by Ada Porat | Oct 23, 2020 | Conscious living, Cope with change, Empowering changes, Fear and anxiety, Life skills, Resilience
Photo credit: Daniel Sessler, Unsplash
When we droop with fatigue, overwhelmed by the relentless pace of change, yet yearning for a better life, it is helpful to turn back to basics – hopefully a little wiser. Wouldn’t it be nice to have the heads up on a few things we may encounter along the way?
I sure could have used a few pointers along the way to smooth out the kinks! However, a huge range of life experience taught me some valuable lessons, and I am happy to share them. Here are eight insights from my personal playbook on surviving in this world of marvel and change. May it encourage, embolden and inspire you!
- You will pass from this life leaving an unfinished To Do list behind.
Shocking, isn’t it – and that despite your very best efforts every day! Today more than ever, there’s no reason to assume any fit between demands on your time – all the things you like to do or feel you ought to do – and the amount of time available. Thanks to capitalism, technology and human ambition, these demands keep increasing, while your capacities remain largely fixed. It follows that the attempt to clean up your To Do list is doomed.
The upside is that you need not berate yourself for failing to do it all, since doing it all is structurally impossible. The only viable solution is to make a shift: from a stressed-out rat race trying not to neglect anything, to a life intentionally lived and consciously choosing what to neglect in favor of what matters most.
- When stumped by a life choice, choose enlargement over happiness.
Jungian therapist James Hollis said that major personal decisions should be made not by asking, “Will this make me happy?” but “Will this choice enlarge me or diminish me?” We’re usually terrible at predicting what will make us happy: the issue quickly gets bogged down in our narrow preferences for security and control. Yet choosing enlargement elicits a deeper, intuitive response. You tend to know when leaving or staying in a relationship or a job, even though it might bring short-term security, would mean cheating yourself of growth.
- The capacity to tolerate minor discomfort is a superpower.
It’s shocking to realize how readily we set aside even our greatest ambitions in life, merely to avoid any level of unpleasantness. You already know it won’t kill you to endure the mild agitation of getting back to work on an important project, initiating a difficult conversation with someone, asking somebody out, committing to a workout routine, or checking your bank balance – yet you can waste years in avoidance! This is exactly why social media platforms flourish: they provide an instant, compelling distraction from reality where we can escape to at the first hint of unease.
Instead, you can truly empower yourself by gradually increasing your capacity for discomfort, similar to doing weight training. When you expect an action to bring up feelings of irritability, anxiety or boredom, you can stick to your commitment; let the feelings arise and fade while doing the right action anyway. Once you experience the rewards of tolerating discomfort, it will reinforce this path of walking straight ahead as a more appealing way to live.
- The advice you don’t want to hear is usually the advice you need.
I spent years fixating on becoming hyper-productive before I finally started wondering why I was staking so much of my self-worth on my productivity levels. What I needed wasn’t another personal goal, but asking more uncomfortable questions instead.
Yes, it isn’t fun to confront whatever emotional experiences you’re avoiding – if it were fun, you wouldn’t avoid them – so any advice that could really help is likely to make you uncomfortable, too. And that is okay! If you can muster up the courage to go where you really don’t want to, you may just break through to a deeper level of personal truth.
Be especially wary of celebrities offering advice in public forums: many of them pursue fame to fill an inner void, which tends not to work – so they are likely to be more troubled than you are and by the time you buy their snake oil, they’d have already moved on to the next gig.
Here is a bit of reverse psychology that does work: ask yourself what kind of practices strike you as intolerably cheesy or self-indulgent. Is it a gratitude journal, mindfulness meditation, or seeing a therapist? If you feel resistance rising, it might well mean that the very issue your ego is resisting, is the one worth pursuing.
- The future will never provide the reassurance you seek from it.
As the ancient Greek and Roman Stoics understood, much of our suffering arises from attempting to control what is not in our control. And the main thing we try but fail to control is the future. We want to know, from our vantage point in the present, that things will be OK later on. Yet we never can!
It’s wrong to say we live in especially uncertain times. The future is always uncertain; we’re simply very aware of it in current times.
No amount of fretting will ever alter this truth. Accept that certainty and it will set you free.
While we live in uncertain times, it is still useful to make plans. Make your plans with the awareness that a plan is only ever a present-moment statement of intent, not a lasso thrown around the future to bring it under control. The spiritual teacher Jiddu Krishnamurti said his secret for peace was simple: “I don’t mind what happens.” That does absolve you from trying to make life better for yourself or others. It just means not living each day anxiously braced to see if things work out as you hoped.
- The solution to imposter syndrome is to see that you are one.
In the current era of incompetent leadership, it is not possible to ignore corrupt governments and egocentric self-indulgence amid global threats of destruction to the point of extinction. Yet the way forward lies neither in complaining nor in passively accepting that we are all doomed.
I believe the answer lies in recognizing that you – unconfident, self-conscious, insecure, and all-too-aware-of-your-flaws – you potentially have as much to contribute to your field and to the world as anyone else.
Humanity is divided into two: on the one hand, those who are improvising their way through life, patching solutions together and putting out fires as they go, but deluding themselves by arguing for their limitations; and on the other, those doing exactly the same, except that they know it. It’s infinitely better to apply yourself and accept your failures and successes both as intrinsic parts of life.
Remember, the reason you can’t hear other people’s inner monologues of self-doubt is not because they don’t have them. It’s simply because you only have access to your own mind!
- Selflessness is overrated.
We respectable types, and women especially, are raised to think a life well spent means helping others – and plenty of self-help gurus stand ready to affirm for a price that generosity and sacrifice are the way to happiness. There’s truth here, but it generally gets tangled up with exploitation of deep-seated issues of guilt and self-esteem.
If you think you should be doing more, that’s probably a sign that you should direct more energy toward your true passions and ambitions. As Buddhist teacher Susan Piver said, it feels radical to ask how we’d enjoy spending an hour or day of discretionary time – yet the irony is that you don’t actually benefit anyone else by suppressing your true passions anyway. Instead of being disciplined about hating on yourself to get things done, try being disciplined about remaining close to what brings you joy. It takes a lot of courage, actually.
- Know when to move on.
And then, finally, there’s knowing when something that meant a great deal to you has reached its natural endpoint. All things in life come to an end, both the good and the bad. Your most empowering response is not to bewail the ending or unfairness of it all, or to hang on for dear life until your claw marks scar the very thing you loved most as life pulls it away from you. Your most creative choice in the face of endings, is to let go and to turn to what is next. The rest of life awaits, both for you and for me!
About the author
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Sep 21, 2020 | Conscious living, Cope with change, Empowering changes, Personal growth
Photo credit: Tom Ohlin, Unsplash
Amid well-intended government efforts to inhibit the spread of a worldwide pandemic, many individuals now experience the chokehold and restrictive pressure of autocratic rule. This top-down authoritarian domination of many by a few, imposes subservience to only one official view.
Many individuals realize that the prevailing authoritarian viewpoint is limited, because it represents and tolerates only one view. As new information emerges, we are learning that other viewpoints may have been overlooked or that the magnitude of oppression cannot be justified by the scope of the problem. Many people in the West have never lived under a dictatorship, and so they do not have a frame of reference of how to respond.
How on earth could this situation be helpful to our inner journey of personal growth and peace?
First, we need to understand that nobody is exempt from the winds of change sweeping the planet. Everyone is experiencing some level of turmoil in their lives because they are energetically part of the collective of homo sapiens. There is no possible dismissal around the chaotic shift that is happening, because all humans are experiencing ripples of the same wave.
Next, we need to learn that true freedom comes from within and is not determined by external forms. It is this inner sense of freedom that gave Nelson Mandela the courage to bide his time and keep his faith alive for 27 years of incarceration by a totalitarian regime until the tide changed.
Despite constraints placed on us by external circumstance, most of us have our basic needs met during this time. And with our basic survival needs of food and shelter met, we are called to the next level of existence: to operate from a level of kindness and compassion toward others who may not have as much as we do during this time.
People move toward resistance and protests not because they want to fight, but because they want to do something – anything – to shift the pressure. This reactionary impulse comes from our lower animal survival instinct in the amygdala. It pulls us deeper into primal responses and triggers a similar reactionary response from others.
More than a hundred years ago, Einstein reminded us that we cannot solve a problem from the same level of consciousness where it was created. We need to shift to a higher place before we engage with the challenges we face, or we will get sucked down into that maelstrom of hatred and resistance.
The higher response of lovingkindness calls us to action in a more effective way. Instead of feeding the primal instinct in ourselves and others, we can practice compassion toward other sentient life forms, contribute to someone in need, and exercise lovingkindness to ourselves, fellow humans and the earth.
The change we wish to see in the world around us, must come from within us. When we choose to walk the path of kindness, we allow our Higher self to transcend our lower human nature. We learn to be present; to make conscious choices in each moment and to practice lovingkindness instead of allowing the weeds of fear, hatred and anger to grow inside us and further pollute the collective.
Each one of us has the right to choose our responses to life. This freedom includes the choice to fuel anger, to marginalize others, to judge, fight and oppress; yet while all choices are available to us, not all choices are optimal for our evolving consciousness.
To make choices that ultimately empower us to live our best life, it is helpful to ask ourselves first: Does this choice fuel my soul evolution, or does it feed my lower nature? Does it elevate my consciousness, or does it feed my ego?
When we lean into our true soul nature of lovingkindness in the present moment, it will infuse all our actions to become positive catalysts for change around us.
Instead of reacting to the spectrum of lower human emotions playing out, we can step back from the precipice of reactivity and return to lovingkindness in the present moment. By recognizing the extreme emotions that have led to the reactions we observe in society – fear, lack, frustration, hatred, control desire – we can consciously choose a higher response.
To choose a higher response, we also need remove the pious mask of our conditioned responses to see just how we have been hurting ourselves and others.
First, we need to revisit our use of rights. No hurtful action can be justified by defending it as our right. Whenever we attach to our “rights” we are also taking a dualistic position of right vs. wrong, me vs. other on the issue. We use the concept of rights to lock our actions into a defensive position of duality, and that defeats the purpose of rising to a higher level of consciousness from where the problem can be solved. In truth, all lives matter, and when we can unite our desire for change at higher levels of consciousness, we will be able to transform our world in ways that ripple across all boundaries.
In addition, we need to see the arrogance in our desire to “educate” or correct others. So much of what we’ve labeled kindness, is simply our willful desire for justification and change on our own egoic terms. Our need to educate others on what we perceive as a more enlightened viewpoint about a topic such as mask wearing, further perpetuates the subconscious belief that we are right, we know better, and the other needs to be corrected. It is an ego trap that perpetuates the division between self and other in duality-consciousness.
Then, we need to come back to center. The further apart we are on issues, the more highly charged our emotions and reactions become – a bit like being on opposite ends of a children’s teeter totter. For true growth and evolution, we need to move closer to the center where the stillpoint allows us to observe all the emotions on the spectrum without engaging in extremes.
The only way to diffuse the minefield of survival emotions triggered by sweeping change, is to step out of our lower nature’s craving to exercise our right to protest, judge, label and hate; we need to step into a higher level of consciousness from where we can embody lovingkindness: the true kindness that allows everyone to evolve in their own way and time.
Lovingkindness lets go of inherent divisiveness and judgment. It allows us to look for nuggets of goodness and truth in everyone and everything we encounter. It opens our consciousness to embrace the truth wherever we encounter it. In so doing, the very kindness and truth we thus acknowledge, can expand in the world to bring all us together with new insight and harmony.
The era of judging a book by its cover is over. To find solutions for the challenges we are facing on the planet at this time, we need to stand together – all of us. Solutions require us to look for and focus on the nuggets of truth presented by others, not the splinters of division.
The time of amassing and protecting our individual loot, is done. Whatever is useful for our own lives and future, we need to give others the right to enjoy as well. We need to relinquish our greed for what is bigger, stronger, or better for us as individuals, and instead choose what enhances the bigger collective.
It is essential to recognize that everything in this Universe is connected at some level. Physicist Rupert Sheldrake found in his research that every form of life in the cosmos exchanges information with everything else in any three-week period.
How can we tap into this transformative wisdom? We can start by recognizing what resonates with our Higher nature in every situation. From there, we can focus on the strand of Presence that fuels our soul with kindness, and the density of division will drop away.
Lovingkindness is about aligning with a Higher perspective from a place of integrity – taking responsibility for our individual actions instead of waiting for others to change first. It allows us to do what we can with what we have, right now, despite conflicting appearances on the surface of our lives. It frees us to focus on what is possible now instead of what has happened already; to acknowledge the potential in every situation instead of fixating on what we are afraid of.
Practicing lovingkindness is not spiritual bypassing. It is not about putting on blinders to the problems around us. Instead, it empowers us to transcend the lower aspects of divisiveness to find the higher qualities of life that unite us, while extending kindness to everyone around us. This is how each of us can effectively address the challenges of this time and transform life into a more beneficial experience for everyone.
Awakening to truth allows us to see ourselves as we truly are, not as we have been conditioned to believe. We support the awakening of souls not by judging them, but by seeing the spark of Divine potential within each one. True acceptance holds up a mirror of kindness in which each soul can recognize themselves and awaken to a higher level of consciousness.
To survive and thrive beyond this time, we can – and must – step off the teeter totter of positionality and dualism. When we identify with the observer within, we can choose transformative responses at a conscious level.
Change has long been needed on the planet. It is upon us now. The current winds of change are bringing us chaos as well as opportunity. Let’s lean into the opportunity with true kindness that uplifts, instead of tearing apart others – and ultimately, ourselves – with judgment and hatred.
This time of upheaval offers us an unprecedented opportunity for growth in consciousness, lovingkindness and transformation. It challenges us to embody the change we wish to see in the world, and then to hold that vision until its transformative power permeates every aspect of society.
About the author
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Aug 29, 2020 | Cope with change, Personal growth, Resilience
Resilience is that enigmatic quality we all seek when life gets rocky; it is the quality that allows us to dig deep, find renewed courage and face our biggest fears so we can tame our dragons and emerge unscathed at the other end of turbulent times.
Radical resilience offers us that hidden ability during crisis to get back up, dust ourselves off and generate a new vision for our lives at every level.
Genuine resilience has nothing to do with claims of invincibility, superiority or willpower; rather, it depends on our willingness to be vulnerable and stand firm at the very times when we don´t know the next step.
In spiritual terms, resiliency involves the commitment to awaken further during times of setback instead of shutting down, and that awakening leads to growth in wisdom and faith.
Charles Dickens´ classic novel A Tale of Two Cities, opens with these lines:
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair … we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way …”
These words could well be used to describe current times instead of the French Revolution era almost 250 years ago that Dickens described! It tells about a time of chaos, conflict and despair; a time of controversies and contradictions, as well as happiness.
Still today, these challenges are inherent in life and thus continue. Life is filled with difficulties and triumphs, obstacles and opportunities.
Humanity is in the midst of a resurgent pandemic, suffering from a lack of leadership and facing the threat of economic collapse. We are caught up in civic uprisings and struggles against racial and social injustice worldwide. Beyond these immediate threats, we´re still facing a global climate crisis that makes the rest of our actions look like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.
Because all things are interconnected, the transformation we yearn for involves not a single change, but a cascade of complex changes. The way we approach these changes, could ultimately lead to global destruction or a genuine transformation of the world as we´ve known it.
The critical choices and responsibilities are ours.
We are being called to a greater sense of meaning and purpose in our lives. Effective choices and actions must come from a deeper level of understanding. We are called on to embark on a collective rite of passage to transform old beliefs and find new ways to orient our lives despite radical uncertainty and rapid change.
The pressure caused by continuing, rapid, major crises reveals hidden fault lines, great inequities and painful injustices in all areas of our lives. It is calling us to respond with more than simple survival: long-term resilience requires that we respond in the midst of crisis with genuine inner change on a personal level, so we can merge our purified vision with others` to transform society from the bottom up.
Resilience is a hard-earned quality. It is not developed by a life of comfort, ease and safety, despite what the ego would have us believe. Only when faced with obstacles, stress, and external threat does resilience develop. Psychological studies show that children who do not face adversity early in life tend to lack a capacity for resiliency. As the old proverb goes, “Smooth seas make bad sailors.”
Resiliency can be developed by facing difficult times with faith and courage. It does not matter how many setbacks we face, or how many failures we experience, what matters is how we respond to challenges.
The soul is the only aspect of a person that cannot be overwhelmed. It is the seat and living source of human resilience.
We deepen our resilience by responding from the soul, and not the ego. Whereas the ego screams for revenge, the soul takes inventory and accepts humble responsibility for its own part in the unfolding picture. Instead of stirring up more turmoil, it forgives the wrongs. In so doing, it neutralizes the escalation of hatred and anger by extending forgiveness and compassion.
No matter how dark the night, the soul can find salient aspects to help the human soul awaken further. There is much that we can do to support this process.
We are in a collective rite of passage, a rare state of transition that can transform the nature of societies worldwide. If we can hold a vision for the emergence of a more inclusive humanity, we can find ways to navigate the rough terrain from here to there. Meanwhile, we need to embrace the unifying moments of community that appear in the midst of conflict, participating in these moments as part of the collective healing process where we agree to protect and care for one another.
In these troubled times, we can also draw closer to like-minded souls who share this greater vision. Our soul tribe may span the globe and all timelines past, present and future. We can find comfort in nature and in our animal companions. And we can draw from the well of Spirit to renew our faith so we can hold that vision for the world we wish to create, standing strong, brave and unwavering in the face of the demolition of the old. We can tend the sacred spark of our inner lives to embody a more soulful presence in this world.
Ultimately, it is the awakened soul that rises above isolation and despair. By nurturing this awakened state in ourselves and others, we will find the strength to hold onto that higher collective vision and to do our part toward its fulfillment. In fact, it is our sacred duty to support and serve the sparks of holiness we find others and in the world.
The light that burns in us is also the light that dwells in others; it is the hidden light at the center of all things. When the inner light of soul awakens from within, it enlivens things in the world around us as well. That is how things change, from the inside out; from the soul to the world. The radical resilience of the awakened heart can hold a vision of greater inclusiveness to spur us on toward acts of courage and forgiveness, leading us toward the creation of a better world.
by Ada Porat | Jul 22, 2020 | Change bad habits, Conscious living, Life skills, Mindfulness, Resilience, Self-awareness
Self-compassion is a powerful antidote to difficult emotions such as anxiety and shame. It is a portable form of therapy that can be applied anywhere.
Many people think of self-compassion as a weak trait and shun it in their effort to act tough. And yet, self-compassion is hugely important to help us learn and grow.
It allows us to become more resilient because we accept the inherent possibility of both failure and success in all areas of life, instead of resisting it. Through the lens of self-compassion, we recognize that both failure and success are part of the process of life. Instead of hardening our stance in the face of setbacks, this recognition helps us to accept ourselves and our best effort as good enough in each moment. Even when we fail, self-compassion gives us the courage to try again.
The aspect of ourselves that judges, blames or shames ourselves or others, will be the slowest in evolving. Our least evolved parts are usually stuck in basic survival instincts, including excessive self-criticism, fear, hatred and shame.
By healing this within us, we are able to fully evolve.
Whenever we feel threatened by something outside ourselves, we automatically revert back to the primal fight/freeze/flight response for protection and safety. We lash out, self-isolate or avoid confrontation instead of learning how to effectively deal with challenges.
When danger is experienced on the inside, we go a step further: we internalize the fight/freeze/flight response and instead judge, blame or abandon ourselves. We devolve toward self-criticism, isolation and stuckness – the unholy trinity of woundedness.
A good case in point is the anxiety that many people experience around public speaking. According to psychologist and mindfulness practitioner Dr. Chris Germer, a public speaking anxiety is not an anxiety disorder; it is a shame disorder. At the root of the anxiety that causes us to fear failure or to choke up, lies deep shame.
When we internalize our shame, we create anxiety.
Self-compassion dissolves this excessive shame and self-criticism to bring balance thru self-love. In essence, the practice of self-compassion allows us to hold ourselves in the midst of shame, acknowledging that we are all imperfect beings and embracing ourselves nonetheless.
Many of us extend compassion toward others, yet have difficulty in holding compassion toward ourselves. We can be compassionate to others because we don’t feel immediately threatened by their challenges.
And yet, healthy self-compassion is a necessary prerequisite to master before we can offer true compassion to others.
Why is it so difficult for us to develop self-compassion?
Self-compassion is not our first response at the instinctual level of survival; it is a skill we need to develop from a spiritual perspective if we wish to break free from living at basic levels of survival and evolve into our fullest potential. Old conditioning of self-judgment, unworthiness and shame also make it difficult for us to practice self-compassion and block our growth. To continue evolving, it becomes essential for us to address these emotions.
Self-compassion can be seen as a melting of the heart in the face of difficulty – stepping out of judgment and into compassion devoid of judgment for ourselves or others. It allows the lower, denser emotions to dissolve in the higher frequencies of compassion and love.
When the heart starts to soften around an issue, we will re-experience some of the same emotions previously triggered by conditions: shame, guilt, pain, grief, disappointment and more. And yet, as we learn how to hold that space of compassion for ourselves, we become strong enough to hold our pain as well. By becoming present and acknowledging these buried emotions, they can finally dissolve so we can let go of woundedness in our lives.
Self-compassion gives us the capacity to hold ourselves in love while we process old pain differently and resolve it, instead of staying stuck in a dysfunctional coping mechanism. This practice allows us to become stronger and more resilient, and we grow in grace.
Even as life continues to offer us emotional triggers, our growing ability for self-compassion and understanding empowers us to hold that safe space of compassion for ourselves. It allows us to see ourselves as a work in process, holding our struggles and the messiness of our lives in compassion. I believe this is what pioneering psychologist Carl Rogers meant when he said: “When I accept myself just as I am, I can begin to change.”
Self-compassion becomes easier with practice. It develops our ability to extend compassion and forgiveness to all forms of life, and to offer more life-expanding love to others. Ultimately, it connects us intimately to the abundantly rich wellspring life.
Self-compassion is not self-indulgence; it means treating ourselves with the same care, love and support we would give another.
This inner stance allows us to ask ourselves what we need and then giving that to ourselves. It allows us to recognize that all people are imperfect – including us – and to admit that in ourselves at the very moment we feel we’re failing. It gives us the grace to accept what is instead of getting stuck in resistance and denial.
At the core of self-compassion lies mindfulness – observing things as they happen and being willing to stay present with difficult emotions. Mindfulness is a wonderful practice because it teaches us how to step out of the drama and practice compassion toward ourselves and all sentient beings.
Lasting transformation comes not from just understanding the process of self-compassion, but putting it into practice as a personal way of living.
Here are a few guidelines to help you live from a place of self-compassion:
- When you find yourself failing or suffering, bring mindfulness to it – acknowledge that you are struggling to validate yourself.
- Remind yourself of the common humanity of the situation – this is not just you; it is part of all of life. Struggle is a part of life.
- Speak some words of kindness to yourself; comfort yourself and give yourself the encouragement that you would give your best friend.
- Cultivate the habit of practicing lovingkindness to yourself and all sentient beings in all circumstances – especially the challenging ones! An excellent place to start is with the Buddhist Lovingkindness prayer, one version of which you can find at Buddhagroove.
- Commit to a daily practice of self-compassion. In the flow of life, a self-compassionate response means honoring the pain of seeing what we’ve done; recognize difficult situations as areas in need of healing, acknowledging the experience and its related shame in love, and then opening our hearts with forgiveness and compassion in the midst of shame.
When more and more people commit to practicing self-compassion, we create a culture of kindness in which everyone can heal and grow. Together, we can become a force for healing in a broken world.
About the Author
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
by Ada Porat | Jun 25, 2020 | Conscious living, Cope with change, Empowering changes, Gratitude, Love, Personal growth, Self-awareness, Spirituality
We are gifted with life in the physical body and world to learn how to truly love. Our conscious participation in this process as awakened souls allows us to fulfil our highest purpose. And from the conflict all around, it’s clear that we’re not doing very well with mastering this lesson!
Life is very simple, really, but because most of us live from the mind and not the heart, we’ve developed the false belief that life is complicated and our ultimate purpose too complex or hard to find.
There is a better way.
It is time to remember why we came here in the first place. We did not come to earthly life to divide and conquer, but to find our way back to Oneness through love. All the great wisdom traditions tell us we are born from love, though we tend to forget that and operate on autopilot much of the time.
Learning to truly love requires us to develop gratitude and forgiveness. We cannot truly love with judgment and hatred in our hearts; and we cannot enjoy the beauty of life when we are driven by insatiable greed.
Ram Dass said, “If I’m an ego, I am judging everything as it relates to my own survival… souls love. That’s what souls do. Egos don’t, but souls do.”
From the soul perspective, a life well lived is not measured by the amount of power, money or status an individual can amass at any cost – a well-lived life is measured by how well the soul learned to embrace gratitude and forgiveness as expressions of Divine love.
We are intrinsic parts of nature and inexorably interconnected with all other people. Anything detrimental we do to the planet or to others, we ultimately inflict on ourselves. And so, the true wakeup call sounding for all of us is to see just how far we have drifted from the moorings of love so that we can course-correct.
Only when we acknowledge our part in the game of separation, judgment and fear, can we begin to heal the wounds of separation consciousness. There is no transformative benefit in reacting to the voices clamoring for separation, division and conflict, because whatever we react to, we entangle with energetically.
Instead, this is the time all awakened souls are asked to first go within and realign with Higher consciousness. From that alignment with the Source of love, unity and truth, our presence becomes transformative as we interact with fellow souls. We heal when we align with our Source – that truth, love and unity is what sets us free.
Our realignment with Source enables us to approach life from a place of Divine love rather than from survival anxiety. It also enables us to live with greater interdependence. As we increase our awareness of existing within an intelligent and benevolent universe, we experience greater intimacy and connection with all forms of life, including ourselves.
Will this guarantee a life of safety and comfort?
No – that is not why we came here. We embarked on this life for our personal soul growth, not to isolate ourselves from the lessons of this earthly school and our fellow soul companions.
It is true that life can be full of suffering. We all get physically sick and our bodies sometimes ache.
Just as in school, we may not enjoy all the lessons that come our way. There are abundant opportunities to feel let down by others or frustrated with ourselves. And the world at large—now there’s a circus! We are confronted with all sorts of painful, alarming situations—abuse, starvation, poverty, war, lack, uncertainty, corporate depravity. On any given day we might get into an accident or learn that someone we love has died.
Over eons of time, we’ve developed many coping strategies to survive, and not all of them are helpful. Coping strategies allow us to roll out of bed each morning and face the world. And while some of them are useful, we may overuse or over-identify with these survival strategies. When we do so, we become cut off from love, separated from trusting life and our Source.
Separation consciousness is rooted in the belief that the external world is separate. The ego believes that it resides “in here” and everything else is “out there.” By locking in this duality-based viewpoint, we cannot see our role in co- creating all our experiences. We become limited, fear-based and paranoid.
This duality-based view of life is an obstacle to the emergence of our Divine nature. To heal that, we need to return to love. A Course in Miracles states, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
Science tells us that we reside in a unified field of energy called the universe. Every major religion, spiritual path, and wisdom tradition has some version of Oneness at its core.
From an energy perspective, we are all interconnected like billions of mirrors endlessly reflecting and stimulating one another’s growth. The world is an enormous reflection of our psyche. Our job is to attend to the source of the projections, not the mirrors. We are to heal the roots of separation, not to slap labels on others that keep us separate.
Anais Nin said, “We see things not as they are. We see things as we are.” When we stand in judgment over something, it can be very enlightening to ask ourselves what it is we do not wish to see in ourselves, for it is that inner blindness that makes us project our self-judgment out into the world instead.
Spiritual awakening frees us from the blindness of unconscious living. It allows us to transcend ego as our primary identity. Awakening empowers us to bridge the separation we formed with life beyond ourselves. This ongoing process calls us to heal and reunite the wounds of separation consciousness, both in ourselves and with others. And we do that profound work with the tools of forgiveness, gratitude and love.
Persian mystical poet Rumi wrote, “Everyone sees the unseen in proportion to the clarity of their heart.” Clarity is what remains within when we replace our ego distortions with growing awareness. This shift in consciousness enables us to recognize the spiritual lessons presented in our experiences.
To the awakened soul, everything is a benevolent lesson—despite the ego’s endless stories that tell us otherwise. Stress, frustration or “negative” emotion is just an indication of something that needs attention, an invitation to expand our true awareness and heal the underlying separation.
We expand our conscious awareness through the practice of forgiveness – it asks us to surrender our attachment to the ego’s need to be right, to feel validated or empowered.
The ego wants to win, whereas the soul wants to grow.
When we let go of our attachment to the ego’s power addiction, we forgive. And when we forgive, we discover gratitude for what is. We’re able to see the beauty of what is, instead of blindly striving for what is not.
Situations the ego may construe as failure or loss may now be seen as opportunities to learn rich and necessary spiritual lessons. Even trying situations contain buried gifts. The imperfections of the world are perfect for our purpose of learning how to love in a healing way.
Instead of asking “Why this? Why me? Why now?” which implies that we do not trust the implicate order of life, we can start to ask instead, “How is this helpful on my journey? What can I learn from it? How do I need to change to return to my inherent state of peace?”
In true awakening, the presence of spiritual love within calls on us to have compassion for the struggles of others and to forgive them for their limitations. When we do that, we start to heal the wounds of separation. We don’t love the other because they are black, or white, Muslim or Jew, rich or poor – we love them because they are part of our family of humankind.
All our fellow humans deserve our love, forgiveness, respect and support because that is how we heal separation consciousness – not by sticking labels on them and then arguing about the meaning of the labels. And certainly not by destroying the fragile physical vessel of the soul.
Humans evolve when they can see and grasp a better way; a better vision of themselves and of the world. One of the greatest gifts we can offer others, is to recognize their true potential as souls and to mirror that for them so they can evolve toward that potential.
We heal anger with love, hateful acts with forgiveness, and disrespect with respect.
This is the real work of awakening. It is the work of healing the wounds inflicted by egos operating on greed and inequality.
If you are reading this, you are one of the awakened souls on the planet who are being called to be part of this monumental task. The time is now. Together, we can do this!
About the Author
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.
