a massage.
Start by taking small steps: push back against stress by nurturing yourself. Proper self-care or relaxation is not a luxury; it is essential if you want to stay healthy and effective.
Set Healthy Boundaries
Realistically, you may not be able to quit your stressful job cold turkey or move to a desert island to avoid stress. But doing something to cope with stress is clearly better than doing nothing!
Nobody else knows just where your personal limits are, so it is up to you to create healthy boundaries in your life.
Learn to say ‘no.’ Don’t let others guilt you into an onerous commitment that leaves you resentful because you are spread too thin. Say no without guilt, and you will be able to say yes with a happy heart when the right opportunity shows up.
Review your support system. Are too many people draining your energy? Are your friendships providing support and sustenance for both parties? Perhaps it is time to eliminate the frenemies who leave you drained, or to enlarge your circle for more comprehensive support.
After an intense workday, set healthy boundaries by turning off your phone when you finally get to spend time with family. And just as you would schedule a meeting at work, you need to schedule enjoyable activities during your free time.
Take a sabbatical. Friends have learned that I do not respond to email or socialize on Sundays. I fast words – taking a much needed break to spend time in nature, meditate, garden or even just watch the birds at the feeder. This mini-sabbatical lets me start the workweek with renewed clarity and vigor.
Above all, know that you are not alone. Everyone deals with stress; yet you can learn to cope better by learning skills to adjust your attitude, practice proper self-care and set healthy boundaries.
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