by Ada Porat | Oct 22, 2015 | Conscious living, Spirituality
Whenever good or bad fortune strikes, most of us spend some time pondering why it happened. We do this because the conditioned mind reasons there must be some meaning to it, just as it seeks to find meaning behind all of life’s events.
The mind always looks for meaning in everything. In fact, it is not the event itself, but the meaning that the mind attaches to an event, that brings either pleasure or suffering. The event may also be thought to reflect either God’s favor or disfavor, which further divides our thinking into a sense of pride or guilt.
However, the meaning we attach to a situation is by no means an absolute indication of its true content. We see this principle perhaps most clearly demonstrated at a sports event where the winning team’s fans respond to the score with loud cheers, while the supporters of the losing team respond to the same score with alarm, anger, or frustration. Same score, different responses based on the meaning attached to it by the spectators.
The meaning we attach to events also brings a value judgment into the picture. No longer do we see the game score simply as a score; we now look for why it happened. Sports commentators spend hours discussing the game to determine who did what to whom, and why. “Whose fault was it that the Lakers lost,” we ask. “Is that good or bad?” By labeling what happened, we think that we can deal with it better: it will justify our becoming defensive, or angry, or hurt, or victimized.
So it is the meaning that we attach to the passing parade of life’s events that pulls us into emotional turbulence. It drives us toward separation, from where we no longer respond to the event, but instead react to the meaning we have attached to the event. No longer is it just another event; it now becomes personalized as a me and a you; a winner and a loser; a victimizer and a victim; my suffering because of your actions. And because we attached a value judgment to the event, we now feel justified to react in some way. This is the classic cycle of duality that leads to ever more suffering, anger and despair.
Meaning is a product of dualistic existence. The human ego does not like a lack of control and looks for anything that implies a sense of power. When something happens, then, our minds attempt to attach meaning to it in order to feel some sense of control. In fact, the entire self-help industry is fueled by that desire for personal power, driven by our aversion to suffering.
To summarize, we suffer because not everything goes our way. We suffer because we dread doing the things we don’t want to do but have to do. And we suffer because we can’t have or do the things we want to have or do. We see ourselves as individual personalities with desires that conflict with our circumstances and responsibilities, causing untold pain and suffering.
How do we turn this around?
For this suffering to end, we need to move our perspective out of identification with our human personality and its ego-based thinking and turn toward identification with our true nature as souls. We need to turn inward toward the Source of our being, where happiness is independent of external things. When we do that, emotional suffering can end.
Indian teacher Ramesh Balsekar stated this process eloquently in A Net of Jewels, where he says,
“Essentially, what the average person wants out of life is just one thing: happiness. It is in this quest that he goes through life day after day, believing that he will somehow, someday find final satisfaction through the things and circumstances of his world. There comes a time, however, when man gets utterly tired, physically and mentally, of this constant search because he finds that it never ends. He comes to the startling discovery that every kind of satisfaction has within itself the roots of pain and torment. At this stage his search cannot but take the turn inwards toward that happiness which is independent of external things.”
The essence of manifest existence is continuous change from birth to death. With physical existence comes the will to live, to survive, to resist threat – and this will resides in the ego. The human ego drives the thinking mind and all our misery in the ensuing attempts to avoid the inevitable.
Life presents problems because our ego nature resists the process of life; we don’t accept what is there in the present moment. We want to become something other than what we now are, have something other than what we now have and so on.
Put another way, pain is a natural part of human life; suffering is optional.
Suffering is a consequence of identification with the ego self and its physical domain. If we feel that we are limited bodies of protoplasma, we will feel a need to resist or control whatever happens to us.
When we shift our perspective back to our true nature as eternal souls, we realize that we are more than what happens to our bodies. We do not need to control or resist what is happening because what happens out there, cannot threaten our true nature within. We also don’t need to label, react or judge anything that happens out there.
Birth, life, good fortune, misfortune, and death simply happen, and have no meaning of their own. Any thought about their meaning is just a thought that has no more meaning than any other thought. The Course in Miracles teaches this principle early on because if we want to find inner peace, it is important to learn to distinguish between what happens out there, and the meaning we attach to it. When we can detach from the meaning we have allocated to any given event, we are able to find a place of neutrality.
In the world of spirituality or non-duality, life no longer requires labels to give it meaning. In non-duality, the essence shows forth its truth and requires no meaning or labels. What it is, is self-evident. It makes no sense to ask what the meaning is of Love, Being, Presence, or Awareness. The very essence of non-duality is Love, Being, Presence and Awareness, so the notion of meaning is superfluous.
Spiritual practice is the discipline of undoing the conditioning of ego and the thinking mind, while learning to align with higher Truth – the principle that guides our souls. A healthy spiritual practice will consist of learning, devotion (prayer, meditation or contemplation), practice (ways in which you implement what you’re learning to integrate it) and interaction with like-minded individuals. You may find a fulfilling spiritual practice within a specific religion, order or teaching; or your practice may be more eclectic and ecumenical. Your practice may look different than the practice of another; and it is not important. What is vitally important, however, is that you commit to some form of spiritual practice consistently over time.
Effective spiritual practice relieves suffering by quieting the chatter of the thinking mind. This is necessary for efficient functioning of the mind. A quiet mind is also an end in itself since it is always accompanied by the peace of pure Awareness. In fact, this can be a guide to distinguish between effective and ineffective practices. If suffering is relieved by a practice, it is worth continuing. If it does not, and especially if suffering increases, it is better to discontinue it.
Effective practices further help us detach from all forms of conditioning. A quiet thinking mind allows unconscious conditioning to rise to the awareness of the conscious mind from where it can be cleared. The thinking mind ordinarily represses unwanted thoughts, urges, and desires, which represent the dark side of the ego (the shadow). When repression ceases, the shadow emerges into awareness.
The Indian sage Papaji described this process by saying that when you begin to awaken, all the gods and demons of your past come to reclaim you. The potential of these forms of unconscious conditioning to destroy one’s peace is minimized by the deepening realization that their release represents the dissolution of the ego-based thinking mind. It is also helpful to keep in mind that these emerging forms are finite in number, even when it feels as if the stack of arising emotions is endless.
As we do the work of consistently becoming aware of and clearing limiting patterns of conditioning, we grow in understanding of our true nature. The journey of spiritual awareness requires us to be vigilant and earnest in our commitment to Truth, and to trust the flow of life wherever it takes us; neither for exclusive joy nor for endless suffering, but to gain deeper understanding so we can learn.
This process of learning provides favorable conditions in which the soul can realize its highest potential. That realization is the highest purpose your soul could strive for – it is the true meaning of life and the sole purpose for being in the body.
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Sep 23, 2015 | Abundance, Conscious living, Cope with change, Gratitude, Life transitions, Mindfulness, Self-awareness, Spirituality
Ask anyone in the Western world how they define abundance, and you are likely to hear them talk about material riches and prosperity. And yet, true abundance is so much more!
The definition of an abundant life cannot be satisfied by the presence of material things alone. Jesus knew this when he said that man shall not live by bread alone, but by the living Word or Spirit. He challenged the common assumptions of his time by pointing out that true abundance cannot be confined to merely physical terms.
The common, limited assumption of abundance as a merely physical notion prevails even today. To find lasting fulfillment in life, it is essential for us to question and redefine such limiting social beliefs. We need to understand that true abundance applies at the levels of body, mind and spirit.
In my work, I am blessed to see the power of questioning assumptions every day. Once we become aware of limiting beliefs and behaviors, we can change them. Along the way, we learn to look deeper instead of blindly repeating the same old habits to getting the same old outcomes. By identifying the hidden determinants of our behavior, our lives often shift spontaneously!
One of the primary areas where limitation shows up is in our relationship to abundance – or its opposite, scarcity. In an era of unprecedented abundance in the western world, many still struggle with feeling that there is not enough: not enough to feel complete, not enough to feel safe or secure. We keep accumulating material things that cannot fill the deep emptiness inside our souls.
During feudal times, all wealth was tied to land ownership and material prosperity was a zero-sum game. Abundance was defined by material belongings because there was only so much land, and only so many people could own it. Land owners could build fortresses and tax travelers passing across their property, leading to more wealth. This system led to separation between those who owned land and those who didn’t, the haves and the have-nots.
This belief system is still active as a powerful undercurrent in modern society. With each economic cycle, millions of individuals over-extend themselves to acquire physical assets and wealth during economic booms, only to find their fortunes evaporate when the boom turns into a bust. In some societies, cycles of war and civil unrest strip people of all forms of physical security they may have painstakingly amassed over generations.
But does the loss of physical assets really make you a loser? And does the presence of physical assets alone define you as a winner?
Enlightened teachers like Jesus and the Buddha taught that true abundance is not based on physical assets alone. They proposed that true abundance includes qualities such as integrity, honesty, service, and loving kindness to all forms of life. These teachings pointed to a higher and necessary concept of abundance that still eludes general consensus today.
Talk to people around you and you’ll find many adhering to the outdated belief of measuring abundance by material displays of wealth. Besides that, you’ll find the limiting notion of having to compete against others to secure these limited resources for survival.
Western society is predicated on this outdated assumption that there’s only so much to go around, and that we need to compete with others for these resources on a basis of win/lose. I have to get mine first before you can get yours or the limited supply runs out (think black Friday shopping mobs!)… if you win, I will lose… and on we go, pitting our limiting beliefs against others in an effort to survive. We expand scarcity consciousness to every facet of life: believing that for my faith to be right, yours has to be wrong; for my political party to win, I have to sling mud and make yours look bad; and so on.
If I believe you must lose in order for me to win, or that you must be shamed so I can have value, or that you must be wrong for me to be vindicated, or you must be suppressed for me to feel free, then my sense of happiness becomes dependent on your lack thereof. My experience of life becomes fragmented into opposites, and I end up suffering estrangement from my fellow humans and my true nature. A life lived from such outdated beliefs offers very limited love, serenity and security.
Many forms of duality-based limitations such as these cause untold suffering in the world. Turn to the news and you will find numerous examples of this scarcity-based thinking in us versus them propaganda, xenophobia, social upheaval and marginalization that pervades society.
The Buddha taught his disciples to free themselves from the vice of duality-thinking; to liberate themselves from the opposites of desire and aversion which propel the cycles of scarcity and suffering. It is only when we let go of this misguided struggle for a bit of material security at the cost of happiness, that we are able to poise our minds in peace.
How do we uncouple from the vicious cycle of chasing after material security and finding scarcity instead?
The power lies in our thoughts. Our thoughts contain the seed forms of potential; making change possible in our consciousness, our belief systems and our world.
Physical reality manifests from our imagination and ideas about how things are. As humans, we are gifted with the ability to change the way we think, and hence create different outcomes. We can change the way we look at things and thereby change the outcomes!
Instead of seeing the world as a physical pie and ourselves competing against others for a slice of it, we can consciously change our view. Perhaps it is time to recognize that energy is never destroyed; it simply changes form. We can expand our definition of true abundance to include all its myriad forms: the material as well as the mental, emotional, psychological and spiritual. And perhaps we need to acknowledge that there is enough for all of us, and then share our resources from that perspective.
Changing old mindsets for more appropriate ones may not be as clean or predictable as we’d like. Evolution is messy and uncertain. A clear outcome is not always apparent. To the minds of westerners who like control, reliability and certainty, this can be nerve-wracking. Yet, the alternative is to allow greed to destroy balance in our world and to render humanity extinct.
Times of change call us to trust on a grand level. We need to trust in our Source, ourselves and each other as we redefine true abundance. When we do so, times of upheaval can give birth to new paradigms that better fit our needs.
About the author
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Jul 22, 2015 | Conscious living, Cope with change, Depression, Life coaching, Mindfulness
It’s mid-summer, and almost everyone I know is either on vacation or suffering from post vacation blues. The bliss of getting away from it all is often followed by the despair of returning to daily routine, right!
Vacation can feel like a bit of heaven on earth, followed by intense resistance as we struggle to return to our daily routine. Authentic living requires us to embrace and integrate these seeming opposites, instead of perpetuating the cycle through attachment and aversion.
Ultimately, vacation is a change in routine, not a lack thereof. My granny taught me this lesson early on in life. I’d get home from boarding school, exhausted from the rigid academic schedule and looking forward to some reprieve. But no such luck! My mother would wake me up at dawn the next morning with a cup of coffee and a long list of chores to do! When I complained to Gran, she smiled and said, “My girlie, vacation is a change of occupation, not a lack of occupation.”
Today I understand the wisdom of her words. Changing our daily routine is not only refreshing, it is essential for well-being. Breaking away gives us the opportunity to expand our viewpoints, experiences and skill sets. It can open our perceptions to entirely new possibilities. Studies in brain neurology have show that when the brain is exercised in ways outside the habitual scope of daily routine, it remains resilient and hence more resistant to dementia.
On the flip side, the very freedom of vacation can also contribute to a sense of post vacation blues when we return to our daily lives. From working with clients I have learned that there are three areas that contribute to post vacation blues: returning to a daily routine that somehow feels dissonant, coming back to piles of responsibilities that accumulated while you were gone, and leaving the relaxed, exciting or self-nurturing aspects of your vacation behind.
There are several things you can do to integrate aspects of your vacation into your daily life for ongoing enrichment while mitigating post vacation blues. Here are a few:
Deal with dissonance.
Pay attention to the deeper reasons WHY you might have difficulty returning to your routine. If you still experience post vacation blues after the jet lag has worn off and you’ve been back at work for more than a few days, perhaps there is a deeper reason for your reluctance. Stepping away from your routine may have offered you clarity on the fact that you have outgrown your current work situation, or that the work schedule you’ve been keeping leaves no space for work-life balance; or that your work demands are not aligned with your core values. If you experience any of these deeper sources of dissonance, it may be time for a work or career change.
Plan ahead for peace.
Post vacation blues can leave you feeling overwhelmed by projects, bills and responsibilities that piled up while you were gone. A bit of planning can go a long way to prevent the budget blues. Prepaying aspects of your vacation such as the hotel, flight or rental car will help whittle down credit card balances so you don’t get hit with the whole whammy upon returning. Arrange for a neighbor or student to handle basic chores while you are gone so you don’t return to a dead garden or piled-up chores – or my favorite, schedule someone to clean the house so you return to a clean, tidy home!
Schedule a buffer day at the end of your vacation so you have time to catch up with essentials after you get back. This step can help you avoid all kinds of stress in the event of flight delays, unexpected events or simply returning home exhausted.
Savor the experience.
In our rushed lives, we often forget that vacation consists of more than time away: the first phase involves planning and preparation; the second consists of the actual vacation experience, and the third involves review and integration of that experience into your life.
What were some of the cultural, culinary, experiential or educational highlights of your vacation? How can you integrate some of those aspects into your daily life for ongoing enrichment?
When you integrate positive aspects of your vacation into your daily life, you’ll continue to reap rewards from the time away. One of my clients returned from a trip to France and decided to finally fulfill a lifelong dream of learning French; another decided to start an educational charity after a trip to Africa.
Refresh your daily routine.
One of the most beneficial aspects of vacation has to do with the way it changes up our daily routine – just as my Granny taught me. This is hugely refreshing because it replaces the drudgery of daily life.
You can keep that sense of renewal alive by varying your daily routine at home, too! If your favorite part of vacation was breakfast on the balcony overlooking the mountains, then find a way to bring that mood to your meals at home. Was it the excitement of sightseeing? Most of us have never seen all the sights in our own regions, so plan some weekend getaways year-round.
When you use the joyful moments of your vacation experience as inspiration to freshen and enliven your daily routine, you’ll do more than banishing post vacation blues – you’ll find your everyday life enriched in amazing ways!
About the author
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Jun 22, 2015 | Conscious living, Decision-making, Fear and anxiety, Mindfulness
Here’s one good reason to slow down and watch the clouds float by on a summer’s day: when you slow down – even just enough to watch those clouds – you will change in positive ways as well.
Yes, stepping out of the rat race can change you for the better! Anxious, hurried feelings may imply a temporary sense of self-importance, but they actually rob you of the very poise you need to be self-empowered.
True self-empowerment begins with being able to choose your own direction in life. And to choose your own path, you need to become aware of the direction in which life’s current flows. A wise teacher once told me that awareness is everything. Sometimes, you need to go with the flow of the current in order to change it.
This principle applies wherever you may find yourself in life – whether caught up in the turbulence of a rapidly changing world, or swept along by an inner flood of thoughts and feelings. Like it or not, you’re going where that current goes, whether you are aware of it or not.
As long as you have no awareness of its direction, you have no real choice, but once you become aware of the current, you can respond in ways that empower you and could even change the course of events!
Slowing down allows you to become more aware of your surroundings and your place in it. It gives you the opportunity to become present with your inner guidance, an essential step toward self-empowerment. When you slow down, you can connect to the deeper meaning of life.
Singer/songwriter Neil Diamond put it this way in his song, “Slow It Down:”
“Slow it down, take your time
And you’ll find your time has a meaning…”
Your true nature is not concerned with or bound by linear time. It never feels the need to rush through life, frantically trying to fit more into every day.
When you allow the events or demands of life to dictate your schedule, you pick up your pace to keep up with the anxious feelings generated by these demands. Over time, you may identify with these urgencies as your own inner drive. You may even confuse the false sense of pressure generated by these demands, with true power. Neither is true. You are not the urgencies of your life any more than a cresting tide is the entire ocean.
Author Vernon Howard offers clear guidance to help us stop this mad dash to nowhere:
“Slow down. Relax. Dare to deliberately defy those inner screams that demand you rush nervously around. Instead, obey another quiet voice that assures you that the casual life is the truly powerful and efficient life.”
If you are ready to slow down your life, you can start with a few simple suggestions.
Beginning this very moment, intentionally separate yourself from any rushing inner condition by voluntarily stepping out of it.
Purposefully slow down by consciously reducing your usual speed:
- At half your normal gait, walk over to get your cup of coffee.
- Reach for the phone, your glass of water or your pen at half your normal speed.
- Stick to the speed limit, especially when late for an appointment or feeling rushed.
One practice I find particularly valuable is to pause a few seconds before I answer someone’s question. This conscious act to slow down allows for Higher Wisdom to guide the conversation instead of the ego to jump right in. No wonder ”fools rush in where angels dread to tread!”
Whatever the occasion, you have the power of choosing to slow down, and then to practice stepping out of or redirecting the flow of your life.
Slowing down helps you become aware of your inner self in a new and higher way. This enhanced self-awareness empowers by showing you that you are not your work, your feelings or even your accomplishments. You are limitless consciousness, and you can choose your own path and pace in life.
This summer and every day, I encourage you to slow down and step out of the rush. If you want to find what is Timeless, dare to live as though you have all the time in the world!
About the author
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | May 14, 2015 | Conscious living, Decision-making, Life coaching, Mindfulness
A lot of success coaches and motivational speakers tell you to THINK BIG. They tell you to create a big vision in order to succeed. And I agree – having a big vision is necessary to accomplish big things.
At the same time, even big things are compiled of multiple smaller components – and so I find myself coaching clients to think of small steps instead.
Whenever you are in a tight spot in life, it is important to focus on the goodness of life at the present moment. The past is over and the future is not here yet. This is the perfect time to appreciate what you do have now instead of focusing on fear or lack.
Being laid off is a case in point. If you are out of work and have been for some time, it may be difficult to think about the perfect job or the ultimate contribution you want to make in the world. At this stage of the game, you may just want a paycheck… but now is the time to think small.
This bleak season of uncertainty will pass. Make the most of it by finding small steps where you can make a difference. Spend more time with loved ones, help the children with homework, plant some flowers. You can teach yourself a new skill or take a local adult education class. Revisit your vision for your life; dream a new dream. Being unemployed may feel like a permanent condition. The fact is, it is a season that will surely pass. You are not going to be out of work forever, so take small steps in the areas where you are able to now!
Whenever a project feels huge, it’s time to think small. If the size or complexity of the project overwhelms you, focus on just the next few small steps. Locate the phone numbers you need to call… schedule the time to make the call. Outline the chapters of the book you want to write…commit to writing just one page a day. Unclutter one drawer at a time instead of thinking about uncluttering the whole house. Baby steps will get you there.
Even in business, there’s a place and time for thinking small. When thinking big, we often complicate things with too many ideas and we overwhelm ourselves.
No matter where you are in life, there is always something you can do. If you cannot tackle big things now, don’t dither in indecision – start with small steps! Here are a few pointers to help you take small steps forward with confidence:
- Pick just one or two things to focus on each day. I find that most clients are trying to do too much in too little time. As a result, few things get completed. If you commit to one or two things daily, you’ll get more done and feel less stressed.
- Revel in little things. Go out and literally smell the roses. Slow down and appreciate your surroundings. Taste your food instead of inhaling it. Have meaningful conversation instead of passing interactions. Take small steps forward with appreciation rather than big steps with fear.
- Scale down. Get rid of physical clutter as well as mental clutter. Review your obligations and decide if they still serve you. Do you need to withdraw from some? Clear your mind by doing a brain dump: put your ideas, to-dos and tolerances (those things you are tolerating) down on paper. Prioritize what you choose to do and what you choose to let go; then take small steps to simplify your life.
- Focus on being great at what you do, rather than being the best. The best is the enemy of the great, just as perfection is the enemy of the acceptable. When you choose to be great, you’ll begin to do things from a place of excellence instead of overwhelm. Small and excellent steps trump big and anxious strides in my book any day!
- Allow extra time for everything you do. If doing a task will take ten minutes, allow yourself twenty. That way, you take small steps to build buffer time into your day to cope with unexpected events. If you finish in less time than that… go watch the clouds!
About the author
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
