Is it just me, or does life seem to be happening at a faster clip these days? At times, if feels as if we live our lives like passengers on a runaway train, distracting ourselves with small details while the outer landscape whizzes by at dizzying speed.
The frenetic pace of life is one reason why meditation – stilling the mind – is so necessary to ensure a less nauseating ride. It sometimes feels as if we’re witnessing a collision between the world we wish to live in, and the world that actually surrounds us. We may find ourselves stuck at critical junctions, faced with major decision points that we are not prepared for.
We may not even know what questions to ask when things go wrong, let alone how to navigate past the challenges.
How do we navigate thru all of it? Where is the delicate balance between setting intention, holding on to the dream, and surrendering attachment to the outcome? One thing is certain: holding on too tightly can make for a bumpy ride!
We may do all the necessary groundwork to prepare for a successful journey, and it may still not be enough. We may even feel all calm and confident, interpreting the signs along the way as confirmation of being guided by a Divine Hand until BAM! Something completely unexpected, inconvenient and even painful happens! How do we deal with this?
Let me give you an example. I’ve been involved in a minor building project (also known as a brilliantly disguised life lesson) that has escalated and morphed into a major undertaking for the past five months. The experience has stretched me far beyond my comfort level in many areas.
And I’m not talking about the minor inconvenience of noise and dust here… I’ve had a crash course in being a general contractor on a building project without any prior experience and dealing with the daily headaches of back-ordered materials, wrong deliveries, construction setbacks, inclement weather and work schedules, all while trying my level best to juggle these demands with the intense requirements of counseling and coaching in two locations.
Last weekend, the end of the project finally emerged within view – after three weeks of waiting in limbo, the manufacturer shipped the roofing material. I could almost taste the final stretch – and to celebrate completion of the project, I made plans. Yes, I’d worked intensely hard for months and finally, I was going to play for a whole weekend… I was going to sleep, rest, relax, catch up with some friends, read, sit on the deck and watch the sun set. I was so ready for a break!
Until life intervened.
Of course, in all my planning, I forgot about the Yiddish proverb that says: “Der mentsh tracht und Gott lacht” – indeed, humans plan and God laughs.
The roofing materials were delayed by another week. And then Hurricane Odile hit.
Now, I am very blessed that the eye of the hurricane did not pass over my home and destroy it; the weather system simply dumped buckets of rain across Arizona as it moved northeast. Once the rains started, it kept coming down in torrents. Parts of the state flooded as record-breaking rains pelted down, and flash flood warnings were issued statewide.
I listened to the rain pelting down on the unfinished roof, soaking through the temporary particle board and dripping onto the floors… the leaks turning into trickles of water that became steady rivulets… and still it kept on raining. There was nothing I could do but watch. The pouring rains steadily washed away my best plans for a well-deserved weekend of rest, replacing them with assessment for recovery and damage control.
I took some deep breaths… From experience, I knew that the question we tend to ask first is typically the wrong one: “Why? Why me? Why this? Why now?”
There is a better question to ask and I knew it, too. “How could this be useful? How could I best learn and grow from this?”
The answer lay in surrendering to what is, not resisting it. The roof was leaking, the rains were here to stay for days and there was nothing I could do about it, except surrender to what is. I could choose to resist and experience more struggle, or I could surrender to what is and trust in Unseen Hands lovingly watching over me… even in this situation.
As soon as I released the urge to struggle, I felt myself relaxing. In the midst of the chaotic, messy, half-finished project around me, I felt a sense of peace breaking through to replace the denser emotions of worry, fear, anxiety, frustration, and overwhelm. Even though I was faced with the inconvenient truth that the situation was not going to miraculously change, I felt calm and at peace. There was no need to struggle against anything; there was simply the awareness of what is.
Sometimes, life slaps us sideways despite our most sincere efforts at doing our part. As much as we’d like to believe we are in control, we are not omnipotent and circumstances have a way of showing us that. The unexpected happens, life interrupts our flow, and our best laid plans go wrong!
At times like these, it is important to remember that we still have a choice. We can choose to struggle or to surrender; we can choose to focus on what went wrong or we can celebrate what is going right. We don’t need to figure out the why; we simply need to master the how.
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit https://adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.