Whenever good or bad fortune strikes, most of us spend some time pondering why it happened. We do this because the conditioned mind reasons there must be some meaning to it, just as it seeks to find meaning behind all of life’s events.
The mind always looks for meaning in everything. In fact, it is not the event itself, but the meaning that the mind attaches to an event, that brings either pleasure or suffering. The event may also be thought to reflect either God’s favor or disfavor, which further divides our thinking into a sense of pride or guilt.
However, the meaning we attach to a situation is by no means an absolute indication of its true content. We see this principle perhaps most clearly demonstrated at a sports event where the winning team’s fans respond to the score with loud cheers, while the supporters of the losing team respond to the same score with alarm, anger, or frustration. Same score, different responses based on the meaning attached to it by the spectators.
The meaning we attach to events also brings a value judgment into the picture. No longer do we see the game score simply as a score; we now look for why it happened. Sports commentators spend hours discussing the game to determine who did what to whom, and why. “Whose fault was it that the Lakers lost,” we ask. “Is that good or bad?” By labeling what happened, we think that we can deal with it better: it will justify our becoming defensive, or angry, or hurt, or victimized.
So it is the meaning that we attach to the passing parade of life’s events that pulls us into emotional turbulence. It drives us toward separation, from where we no longer respond to the event, but instead react to the meaning we have attached to the event. No longer is it just another event; it now becomes personalized as a me and a you; a winner and a loser; a victimizer and a victim; my suffering because of your actions. And because we attached a value judgment to the event, we now feel justified to react in some way. This is the classic cycle of duality that leads to ever more suffering, anger and despair.
Meaning is a product of dualistic existence. The human ego does not like a lack of control and looks for anything that implies a sense of power. When something happens, then, our minds attempt to attach meaning to it in order to feel some sense of control. In fact, the entire self-help industry is fueled by that desire for personal power, driven by our aversion to suffering.
To summarize, we suffer because not everything goes our way. We suffer because we dread doing the things we don’t want to do but have to do. And we suffer because we can’t have or do the things we want to have or do. We see ourselves as individual personalities with desires that conflict with our circumstances and responsibilities, causing untold pain and suffering.
How do we turn this around?
For this suffering to end, we need to move our perspective out of identification with our human personality and its ego-based thinking and turn toward identification with our true nature as souls. We need to turn inward toward the Source of our being, where happiness is independent of external things. When we do that, emotional suffering can end.
Indian teacher Ramesh Balsekar stated this process eloquently in A Net of Jewels, where he says,
“Essentially, what the average person wants out of life is just one thing: happiness. It is in this quest that he goes through life day after day, believing that he will somehow, someday find final satisfaction through the things and circumstances of his world. There comes a time, however, when man gets utterly tired, physically and mentally, of this constant search because he finds that it never ends. He comes to the startling discovery that every kind of satisfaction has within itself the roots of pain and torment. At this stage his search cannot but take the turn inwards toward that happiness which is independent of external things.”
The essence of manifest existence is continuous change from birth to death. With physical existence comes the will to live, to survive, to resist threat – and this will resides in the ego. The human ego drives the thinking mind and all our misery in the ensuing attempts to avoid the inevitable.
Life presents problems because our ego nature resists the process of life; we don’t accept what is there in the present moment. We want to become something other than what we now are, have something other than what we now have and so on.
Put another way, pain is a natural part of human life; suffering is optional.
Suffering is a consequence of identification with the ego self and its physical domain. If we feel that we are limited bodies of protoplasma, we will feel a need to resist or control whatever happens to us.
When we shift our perspective back to our true nature as eternal souls, we realize that we are more than what happens to our bodies. We do not need to control or resist what is happening because what happens out there, cannot threaten our true nature within. We also don’t need to label, react or judge anything that happens out there.
Birth, life, good fortune, misfortune, and death simply happen, and have no meaning of their own. Any thought about their meaning is just a thought that has no more meaning than any other thought. The Course in Miracles teaches this principle early on because if we want to find inner peace, it is important to learn to distinguish between what happens out there, and the meaning we attach to it. When we can detach from the meaning we have allocated to any given event, we are able to find a place of neutrality.
In the world of spirituality or non-duality, life no longer requires labels to give it meaning. In non-duality, the essence shows forth its truth and requires no meaning or labels. What it is, is self-evident. It makes no sense to ask what the meaning is of Love, Being, Presence, or Awareness. The very essence of non-duality is Love, Being, Presence and Awareness, so the notion of meaning is superfluous.
Spiritual practice is the discipline of undoing the conditioning of ego and the thinking mind, while learning to align with higher Truth – the principle that guides our souls. A healthy spiritual practice will consist of learning, devotion (prayer, meditation or contemplation), practice (ways in which you implement what you’re learning to integrate it) and interaction with like-minded individuals. You may find a fulfilling spiritual practice within a specific religion, order or teaching; or your practice may be more eclectic and ecumenical. Your practice may look different than the practice of another; and it is not important. What is vitally important, however, is that you commit to some form of spiritual practice consistently over time.
Effective spiritual practice relieves suffering by quieting the chatter of the thinking mind. This is necessary for efficient functioning of the mind. A quiet mind is also an end in itself since it is always accompanied by the peace of pure Awareness. In fact, this can be a guide to distinguish between effective and ineffective practices. If suffering is relieved by a practice, it is worth continuing. If it does not, and especially if suffering increases, it is better to discontinue it.
Effective practices further help us detach from all forms of conditioning. A quiet thinking mind allows unconscious conditioning to rise to the awareness of the conscious mind from where it can be cleared. The thinking mind ordinarily represses unwanted thoughts, urges, and desires, which represent the dark side of the ego (the shadow). When repression ceases, the shadow emerges into awareness.
The Indian sage Papaji described this process by saying that when you begin to awaken, all the gods and demons of your past come to reclaim you. The potential of these forms of unconscious conditioning to destroy one’s peace is minimized by the deepening realization that their release represents the dissolution of the ego-based thinking mind. It is also helpful to keep in mind that these emerging forms are finite in number, even when it feels as if the stack of arising emotions is endless.
As we do the work of consistently becoming aware of and clearing limiting patterns of conditioning, we grow in understanding of our true nature. The journey of spiritual awareness requires us to be vigilant and earnest in our commitment to Truth, and to trust the flow of life wherever it takes us; neither for exclusive joy nor for endless suffering, but to gain deeper understanding so we can learn.
This process of learning provides favorable conditions in which the soul can realize its highest potential. That realization is the highest purpose your soul could strive for – it is the true meaning of life and the sole purpose for being in the body.
©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.